Is Male Chastity Punishment?

Here is a question I had not really considered in the context of an FLR:

Is Male Chastity Punishment?

I had not considered it because I keep elliot in his chastity device pretty much full time from Labour Day until either the May 24th or July 1st Long Weekend. If he needs punishment I have my handy wooden shower brush or a number of canes and whips which I can deploy with great effect.

For me, elliot's chastity is a gift I insist he gives me (and Mady). It is not a punishment so much as a constant reminder of his place in my household and the fact he has no control over his sexual existence. I hold the key and whether he is required to humiliate himself by masturbating or to service Mady or, very rarely, to bring me greater pleasure, his little cock is under my total control.

However, many women who lead their marriages may not want to keep their husbands locked up. After all, there are many women who thoroughly enjoy spontaneous, penetrative sex and don't want to be bothered unlocking their husbands when they are "in the mood". Or a woman might well want to keep her husband on the honour system while she considers whether to lock that little cock down. It is, obviously, entirely up to her.

Now, if a man remains unrestrained the cock cage could well serve as a punishment. Even elliot's soft silicone cage is a bit uncomfortable when, as he often does, he becomes erect at the sight of Mady's pretty breasts or as the result of my teasing him. 

However, if I were using a cock cage as punishment I would want something a little bit more disciplinary. I am thinking of getting this gently spiked cage for elliot simply as a change of pace. But, as you can see, the "spikes" are really more nubs and while they will produce a bit of sensation, I very much doubt that even a raging erection would reach a disciplinary level.

If you are going to use a chastity as a punishment device then you will want something which is well past uncomfortable. This device has a spiked scrotal ring and, while it will not punish erections, it will certainly be unpleasant to be forced to wear for any length of time. However, my sense looking at this device is that the little "spikes" would really just create chafing rather than the real sensation of pain which is critical to punishment.

Not a choice I would make but if someone does decide to try this I would love to hear about your experiences.

I have to admit I have wanted an electro shock chastity device for elliot for some time. However, I have wanted one with a remote control and there have been very few offerings. But this year, under our Christmas tree, elliot is going to find this beauty. A gorgeous, remote control, hard shell, red electro shock device for his little cock. It will be great fun for Mady and I to calibrate it.

So the general answer to the question of a chastity device as a tool for male punishment, is, of course. Locking up your husband's cock will put him in his place. Better still, you can tell him how long he'll be locked up and why he is being punished. Men, especially younger men, tend to behave themselves much better, be more attentive and generally remember their place if you have the key to their cock.

But, and here's the thing, you may find you simply prefer to keep your husband locked pretty much full time. It puts all the sexual control where it should be, in your hands and you'll be able to gradually train him to take his pleasure from giving you pleasure. Once that happens, keeping your husband locked in chastity will simply make sense for both of you. In which case you'll have to find new and inventive ways to punish him. Which can be fun in itself.

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What is Leading in an FLR?

It may seem obvious, but a question which comes up is:

What is Leading in an FLR?

When a couple commits to a female led relationship the gentleman is simply accepting his position and agreeing to do what he is told. Usually he will also be accepting his wife or girlfriend's right to discipline him and, in many cases, her complete control over his sexual life (whether he's put in a cock cage or not). But what is the wife's commitment?

In a very real sense, before a woman decides she wants a FLR she needs to consider what she expects and how she expects to get it. Every woman will have different goals for her marriage. And every woman will have different expectations for her husband. There are, however, some common themes which run through the FLR world. For a woman to lead in her marriage she should consider at least a few of these themes as she develops as the head of her household.

The first of these themes is a view of men in general and her man in particular. Submissive men range from the very weak, differential, often effeminate, sissy boy types all the way through to the strong, hyper-masculine, take charge alphas. Different women like different types of man and a dominant woman is just as likely to find an alpha with submissive tendencies as she is to deal with the needs of a sissy boy. However, sissy, beta or alpha, submissive men share one trait in common; they are happiest in the service of a strong, demanding, dominant woman.

When a woman takes charge of her marriage (or of her boyfriend before marriage) she is essentially taking on the responsibility of guiding, training and conditioning her particular man to fulfil her desires and cater to her tastes. Genuinely submissive men - as any dominant woman will tell you - out number dominant women by at least a factor of ten (likely a factor of a hundred). Which means a woman who accepts her dominant nature is spoilt for choice. However, my impression is that many, if not most, FLR's evolve from essentially vanilla marriages in which a wife finds herself married to a man who is submissive but whose submissiveness was not a part of the original marriage bargain.

For every formal FLR, there are dozens of marriages in which a naturally dominant woman "wears the pants" and there is a rich tradition of the "hen-pecked" or "pussy whipped" husband. Women exercise a natural dominance in the home and men have usually been conditioned by their mothers to accept the female voice as the authoritative voice as soon as they come through the front door. These, informal, Female Led Relationships can work very well and can last for years without any express male submission. In fact, in my experience, in the majority of seemingly conventional marriages the actual head of household is the wife. "Honey Do" lists reflect the natural order of conventional marriages.

When a woman decides to take explicit charge of her marriage she'll often find her life is a good deal easier. Getting men to do as they are told when there is a pretense of equality in a marriage is often difficult and women often find themselves resorting to psychology, sexual bribery and plain old scolding simply to get their man to do what he obviously should do. Even the most submissive man, in a supposedly "equal" marriage will baulk at taking orders from his wife which, in turn, means, that the wife has to phrase her instructions in the form of requests or suggestions. "I think it would be a good idea for you to lose ten pounds," creates all sorts of opportunities for backchat. It is so much easier to say, "With the holidays coming up you're going to lose ten pounds. We'll start right now. You can take yourself and the dog for an hour long walk." No suggestion, no request, no negotiation and no backchat.

Men, generally, respond better to clear instructions. Orders if you like. But women are socialized away from the idea that they can give orders. Especially to men they love. One of the first steps towards leading in an FLR is for a dominant woman to tell her husband what to do and to expect him to do what he is told.

It can be a little strange at first, but the best way to approach it is to recognize that submissive men, even well trained ones, are essentially little boys at heart. They want to be told what to do by a strong, assertive woman and they want to know that there will be consequences if they do not do exactly what they are told immediately. 

Consequences are as important as clear instructions. Disobedience must be punished...either immediately or when it is convenient for the wife. I carry a rather lovely, men's wooden backed, hairbrush in my handbag. If elliot steps out of line I am quite capable of finding a convenient ladies room or dressing room and walloping him. It is quite a narrow brush so less noisy and more painful than a broader brush would be. But I am not at all worried about the sound. I prefer privacy, not for elliot's sake but for the poor women who might walk in on my sweet man with his trousers around his ankles. 

While punishment for behaviour is important, and even more important element of leadership in an FLR, is what I call conditioning. A man has to be taught his place and he must be reminded of it constantly. Whether you make your alpha hubby wear a bra and girdle under his suit or put a bit of weight on his testicles, or dress your sissy hubby up as a maid to serve you, submissive men need and like to be reminded of their position. The more they are reminded to more they realize their submission is what they have been looking for - in many cases, all their lives.

Finally, there is training. For a dominant wife "training" can take many forms. However, in my view, training is as essential as chastity for a loving, submissive, husband. This is because when you are training a man you are paying attention to him and, like a puppy, a husband loves attention. 

Taking leadership in your marriage or relationship means setting goals and standards and then using a mixture of instruction, punishment and reward to ensure that your man meets your expectations. To take a simple example, a man can and perhaps should be trained to pamper his wife. Telling him to run you a bath after dinner is easy. Of course you have to teach him how you like your bath, the temperature, bath oils or bubbles, which soap you prefer, how he is expected to rinse out the tub when you are done, where to put your damp towel and where to hang your robe. But once you have shown him once the next time you want a bath you simply tell him. Then you pay attention to how well he does. The first bath you have after he has been taught there may be a few issues but, seriously, how hard can it be? So, from that point forward, he'll be expected to get it all exactly right. The wrong soap? Water temperature incorrect, towel not neatly hung to dry? Well that is why we have shower brushes conveniently located very near the bath.

Men can and should be trained to do everything from the vacuuming to the dishes to your hand washing and your manicure. Needless to say, the same high standards and immediate punishment for failure to follow instructions are just as important in other routine tasks. And, of course, your husband needs to be trained to provide you with your own private sexual pleasure. As with anything, practice will make perfect and you should give him plenty of practice. However, even when he is between your legs, he needs to be very aware that his performance is being held to a high standard. If you feel he has not done his best, there is nothing at all wrong with sending him to his corner for a while or giving him a good caning to demonstrate your displeasure. He'll do better. Much better.

At the same time, rewarding your husband for a job well done is also a part of training him. If he is in chastity you might set up a little system where he can accumulate points and is allowed to ejaculate when he reaches a target. Putting up a chart on the fridge door with gold stars but without any labels might be fun. I enjoyed one couple's system using nothing fancier than "Go" pieces. He got a three black stones for every mistake or transgression and he got one white stone for each "reward" including any really excellent orgasms she decided were worthy. But the brilliance of the system was that it dictated both his punishments and his rewards. When he had accumulated twenty black stones would get that number of strokes from her cane or paddle that day. Twenty white stones and he was let out of his chastity and allowed three minutes to masturbate. However, she had really made it nicely balanced with two additional rules: once he reached twenty black stones he could postpone his whipping by paying a white piece a day and he could reduce the number of strokes he'd be given by paying a white stone for each forgone stroke. Good could redeem evil.

Do Dominant Wives Need Whips and Chains?

This question stands in for a lot of questions women ask about Female Led Relationships:

Do Dominant Wives Need Whips and Chains?

Well, a nice whip or two can be useful. But the real question here is whether FLRs have much to do with the BDSM world. And like most questions, this one has a variety of answers.

My FLR has very few of the leather and chains elements. We don't have a dungeon. We do have a bit of bondage gear and I am partial to having a couple of sets of police-grade handcuffs close to hand if I want elliot, and occasionally Mady, to be reminded of their positions in my household.

However, in actual fact, the BDSM world, both amateur and professional is very different from the world of FLRs and dominant wives. The essential difference is that BDSM is about a scene or series of scenes which can be very intense but from which the participants emerge and resume their daily lives. (And, yes, I am aware that there can be situations where one person makes a permanent commitment to a Mistress/slave relationship but even here the day to day intrudes.)

In FLRs there may be moments of great intensity - just ask elliot when he is silly enough to be cheeky, much less rude - and punishment can be quite severe. However, those moments fit into a full time commitment of obedience, deference and submission. Part of that commitment is sexual. A man's acceptance of chastity as his natural and permanent state, the re-enforcement of that chastity with a cock cage or other, more elaborate, chastity belt. Most of all, the husband's or boyfriend's recognition that a woman's sexual gratification is his real sexual objective and that his little messes are of no great interest means that the woman is firmly in charge of the couple's sexuality.

So the "whips and chains" question really comes down to what a dominant wife enjoys. And here is a hint, very few women, dominant or otherwise, find much interesting about the theatrical elements of BDSM. It is a conversation I have had online with many women and directly with a few close female friends - it turns out that some of the reluctance that many women have about assuming the dominant role turns on the fact they don't find pulling on thigh-high leather boots and a fantasy land leather corset very appealing. Sure, they might act the role of dominatrix for fun on date night or Halloween, but it is not a common lifestyle choice.

As you might expect, there can be a real disconnect between what a submissive man is expecting in a FLR and what his wife or girlfriend actually does. The elaborate rituals of BDSM may be fantastically erotic for a man and leave his wife wondering what the fuss is about. However, a clever wife can use the erotic cliches of the BDSM world as wonderful teases for her chaste husband. If she wants to.

As I discussed below, men have the most particular fetishes. These can be obsessive and, if left in the closet, can actually impair an otherwise solid marriage, female led or not. Yet very few male fetishes are particularly revolting or, for that matter, difficult to indulge.

Men also are remarkable in their ability to construct elaborate fantasies. "Whips and Chains" are usually part of a larger concept of genuine helplessness in the face of a dominant woman. (And, yes we can speculate where that comes from; but origin is less important than intensity.) While an untrained husband might procrastinate about building you raised vegetable beds, he will be more than willing to turn out the whipping rail of his dreams. Or buy dual purpose furniture which can double as a spanking bench. Weight bearing eye hooks can sprout in the most unlikely places and one wife I know has a beautiful dressing room which artfully conceals a full toy chest - lots of different sized dildos adapted for pegging - a cabinet for her collection of dog sticks, riding crops and dressage whips. It has several nicely concealed fixed points for bondage and a lovely chaise with a single, high, round and padded arm. But her pride and joy is a large dog crate. She owns a large dog but he's never been inside the crate.

"tom has always been deeply into the idea of close confinement," said my friend. "Another friend of mine was "crate training" her dog. Well, I put two and two together and when I had tom build my dressing room, I ordered a large, rather nicely made, furniture really, dog crate. Now, when tom gets on my nerves, or I want to have a nice read in bed or really for any reason at all, I have him strip to his cock cage. Then all I say is "Crate" and in he goes. It has a cute little lock but I had him add a real padlock hasp. Once he's in I go in and snap the lock shut. Then I just forget he's there. It isn't punishment exactly. And my dressing room is hardly a dungeon, but tom knows if he is sent to my dressing room he is entirely at my command. Usually, I will just crate him; but if he needs a whipping or I feel like pegging him, well everything I need is close to hand. And I got a wonderful, very girly, dressing room out of it."

Dominant wives are all about training their husbands. Sometimes that is a matter of punishment, sometimes reward. And sometimes the rewards look an awful lot like punishments. But for both a dominant wife and her submissive husband, the whips and chains are all about working towards creating an obedient, attentive and loving man.

How to Keep a Female Led Relationship Fresh

A question I am often asked is:

How do you keep a Female Led Relationship Fresh?

Like any marriage or relationship, over time an FLR can go from being new and edgy to a bit routine and humdrum. After all, once you have your husband trained, keep his cock in a cage, punish him as required and generally control the decision in your home, what is there left to do?

In fact, a version of this question comes up in vanilla marriages. After the first four or five months, everything from conversation to sex to chores to who takes out the trash has been pretty much resolved. (Yes, kids complicate this but they also provide a focus.)

For some couples, vanilla or FLR, that sense of a settled routine is actually rather welcome. It does make life a lot simpler. But at the cost of being less interesting, or, let's face it, actively boring. Whole books have been written about how to put the zing back into your marriage but, having scanned a few, they all seem to come down to surprises, date nights and finding shared interests. All of which are great and well worthwhile but in an FLR, a woman has a lot more scope because rather than negotiating change, she can simply make the changes she wants.

Once you have your husband trained one of the facts of his life is that he no longer has any real say in your sex life. Which takes more than a little adjusting for both the husband and the wife. At our house, for example, I don't particularly love penetrative sex even when I am on top and in total control. Which, up until Mady arrived, meant that elliot had learned to largely live without penetration and entirely without any penetrative ejaculation. Even before he was in his cock cage more or less full time, from Labour Day to the May 24th Long Weekend, he had been trained to - when told - lie on his back with his hands under his bum while I mounted him and took my pleasure from his hard little cockette. He also knew that if he ejaculated he would be seriously caned or I would take my shower brush to him. (For extra leverage I also have a longer handled shower brush which elliot is actually afraid of.) While this doesn't happen often, it is always a treat for elliot to have to stay hard but not come while I enjoy myself.

However, my real pleasure usually comes when I have elliot bobbing up and down licking my pussy. One of the things which has changed over the years is that I am much more comfortable just telling elliot to get to work when I am feeling a bit lascivious. Because he is almost always in his cage, there is no question at all of his pleasure. In fact, as he is busily using his well-trained tongue, he gets quite horney and usually painfully erect in his cage. But, here again, years of training and the frequent application of the cane if he dares to stop before I tell him to, have turned elliot into a brilliant pussy lapper. (Far too many men think it is acceptable to cease their attentions when they get tired or bored; in an FLR this never happens.)

The sheer novelty of a fully committed FLR can extend for months or even years at a time. However, it never hurts to use a little imagination. For example, if your husband has a little fetish, as I wrote below, it never hurts to tease him a little. Or reward him with your indulgence. Some men like to cross dress, others are deeply humiliated if they are required to sleep in a pretty nightie or wear a girdle under their suits. Either way, a dominant wife can use feminine clothing to remind her obedient husband of his position.

What about social life? Part of the fun of being married is making friends as a couple. A couple in an FLR will, undoubtedly, have vanilla friends who, if they notice anything at all, will note how well mannered and deferential your husband is. Which is fun in itself, especially if you know he's wearing a really frilly pair of panties under his khakis. Can you take this further?

Of course, you can. But a good deal of caution needs to be exercised by the head of your household. "Coming out" to vanilla friends, especially non-FLR couples, can be an exercise in non-comprehension and, frankly, very awkward. I've found that while many wives "get it" immediately, un-trained husbands get very uncomfortable with the idea that your husband is, formally, not the head of your household. (No doubt, younger, more "woke" men may be more open. But it is still a risk.)

To a very large degree, in my experience, if you would like to put your obedient husband through his paces, you are better off with an exclusively female audience. In fact, simply having a close girlfriend in for drinks and having your husband "serve" is an excellent introduction. Nothing needs to be explicit the first time. Your husband essentially acts as a servant bring drinks and canapes and then retreating to the kitchen until you ring your little bell.

Again, in my experience, the sheer novelty of a husband in service will usually elicit a question like, "How do you get your husband to serve drinks?" or, when you ring your bell, "He really comes when you ring?! How do you manage that?" Now the ball is in your court and you have the option of telling a little or a lot. My own strategy has always been to matter of factly say, "Well, we have what is known as a female-led marriage. elliot prefers to do as he is told at home."

Recently, this has often brought the response, "Like 50 Shades of Grey but in reverse." A dreadful book but it has mainstreamed the idea of power exchange. From there the conversation usually flows quite easily. As elliot is in earshot he hears me describe our arrangement and, when I ring for him next, my guest usually looks at him in an entirely new light. Which is great fun.

Before Mady arrived I had a couple of close girlfriends who enjoyed more than a description of elliot's submission. Once they were "in the club" I was delighted to have elliot serve in a more overt way. While I am not a big fan of the "sissy maid" look - although this "lockable" maid's uniform is quite cute - but a nice pleated skirt, white long sleeved blouse (sheer enough to show off his pretty  longline bra) and a cute white waist apron seemed to amuse my friend. So did watching elliot be sent to his corner and a few times, watching me punish elliot. And it certainly made things more interesting when I would say, "Jenny is coming over on Friday."

The variations on this sort of wonderfully ritualistic combination of cross-dressing, service and humiliation are endless.

Is there any such thing as a part time FLR?

I received a note from a rather nice woman which boiled down to this question:

Is there any such thing as a part time FLR?

Here's the note in full - with her kind permission.

Dear Hannah,

I very much enjoy your blog and look forward to new entries and can't wait for your book.

I suppose I am the leader in my marriage in the sense that my husband does what he is told, accepts my punishments when he is cheeky and is sexually submissive to me. He is chaste although I have not yet put him in a cock cage except to play for a day. 

At the same time we have kids, we both work and, frankly, we simply don't have the time for much of anything. Yes, he is sexually submissive; but, really, we're both mainly sexually and in every other way, exhausted. 

The fact is that I find leading and being a dominant wife great fun and very much how I think marriage should be organized, but I don't think I have the energy to be dominant full time.

Any suggestions?

----

This letter, and several like it, are really about the idea that there is a "right" way to be a dominant wife and head of household. There is no such thing. There is only "your" way.

In fact, in a marriage where the husband does what he is told, accepts his wife's right to correct him and is sexually compliant all of the essentials of an FLR are in place. Enforced chastity is merely the cherry on top.

Perhaps the best way to understand a long term dominant/submissive relationship is to see it as a practice rather than as an event. For example, elliot is often sent to his corner to reflect and be mindful; however, he does not have to be sent there every day at 8:30 AM for this to be effective. In fact, days and even weeks may go by without him having cornertime. The fact he acknowledges my right to use this particular discipline is as important as the discipline itself.

At the same time, the writer is underlining a more troubling aspect to her marriage, and frankly, to the marriages of many of the younger people I know. They do not have enough time to really enjoy their marriages whether FLR or vanilla. And the writer, as head of her household is responsible for fixing that with the help of her husband. 

There are a number of things which are time sinks which a clever, dominant, wife will get to work eliminating. First off, screen time. A properly disciplined husband should have a fixed amount of time he is allowed to waste in front of a screen - TV, computer, video game - half an hour a day for non-work related screens is more than enough in my opinion. You would be astonished at how much time that simple rule will free up. 

Don't guess at the screen time either. I suggest you keep a couple of delightfully old fashioned wind up timers around the house. When your husband wants to watch TV or play a video game make sure he has to come to you and ask for his timer. You set it and it will ring when his time is up. (Timers are also good for corner time or when you want to give him three minutes to ejaculate.)

With his newly free time you can have your husband do more around the house. Spend time with the children, clean up the kitchen after dinner, do the laundry (yes, men can be trained not to mix whites with colours). 

The two of you should also sit down an look at your finances to see where the money is going and how it can be better spent to free up time for you as a couple. I cannot overemphasize how much better a marriage can be with a cleaning lady once a week and a regular babysitter. Yes, that costs money but it will give you both time to actually be with one another.

A third strategy is to set a bedtime for your husband. I like elliot in bed by 10 on weeknights and 11 on the weekends. Setting your husband's bedtime is very much an act of wifely dominance. Tell him you expect him in his pajamas or nightie (if you require it) with his teeth brushed and showered and tucked in ready for his kiss goodnight at 10 on the dot and make a point of giving him that kiss every night. Make sure his bedtime is early enough that it actually changes his schedule.

Of course, the nice thing about having your husband in bed at a set hour is that he is available to service you if you are in the mood. elliot loves it when I tell him to lie back and arrange myself for his oral attentions. It also give you a moment in the day to review his behavior and correct him where required. Having a nice, flexible, cane handy and telling your husband to roll over and raise his hips will ensure he knows his place. With a regular, early, bedtime, discipline and pleasure will have a place in your day. 

By making these, small, adjustments a dominant wife can bring a good deal of order into her household and deepen her FLR. Best of all, these sorts of simple routines actually reduce the energy it takes to be the head of your household. Being the dominant partner in your marriage should actually take less rather than more energy. Remember, it is your husband's position to love, honour and obey you. As it should be.

Is there a fetish element to FLRs?

A question which has come up a few times from my email is:

Is there a fetish element to FLRs?

The fact is that men have the most amazing fetishes and obsessions: from open-toed high heels (a fashion favourite of mine) to leather corsets to bondage and dozens more, a particular man will often have a deep, highly sexual, interest in objects or behaviours.

Women, on the other hand, while they may enjoy pretty shoes or the wonderfully compressed feeling of a well-fitted corset, do not tend to be sexually interested in "stuff" or particular activities. Which poses some challenges in a FLR where the essential rule is that it is the dominant wife's sexual preferences which matter.

Here all the decisions are the wife's and a well-trained husband needs to accept those decisions. He may love latex dresses, she may find them too hot. And, realistically, in a well-run FLR, that is an end to the discussion. Or it may not be.

A great deal of the discussion around FLR's revolves around disciplining and punishing submissive husbands as this is the essence of training a man. Spare the rod, spoil the husband and all that. Which is to miss the other side of the relationship. The prizes, the treats which a clever dominant wife will often use to reward her husband's good behaviour.

In even the most conventional, vanilla, relationship wives have long used sexual treats to say "Atta boy" to their husbands. Everything from a quick pat on the bum to a spontaneous hand job or a long, pleasing, blow job are in most wive's arsenals.

Of course, those tips and tricks are available to the dominant wife as well; but if a couple is committed to chastity training and the husband is used to being locked in his cock cage and resigned to very infrequent ejaculation, a wife may be reluctant to break training no matter how well her husband has behaved.

Which is where a particular fetish or obsession may be the perfect reward. After all, if your husband gets terrifically excited by peep-toe shoes, why not slip on a pair and let him worship your feet? He'll get hot and bothered, you'll have rewarded a job well done without breaking his chastity.

It is easy enough to find out if your submissive husband has particular fetishes: you ask him. Most submissive men will have one or two secret obsessions and the fact they have accepted their submissive position is a strong indication there is more going on.

For example, elliot has a wonderfully deep obsession with retro or vintage lingerie: particularly girdles and stockings. (Which is fine by me as I rather like them myself.) Interestingly, he loves seeing me wear them but he, secretly, likes being zipped into a pretty open bottom girdle and having to shave his leg so he can wear lovely seamed stockings. I used to use a very strict girdle to remind him to eat carefully and exercise, since Mady has taken his exercise in hand this is no longer necessary. But, from time to time, as a treat, I will have Mady put out a nice, firm, panti-girdle and stockings. He knows what he has to do and you can see his little cockette straining against the bars of his cock cage.

A dominant wife can and, in my view, should use her submissive husband's secret desires to reward her man. The truth is that men invest their fetishes with a great deal of shame and power. They tend to be very grateful to be allowed to make their fantasies real, if only for a few minutes a few times a year. 

Lock-tober

There is a wonderful idea floating around in the male chastity community: Lock-tober.

I like the idea, even though I keep elliot locked pretty much all year in his cock cage, because it gives couples and chaste men under supervision the opportunity to try extended chastity.

The idea itself is very simple: on October 1 the cock goes in its cage and there is no possibility that the cock cage will be unlocked before Halloween. For couples who have been experimenting with male chastity, Lock-tober is a chance to see the effects of longer-term cock confinement. They can be amazing. If you think your husband is attentive after a few days in his cage, trust me when I say he will be the very model of an obedient, pleasing, male at the end of a thirty-one day lockdown.

Now I realize I am writing about Lock-tober towards the end of October and many chaste gentlemen can see the end in sight in a mere eight days. But there is method to my madness. Even if you have missed Lock-tober, the fact is that any month can be a lockdown month.

The point of putting a cock in a cage for a month is to train the man to accept the fact that his keyholder, and only his keyholder, has the right to his cock. Men being remarkably obsessed with their cocks often quite like a short, up to a week, lock up. They often think that we are thinking about their little cocks and that is more than a little stimulating. But to be locked in a silicone cock cage or a cock cage in stainless steel for a month with no hope of release changes the dynamic in interesting ways.

A month without any hope of sexual release is a big gift for a man to give his wife or girlfriend. But it is also a huge gift for the dominant girl to get. Because, with a set period, she does not have to put up with any subtle, much less blatant, begging for release. It also means that, for the month, she will be entirely in charge of the couple's sexuality. Because just because a man's cock is in a cage there is no reason why he cannot keep his wife entirely satisfied with his tongue, fingers and whatever lovely vibrators she enjoys.

For men who are on their own but would like to experience the focus a month of enforced chastity brings, there are a couple of routes to go. The first is to put yourself under the supervision of a female friend. This might be a bit embarrassing, but simply asking a woman to hold a key for a month is good training. You don't have to tell her what it is for, unless, of course, she asks. Alternatively, you can advertise for a local keyholder. Girls who know will be delighted to hold your key for a month for a small fee. Of course, you can do it yourself but my strong suggestion is that, if you go this route, you put a physical barrier between the key and your desire. Freezing the key in a large can of water is a good solution. Or mailing it to yourself. At the same time, for safety, you need to have a key that is accessible. This can be in an envelope held by a friend. The variations are endless.

Here's the point: locking down a cock for a month is all about control. In a couple, her control. For a singleton, self-control.

As I have written before, in a perfect world, most men would be in cock cages most of the time and would be under the strict but loving guidance of a woman at all times. A girl can dream.

My short escorting book

#Escorting?
Free Kindle e-book: https://amzn.to/2OxyyuJ

"Miss Jay is a refreshing voice for the new feminist age and her fun, playful outlook on courtesan life is both entertaining and liberating." (from a review)

Writing about escorting, high end, courtesan level escorting is actually about women taking charge and understanding the power of their femininity.

As I answered the questions in this book, which you can get free at Amazon, I realized that much of what I was writing applied to women who are not escorts.

"Grooming tips, style, fitness, technique but, most of all, attitude. 

Questions for Miss Jay is a modern day, pay for play, Sex in the City crossed with Miss Manners." (from the blurb) 

Part of who I am as a dominant wife is driven by my own very strong preference for femininity. I like to dress beautifully, I like to be pampered and I expect good manners. Which are all things which differentiate very well compensated escorts from their less sought after competition.

Enjoy the free Kindle book!

A Man's Position

I always find it annoying that there are so many great pictures of girls being spanked, standing in their corner, serving men, being bound - with real beauties, models and glorious women all in pretty lingerie or nothing at all - but so few good pictures of men in their proper place.

I had elliot go and search out a few. Annoyingly, this version of blogger does not have any gallery function that I can find but enjoy anyway. We'll post a few more sets.

One note: for gentlemen who are in female led relationships it goes without saying that you are to look no further without the enthusiastic consent of the lady of the house, for men properly in cock cages, make sure you look at each picture closely and see which produces the most significant pressure on your little locked cock. 

Is a Chastity Cage Essential to a successful Female Led Relationship?

Here is another question I am often asked about female led relationships:

Is a Chastity Cage Essential to a successful Female Led Relationship?

I talked about male chastity itself in an earlier answer. The fact is that one of the key elements of a female led relationship is the control of the male's sexuality. In all its forms. The dominant wife or girlfriend takes charge of her partner's sexuality as both proof of her dominant position and, just as importantly, because it is the most powerful tool she has to shape, discipline and refine her lovingly submissive man.

Ah, but do you have to lock up his little cock?

A few years ago I would have said no. But since I got elliot's first cock cage and then made the decision to keep him caged nearly all the time, I have changed my thinking a lot on the question.

I certainly think the honour system of male chastity can work for couples but the physical reality of putting your husband's cock under lock and key changes the dynamic in quite profound ways. All to the better I might add.

Restricting and controlling the male orgasm is a key element to ensuring that a man is paying close attention to the needs and desires of his wife. However, actually locking up your partner's cock and leaving him locked up for significant periods of time, alters his perspective in very important ways.

Remember, from puberty onward, your husband or boyfriend has been able to masturbate at will and to become erect for any number of reasons. A well-fitted cock cage takes away his right to masturbate and makes erections, without permission, either impossible or acutely uncomfortable. The honour system for male chastity leaves control of your husband's cock in his hands. Locking his cock up, puts the keys and the control where they belong, in your hands.

Symbolically, a cock cage is huge for the obvious reasons. However, practically, your man's submission is re-enforced every minute of every day. For example, most men prefer to pee standing up. A man in a cock cage will almost always find it easier to sit down. A locked man will still experience his morning erection but it will be a very different experience. Instead of a sort of warm horniness - often leading husbands to want sexual release before you've even brushed your teeth - a cock cage will send an instant morning reminder about who is in charge. If you have a morning routine worked out a painful erection will send your husband off to make coffee, shower and return to your service.

Being required to wear a cock cage is also a humiliating reminder for husbands and boyfriends that they have given up their sexuality to the woman they love. Now, elliot works at home and always has, but when he has to take meetings, his cock cage and ball stretcher are a constant reminder of his submission. Obviously, he is never going to be unfaithful when he is locked in his cage, less obviously, he tries to avoid any sort of sexual response at all because getting hard is not actually an option.

Leaving a submissive man uncaged means he retains at least some control over his sexuality. Men in general, and submissive men in particular need to have very strict limits set on their sexuality. For a dominant wife having her husband put on his cock cage and then locking it puts a hard limit on his sexuality. For as long as she chooses her husband is, effectively, neutered.

And all the better for it.

In fact, even men who are not in female led relationships can benefit from the control and humility a cock cage affords. Simply ordering a cage and locking up your own cock is an excellent first step in accepting your submissive nature. Finding or hiring a woman to hold your keys is the next step. Asking a girl out on a date when your cock is in its cage changes the dynamic of the relationship right from the go. As a submissive male you are not going to initiate sexual activity in any case but if the woman decides she wants to move ahead intimately, you will know you will have to tell her about your cock cage and ask her if you could please her in other ways. It is, of course, her decision but as more women realize they prefer to be the dominant partner you may find that your caged cock is actually very attractive.

Update: A number of people have written to ask if I thought all men should have to wear cock cages all the time. It is a wonderful, if wholly impractical, idea. While I have no doubt it would do men and women the world of good if men were all required to have their cocks locked up that is not going to happen. However, there is no reason at all that men, both inside and outside FLRs cannot voluntarily accept the control and discipline of a cock cage.

And wouldn't it be fun if men who have accepted the demands of a chaste life in the service of women could wear a discrete symbol of their general submission? And, yes, I am thinking of a little key pin. Imagine how delightful it would be to see a gentleman wearing such a pin and knowing that he was locked up and that he has accepted the proper male position. Imagine how delightful it will be to pin your obedient husband knowing his cock is locked up. (I've already ordered elliot's key pin.) And, of course, imagine, as a submissive male, properly locked up wearing your key pin and knowing that a select few women (and, of course, your fellow chaste males) know your actual position.

More of Mady's Patreon of Smut

She's a very naughty girl our Mady.

She's posted two more vintage magazines to her Patreon Vintage Smut Archive...Only about 150 to go and then she gets to do some vintage spanking photo sets and some vintage bondage photo sets.

The good news is she has her first Patreon! Another 99 and she'll actually make some money.

You can join her at https://www.patreon.com/hannah_obeyed

She better start posting faster or I will have to take matters in hand....

In an FLR what is the difference between discipline and punishment?

This is actually a great question about Female Led Relationships:

In an FLR what is the difference between discipline and punishment?

As the head of the household a dominant wife is responsible both for setting goals and boundaries and for ensuring that her expectations and directions are met. However, she is also responsible for creating the conditions in which her husband finds it easy to accept and enjoy his submissive position.

For the dominant wife to create those conditions she must be comfortable exercising her authority. Tell, don't ask. Setting standards, requiring respect and obedience. These are all essential to a successful, long term, FLR. However, men are astonishingly literal creatures and a smart woman asks for and receives tokens of her husband's submission. These are the simple disciplines of an FLR and they can range from plain good manners, doors held open, rising when a lady enters a room to more fundamental requirements.

For example, while I keep elliot locked in his cock cage most of the time, I will, occasionally, have Mady lay out a girdle for him to wear during the day or overnight. A good, firm, very utilitarian, long leg panty girdle in nurse's white reminds him exactly of his place. Being forced to wear such a constricting garment is deeply humiliating and "discipline" in its most basic sense. The discipline of doing what he is told and then having to wear something both feminine and somewhat uncomfortable for a few days at a time is very, very good for elliot.

The entire point of disciplining a man is to gradually, but inexorably, break him to his wife's will. While many men may, somewhat reluctantly, submit to their wives, the truly dominant wife will settle for nothing less than complete surrender. A surrender which will include chastity in most cases, the adoption of the wife's sexuality as the only sexuality within the household, and a willingness to do exactly what he is told. It is on this base of a man's unconditional surrender that the new world of a female led relationship is constructed.

In some female led relationships discipline will include regular maintenance spankings, or, more realistically as a woman has quite a difficult time putting enough force into a hand spanking, regular sessions with a hairbrush, or bath brush or even a cane. For many husbands, knowing that they will be whipped once a week whether they deserve it or not, it a key element in achieving and maintaining discipline.

I discussed punishment in an earlier post. There really is a huge difference between discipline and punishment and it is vitally important that a dominant wife understand that difference. Punishment is administered as needed to correct specific disobedience, inconsideration or outright defiance. In my view, even a hint of disobedience needs to be met with immediate and very painful consequences. There is nothing light or restrained about a punishment whipping because, in fairly short order, you want your man to be genuinely afraid of being punished. You have to be prepared to punish your husband or boyfriend for his, and the relationship's, own good.

Where a maintenance session may be quite painful and a bit unpleasant for your husband it will also be somewhat predictable. A couple of dozen swats with the bath brush is quite endurable if more than a little stingy. But when you strap your husband down for punishment he should have no idea at all what he will have to endure and for how long.

In fact, one of the biggest differences between discipline and punishment is that your husband will almost never be restrained for his discipline whereas it is often important for a husband to be restrained for punishment so that he is absolutely clear that he is helpless. Something as simple as a few zip ties (or this double handcuff zip tie) can make your husband's position very clear to him. I am, frankly, not a huge fan of more elaborate bondage in the FLR setting. Too many men have complicated bondage fantasies involving lots of expensive props and leather. If you are restraining your man you are doing it to punish, not please, him.

While a good whipping is often all it takes to correct bad behaviour sometimes you want to set a reminder for a few days or weeks. For example, while I keep elliot in a 20 mm, 340 gm ball stretcher because I like the look, I have a punishment stretcher which is 40 mm and 690 gm. I am now using magnetic versions of these devices. If elliot has to wear both and his cage he has over a kilogram of weight crushing his poor little testicles. A day or two of that and he knows he's been punished.

The point of punishment is to respond to and correct bad behaviour. Which, in turn, keeps a man mindful of his position and the discipline he has accepted in his FLR. Over time most dominant wives find they are only rarely required to punish their husbands. Because their husbands have learned the often painful lesson that there really are consequences for bad behaviour.

Mady's Second Patreon Magazine

My lovely maid Mady has her new project up at Patreon. She's posting PDFs, ZIPS, MOBI and ePub versions of vintage erotic magazines from my collection.

Today, High Heels, Vol 1, No 1 from 1961.

These old magazines are terrific. The girls are pretty but they are very real. And, back in the day, heels higher than a couple of inches were the exclusive province of b-girls, tramps and fetishists. Which makes these magazines a wonderful look at a bygone era.

So help Mady have some fun next year, become her

Become a Patron!

Mady's New Project

My lovely maid/companion has finished her academic work and was looking for something to do. We chatted for a while and eventually, she said,

"Ma'am, why don't we figure out something to do with all the vintage smut you and sir have been collecting?"

If was a very good idea. While elliot and I have published several successful Amazon books of vintage material (go here if you want to take a look) we have accumulated literally hundreds of digital files plus boxes of hard copies of some of the wonderful risqué material from the late 40's, 50's and 60's. Right up until the hardcore explosion of the late 70's which doesn't interest me.

But what to do with it all? Well, Mady is saving for a trip to Europe next Spring and I thought it might be fun for her to have a chance to make a little extra money. But Amazon has tightened the rules about republishing old material. Sigh.

"What about Patreon?" said my internet savvy girl as she leafed through a particularly naughty magazine all about girls getting dressed for a date - stockings, corsets, pointy bras.

So, I've set up a Patreon account for her.

Become a Patron!

She is just putting the material up but, and this is a special treat for my readers who enjoy Mady, she is using a lovely picture elliot took of her as her banner. So you can go to https://www.patreon.com/hannah_obeyed and see my pretty maid. I think she may post a few more pictures as she works on her site.

Here is the first magazine: Mistress in Satin

https://www.patreon.com/posts/mistress-in-20986341

Right now Mady is posting a PDF version and a Zipped version. Ebook will follow shortly.

She has also posted a number of pretty pictures of herself in a nicely fitting corset...I know, I never mentioned the tattoos...we try to ignore them but I fear they are growing on me. I'd never get a tattoo but young girls do the silliest things.

Enjoy!

Female Led Relationships and the Single Girl

I don't get this question often but it is an interesting one:

As a young, happily single, woman can I bring elements of female dominance into my dating life?

The answer is, of course, you can. But that raises a host of questions about how? And then questions about "what"? And then, when you think about it for a moment, the question "Why?" is going to really determine how you proceed.

Through Mady I am lucky enough to know several very much younger women. Some of them are lesbian by inclination but four or five prefer, or would prefer, to date men. Sexually, most of these women are experienced but not tremendously so. 

Over the summer we had two "girls weekends" when Mady invited a couple of her friends up to our house and elliot was put to work keeping the wine glasses topped up and the canapes coming. (He has far too much fun serving four women and, as the weekend goes on, serving them in increasingly intimate and somewhat humiliating ways. The girls know we have a female-led household but it takes a little while for them to understand the full implications of this. Mady and I carry on as we usually do. The only significant difference is that while elliot is usually uncaged during the summer, I lock up his little cock in a cute pink cage for the weekend. The girls can ask for the keys as required.)

The conversation often touches on the sheer frustration these girls are experiencing out in the dating world. They find a decent guy, go out a few times, maybe sleep with him and find themselves "ghosted". Or they discover that the perfect gentleman of date two turns into a full-on sexual predator by date four. Or they can't manage to land a date with a particular man they are interested in. It is very much the sort of conversation I had with my girlfriends a generation ago.

If asked, and I always wait to be asked, I am happy to offer advice.

"There are two ways for a woman to present herself in the world," I'd say. "She can try to please that world or she can assume that it is the world's duty to please her. Of course, the third option is to join "Pantsuit Nation" and largely give up on actually being a woman in any interesting sense of the word."

Before the girls come up for the weekend I encourage them to read a couple of my books: Avails: Escorting for the Elegant Woman and Modern Mistress: Lead the Luxury Life You Deserve. For younger women - the Sugar Baby generation - both books are a revelation. The very idea that a woman by dressing elegantly, having very high standards and an enthusiastic approach to sex can make a very good living or be kept in high style is a surprise. And it underscores something I think is very important for women, especially young women, to understand: women hold all the cards. The question is how a particular woman will play them.

For a young woman deciding that she will, implicitly at first, explicitly as her confidence grows, be in charge of her dating life is the crucial first step in developing a female-led relationship strategy. If you take a look at the picture accompanying this note, you see a healthy, strong, slightly remote, young woman who will turn heads where ever she goes. But note how simple her suit is, how plain her clutch is. What makes the outfit, however, are the black leather gloves. If ever there was an outfit which said, "I'm in charge, you'll please me and do what you are told." it's this one.

Everything from a girl's bearing and gait, to her choice in lingerie to how she deploys her makeup will send signals. Her choices, long before she walks into a classroom or an office or a concert, will narrow the range of men who are likely to approach her. 

"The last thing an intelligent, elegant, woman wants is a sub-par man," I tell the girls. "You should be looking for men who excel, who lead interesting lives, who enjoy a degree of success. Dating - which I strongly recommend - is a wonderful dance where a woman has the opportunity to get to know a man, well, men really. And then make a judgement. Is this man worthy of serious attention or should I enjoy his company and his money knowing there is no future?" 

A young lady who embraces her own superiority as a woman will be a refreshing change for most of the alpha males who are confident enough to approach her. And, lucky them, if the young lady likes what she sees, she may encourage that male to get in touch. Or, and this is often best, she may simply ask him for his card and personal number without giving him more than her first name.

At that point she can begin to play a little. Dress well and phone him to tell him to meet her for a drink a block away from his office. Note the word, "tell". A smart girl begins the way she means to finish. This sort of "take charge" attitude will put the girl outside virtually all of her man's previous encounters with dateable women. And when, after a single drink, she says, "You can take me to dinner next Monday. I will meet you here at six," his response will tell her whether he is potentially going to work out as a submissive partner.

Now, as I have always said about elliot, I wanted and have a very alpha man. That he is submissive to me and in our home and, frankly, in public, in no way means he is the least bit wimpy or wishy-washy in business. He would not be a successful as he is were he anything but a pack leader at work. No smart young woman confuses a man's submission to her, his obedience, with any sort of a lack of spine. She wants the man who she will eventually keep in chastity, whip regularly and humiliate routinely, to be worth her attention.

It is usually at about this point that one of my guests will say, as the penny drops, "Well isn't this very much like the way our grandmothers dated in the 1950's?" 

Indeed. Back in the 1950's a girl knew she had a good deal of value and was more than willing to spend a few years enjoying the attentions of suitable young men (and often some rather older ones with a bit more money as well.) These young women did not see hopping into bed at the end of the second date as required or, in fact, as anything other than more than a little slutty. There were plenty of arousing activities which stopped well short of intercourse which would keep a young man dancing attendance. 

So, for a modern young lady who wants to, the first step towards a FLR dating situation is to take charge right from the go. Then, as a possible suitor takes her out on dates, she is able to combine a pleasing degree of strictness with plenty of sexual teasing. What she is trying to do is see if a particular man is, in fact, essentially submissive. While it will be many dates before she takes him over her lap for a good bath brush correction, by the third or fourth date she will certainly be telling her young man that if he misbehaves he will be going over her knee. 

Simply mentioning the prospect of physical correction will often give the girl the information she needs. If her young man brings it up on the next date this is a very good indication that being punished by the girl he loves is interesting.

As I told the girls, there are dozens of things a girl can and should do to see if a man is suitable. One which is always fun is to have him hold and then carry not only your shopping but your handbag. Another, a little further down the road, is to handcuff him - and for heaven's sake use good handcuffs, not toys - slip off your panties and tell him to "Get to work." Some men will baulk, in which case they will not be invited back, but most men in my experience will thoroughly enjoy giving you your pleasure. Of course, they will often expect a girl to "reciprocate". An expectation sensible girls entirely ignore.

So, yes, you most certainly can take the lead in a dating relationship. Best of all, you can make it clear to the men you are dating that you are dating and comparing other men. Men love competition. With your contemporaries, it makes sense to make it very clear that you are, with no particular urgency, planning to marry. 

Now, with older admirers, that is the very last thing they want to hear. Instead, make it clear to them that they exist to ensure you have the nice things like silk chemises, real silk stockings, a really good vibrator and the pampering you deserve. Wonderful food, the occasional short vacation and what Holly Golightly referred to as "Powder Room Money" are all to be expected. Nice things in blue boxes never go amiss.

A girl can be just as in charge with a man old enough to be her father as with a younger man. Those handcuffs will come in handy. But with older men, a girl does not have to be quite as stingy with her favours and good behaviour and really wonderful presents can be the occasion for a controlled ejaculation. The dynamic is very different.

I'll return to the subject another day. But, right now, it is cocktail hour and I'd hate to be late.

A bit of fun...

As faithful readers will remember, my maid/companion Mady has been exercising elliot for a couple of years. Until we got his little dog cart, Mady's preferred exercise was to have elliot piggy back her. He became very proficient at this and, from time to time, Mady will leave the dog cart in its shed and have put elliot through his paces mounted on his back of shoulders. His little cock is in its cage and Mady has a pretty dressage whip we gave her for Christmas. In the Spring and Fall, when it is not too hot, she will often wear black leather riding gloves.

All of which made the first part of this naughty video more than a little amusing. In fact neither of the participants look at all like Mady or elliot, but the girl is of similar size. (Thankfully, under Mady's strict exercise regime elliot is rather better built than the gentleman in this video.) In any case, from time to time, if I look out my window, I see a scene like the beginning of this video played out on out back lawn. We'll see if this video works...

Busy...Summer...Books

Yes, I have been rather lax on this blog. Partly we've been busy, partly we've been enjoying one of the best summer of the decade, warm days, cool nights.

But mainly I have been working on two books: the first is a collection of pieces from this blog about Female Led Relationships. But, of course, when you look over old blog posts there are things to add, to change, to expand upon. So that is taking some time.

The second project comes out of my writing on high end escorts: many of you will have read Avails:Escorting for the Elegant Woman or my book about mistresses: Modern Mistress: Lead the Luxury Life You Deserve. Well, as a consequence of these books I ended up having a very interesting young woman get in touch. We've been writing back and forth and I am, essentially, ghost writing her story, Only on a Tuesday: The Courtesan's Way. Amy is a really interesting girl. Sharp, more than a little decadent and wonderfully able to adapt to the great things life throws at her. She reminded me a bit of me at her age. Both books should be published this summer.

So while Mady and elliot are enjoying the freedoms of summer, I am tied to my desk...well, not actually but I have been thinking of putting elliot or Mady under my desk for rest and relief.

More soon, enjoy the summer!

Pretty Maid For Summer

I have not written much about my maid Mady lately. I suspect because she is so very much part of my household that I am totally used to having her around. Whether she is exercising elliot or helping me dress or serving cocktails and dinner, Mady has become indispensable.

She is also a lot of fun and a much younger woman who I can play with in a way I can't with elliot. For one thing, she loves clothes as much as I do. Several hours a day she is, of course, in uniform; but in the summer her uniform is really very easy.

During the day I love her in this long, linen, button up the back dress. It's easy, not in the least "sexy" and can go over her swimsuit or exercise gear or a pretty little mesh corset and gorgeous lace tap panties.

Summer is all about comfort. elliot is out of his cock cage for the summer. Mady is in summer weight corsets and rarely required to wear stockings. I like her to enjoy the summer's freedom knowing that she will be in more serious service as we go into Fall and Winter.

What I especially enjoy is that she wears exactly what I tell her to wear. Which, of course, extends to continuing her waist training throughout the summer. Now, truth to tell, a full-on waist training corset which Mady wears most of the day during the rest of the year is a heavy and hot garment. Especially when it is laced down to the point where it is actually doing its job and compressing Mady's already tiny waist. But we are resolved that she will marry at 18 inches and there are still an inch and a half to go. Were she to go corsetless in the summer we would likely lose at least an inch, more likely two.

Our compromise is the lighter weight, mesh, corsets Mady normally sleeps in. Here is an example.

Unlike Mady's regular corsets these are bought, ridiculously cheaply ($15-$20) right from Amazon. I would certainly never recommend them for strict waist training - they would fall apart in a few wearings - but for retention and simple beauty they really cannot be matched. For Mady we order the XS which laces down to 20" out of the box. With a few minor alterations, we can bring a couple of them to 19.5". As it happens, the cups fit Mady's pretty little breasts almost perfectly with just a little easing.

When I feel Mady needs a bit more shaping or if we decide to give the good ladies of our little village a hint at how we maintain our figures, I will put Mady in this more heavily constructed, but still mesh, underbust corset.

It is a bit more expensive and, unfortunately, does not come in white; but it can work very well as outerwear over a dress or a skirt and top combination. Mady is more than a little of an exhibitionist so she loves letting the good ladies see the underpinnings she wears under her uniforms most of the time. The good ladies' husbands seem to enjoy Mady's tiny waist as well and, I suspect, our short shopping trips lead to all sorts of fun when our neighbours get home.

At the same time, I always have to remember that Mady is a very beautiful, very fit, young lady and, to be fair, she should have a few deliciously skimpy outfits to gain a little attention with. Nothing says "Hello" like a barely there cotton sundress with little girl flowers and no support whatsoever. You really do have to be in your early twenties to wear this dress with style. Mady does.


 Of course, in our little village and in the bigger world there are many summer events - the July 1 Canada Day Celebrations, the Annual Summer Tea at our Church, the August Regatta at the Lake and so on. When Mady was simply my maid she would not attend these events but, as my maid/companion it is elliot's and my pleasure to bring her along. But for these sorts of events I want her to be a bit elegant, a bit stylish, while still perfectly girlish.

I love Mady in a pretty polka dotted, boatneck dress with the cute little belt drawn extra tight to show

off her deliciously tiny, corseted, waist. No bra, seeing her pretty breasts running free under the thin fabric of the bodice is a treat and much appreciated by the gentlemen at these events. She knows I am showing her off and enjoys the attention. And, once again, these dresses, while well made, are ridiculously cheap. We do a little hand sewing to ensure a perfect fit but, truth to tell, I've bought Mady half a dozen of this pattern in different fabrications which lets her look different, yet the same, at each of the summer occasions.

And, yes, there is something just a little naughty about having my own, living, doll to dress just like playing Barbies. All the more fun when we all go home and I stand elliot in his corner and undress my sweet Mady and let her slip under my dress...Bliss, in fact.