How to Keep a Female Led Relationship Fresh

A question I am often asked is:

How do you keep a Female Led Relationship Fresh?

Like any marriage or relationship, over time an FLR can go from being new and edgy to a bit routine and humdrum. After all, once you have your husband trained, keep his cock in a cage, punish him as required and generally control the decision in your home, what is there left to do?

In fact, a version of this question comes up in vanilla marriages. After the first four or five months, everything from conversation to sex to chores to who takes out the trash has been pretty much resolved. (Yes, kids complicate this but they also provide a focus.)

For some couples, vanilla or FLR, that sense of a settled routine is actually rather welcome. It does make life a lot simpler. But at the cost of being less interesting, or, let's face it, actively boring. Whole books have been written about how to put the zing back into your marriage but, having scanned a few, they all seem to come down to surprises, date nights and finding shared interests. All of which are great and well worthwhile but in an FLR, a woman has a lot more scope because rather than negotiating change, she can simply make the changes she wants.

Once you have your husband trained one of the facts of his life is that he no longer has any real say in your sex life. Which takes more than a little adjusting for both the husband and the wife. At our house, for example, I don't particularly love penetrative sex even when I am on top and in total control. Which, up until Mady arrived, meant that elliot had learned to largely live without penetration and entirely without any penetrative ejaculation. Even before he was in his cock cage more or less full time, from Labour Day to the May 24th Long Weekend, he had been trained to - when told - lie on his back with his hands under his bum while I mounted him and took my pleasure from his hard little cockette. He also knew that if he ejaculated he would be seriously caned or I would take my shower brush to him. (For extra leverage I also have a longer handled shower brush which elliot is actually afraid of.) While this doesn't happen often, it is always a treat for elliot to have to stay hard but not come while I enjoy myself.

However, my real pleasure usually comes when I have elliot bobbing up and down licking my pussy. One of the things which has changed over the years is that I am much more comfortable just telling elliot to get to work when I am feeling a bit lascivious. Because he is almost always in his cage, there is no question at all of his pleasure. In fact, as he is busily using his well-trained tongue, he gets quite horney and usually painfully erect in his cage. But, here again, years of training and the frequent application of the cane if he dares to stop before I tell him to, have turned elliot into a brilliant pussy lapper. (Far too many men think it is acceptable to cease their attentions when they get tired or bored; in an FLR this never happens.)

The sheer novelty of a fully committed FLR can extend for months or even years at a time. However, it never hurts to use a little imagination. For example, if your husband has a little fetish, as I wrote below, it never hurts to tease him a little. Or reward him with your indulgence. Some men like to cross dress, others are deeply humiliated if they are required to sleep in a pretty nightie or wear a girdle under their suits. Either way, a dominant wife can use feminine clothing to remind her obedient husband of his position.

What about social life? Part of the fun of being married is making friends as a couple. A couple in an FLR will, undoubtedly, have vanilla friends who, if they notice anything at all, will note how well mannered and deferential your husband is. Which is fun in itself, especially if you know he's wearing a really frilly pair of panties under his khakis. Can you take this further?

Of course, you can. But a good deal of caution needs to be exercised by the head of your household. "Coming out" to vanilla friends, especially non-FLR couples, can be an exercise in non-comprehension and, frankly, very awkward. I've found that while many wives "get it" immediately, un-trained husbands get very uncomfortable with the idea that your husband is, formally, not the head of your household. (No doubt, younger, more "woke" men may be more open. But it is still a risk.)

To a very large degree, in my experience, if you would like to put your obedient husband through his paces, you are better off with an exclusively female audience. In fact, simply having a close girlfriend in for drinks and having your husband "serve" is an excellent introduction. Nothing needs to be explicit the first time. Your husband essentially acts as a servant bring drinks and canapes and then retreating to the kitchen until you ring your little bell.

Again, in my experience, the sheer novelty of a husband in service will usually elicit a question like, "How do you get your husband to serve drinks?" or, when you ring your bell, "He really comes when you ring?! How do you manage that?" Now the ball is in your court and you have the option of telling a little or a lot. My own strategy has always been to matter of factly say, "Well, we have what is known as a female-led marriage. elliot prefers to do as he is told at home."

Recently, this has often brought the response, "Like 50 Shades of Grey but in reverse." A dreadful book but it has mainstreamed the idea of power exchange. From there the conversation usually flows quite easily. As elliot is in earshot he hears me describe our arrangement and, when I ring for him next, my guest usually looks at him in an entirely new light. Which is great fun.

Before Mady arrived I had a couple of close girlfriends who enjoyed more than a description of elliot's submission. Once they were "in the club" I was delighted to have elliot serve in a more overt way. While I am not a big fan of the "sissy maid" look - although this "lockable" maid's uniform is quite cute - but a nice pleated skirt, white long sleeved blouse (sheer enough to show off his pretty  longline bra) and a cute white waist apron seemed to amuse my friend. So did watching elliot be sent to his corner and a few times, watching me punish elliot. And it certainly made things more interesting when I would say, "Jenny is coming over on Friday."

The variations on this sort of wonderfully ritualistic combination of cross-dressing, service and humiliation are endless.