Thursday, 29 March 2018

Can a Female Led Relationship be public?

A question I am often asked about FLRs is:

Can a Female Led Relationship be public?


It is an interesting question because it begins with the premise that the nature of relationships, in general, is public. If you see a couple walking down the street or in a store how can you tell who is "in charge". Which is the dominant partner? Generally, it is pretty much impossible to tell. In fact, even if you asked many couples, they would not really know how to answer because most couples never consciously make a decision as to which partner will lead.

Even with friends, the nuts and bolts of a marriage are seldom well understood outside that marriage. There is an element of privacy which almost every couple enjoys.

However, there are also assumptions made which may be mildly annoying and which a dominant wife and her adoring husband may wish to contradict. There may also be a bit of fun to be had, and some usefully humbling experience for an obedient husband, when a wife decides to assert her authority in public. Whether it is in a shopping mall or at dinner with friends or at a public event, a well trained husband will accept the fact his wife may make a public display of her dominance and his submission.

In our little town, elliot's position is, I gather, well understood. At least the women know. Oddly, I suspect very few of our male neighbours have any idea. Men don't really pick up the signals and, if they do, they will tend to see elliot's obvious submissiveness in terms of my being "bossy". (Which, of course, I am but that really isn't the point.) However, elliot's obedience is often remarked on as I go about my shopping. I have actually had sales clerks, from quite young girls to older, mature women, comment as elliot stands holding my bag and the clothes I want to try on. "What a lovely man." or "How do you manage to have your husband take such good care of you?" And, if asked, I am perfectly willing to say something like, "He does what he's told...or else."

One delightful girl of about twenty-five who was showing me dresses and asked about elliot, on receiving my stock response, cheekily asked, "Or else, what?" I answered, "Well it depends on what he has done; but he knows he'll be punished. Maybe time in his corner, maybe a good spanking or maybe something a little more pointed."

"You put him in a corner?" the girl asked smiling but incredulously. "Really?"

"Really." I said. "Naked."

"I don't believe you." said the girl.

elliot had been a bit impatient earlier and I was planning corner time for him in any event. There was a spare dressing room and the shop was empty.

"Come with me. You won't be shocked with a little nudity, will you?" I said to the shopgirl who shook her head. "elliot, you were a bit rude back in the grocery store. Come in here."

Fortunately, it was quite a large dressing room.

"Darling, put my bag and those clothes down on the divan. Then undress. You can do your corner time right here." As I said this I reached up under my skirt and slipped off my panties. elliot quickly stripped and was naked save for his cock cage in seconds. Without a word he took my panties and headed to the far corner. He placed my panties in position in the corner and pressed his nose against the gusset. "He'll stay like that until I tell him to stop."

Yes, the shopgirl's eyes were wide as saucers as we closed the curtain on elliot. "That is amazing..." she sputtered.

"Not really, dear. That is years of training and obedience," I said.

"My boyfriend would never do that," said the girl.

"You might be surprised. A firm hand, chastity, a cage and almost any man will learn to obey. But it does take a bit of work and you have to be firm. Spare the rod, spoil the husband." I said with a smile. I spent a happy twenty minutes trying on dresses, selected one, paid for it and said, "Well, let's see how elliot has made out."

We walked back into the dressing room and, of course, elliot was still in his temporary corner.

"You're finished now elliot. Bring me back my panties and get dressed." elliot did what he was told with a flourish. He knelt as he presented me my panties. "Thank you dear. Now hurry up and get dressed...I'd like to get home."

"Yes, Ma'am," said elliot.

"Amazing," said the shopgirl. "Please come back soon."

"Oh, I will. It will be handy to have a place to discipline elliot on the off chance he's naughty."

And I have used that little dress store several times.

So elliot's position is not a secret. In fact, he is a somewhat familiar sight holding my bag and whatever I am looking at or have already purchased. The fact that I tell him, rather than ask him, to do things is also a fairly public manifestation of our relative positions.

However, beyond this sort of quasi-public display, I prefer to be discreet. Frankly, my marriage, home life, bedtime pleasures are all my own business. And for other reasons, in the business world, I give elliot free rein and we present as a very conventional couple albeit one where the husband is unfailingly polite and considerate to his wife - something not all the business couples we deal with quite manage.

In our little church our pastor is entirely aware having taken Mady's private vows of obedience to me. Of course, I lead our party to our pew and elliot waits until Mady and I have seated ourselves. However, I put the offering in the collection plate. In a small community this is noticed. [Not to mention Mady's change in status from maid to maid/companion.]

So, as a rule, while I make no attempt to hide the fact I am in charge, I also don't spend a lot of time advertising that fact. The key part of an FLR is the R. It is a relationship. It has a public face and a private one. It is my decision as to how much to disclose and, frankly, how much is no one's business but my own. As our dress shop encounter illustrates, elliot does what he is told.

------

If you are thinking of taking control of your marriage or asking your wife to put you in your place, you may want to read a few of our books or buy a cock cage or ball stretching weights:


Books you might like:
The Art of the Maid
Mady's Favourite Book
Dominant Woman 
Feminine Superiority in Art
Obedient Husband
Effortless Female Superiority in a Loving Marriage
See all our books at my Amazon Author Page here Remember Amazon Prime Customers and Books Unlimited Customers can down load all my books FREE

You can order a cock cage for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recomend starting with a relatively inexpensive silicone cage for fit and obedience training. Order here.







There is really nothing more excitingly humiliating than pushing this up into your husband and teasing him with the remote. A
remote controlled, vibrating, butt plug/prostate massager should be in every dominant wife's toy box.








You can order ball stretcher for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recommend starting with a fairly light stretcher. Make sure you measure the ball sack circumference. You want the stretcher to fit snugly just above the testicles. Order here.






Saturday, 24 March 2018

How does sex work in a Female Led Relationship

Female led relationship, dominant wife, submissive husband
Here is another question about female led relationships I am asked a lot:

How does sex work in a Female Led Relationship?


Many of the dominant wives I know and am in correspondence with thoroughly enjoy sex. They love the sensation of being caressed, kissed and made love to. In fact, one reason some women are reluctant to take charge of their marriage or relationship is they are worried that their mostly satisfying sex life will be bent out of shape.

In fact, what tends to happen when a woman takes charge is that she gets a lot more of what she enjoys in the bedroom and nothing she does not want. Better still, she controls the timing and the sort of sex the couple will be having.

Obviously, every couple will be different but the core of a female led relationship is that the wife's authority is absolute. Which can have some wonderful effects in the bedroom. Let me give you an example: while I only want penetrative sex occasionally, when I do I very much enjoy having elliot lick me until I am very close and then slide his lovely little cock into me. But here is the delightful part, I have nipple trained him so he knows he is not allowed to come unless and until I give his nipples a good, firm, nails out, pinch. Which I almost never do because I am not such a big fan of his ejaculating in my pussy. So, I have the delight of a good, hard man slipping in and out and then, when I am satisfied or when I want to push myself over my edge privately all I need to do is say, "Out." and push up on his hips. If I want to finish in private I simply say, "Corner" and elliot will take a pair of my panties and his usually throbbing erection off to his corner to listen, but not look, as I finish. (I'll leave him there until he is soft enough to be locked back in his cock cage.)

Of course, most of the time I leave elliot locked and simply enjoy his oral attentions. I like him to focus entirely on my pleasure. Reducing his distractions was initially accomplished with a blindfold and a set of high quality in ear headphones. The brilliant thing with the headphones is that elliot hears what I want him to hear as he pleasures me. Usually that is just very calming music or even just waves against the shore. Although sometimes I will record my own voice telling him just what to do and what a good little pussy licker he is. Recently, I added a couple of hoods. He still has the headphones in but the leather hood is wonderfully isolating and the latex hood fits incredibly snugly. Whenever elliot sees his blindfold or hood laid out before bed he knows he will be at my service for an hour or two. (And it is particularly fun to have Mady lock him in his hood and lead him to my bed.)

While I am not a huge fan of penetrative sex, Mady thoroughly enjoys feeling full from time to time. Unfortunately, while in fact, elliot is a perfectly normal size, his little cock is not quite what she is looking for on such occasions. So she borrows our pretty strap-on harness and finds a dil that is more to her liking: she often uses the big, black, cock I sometimes peg elliot with. But that is only eight inches and Mady thinks it might be fun to enjoy ten inches. I can't imagine.

The strap-on harness goes right over elliot's caged little cock. He has to lick Mady until she is ready and then, very gently, ease the strap-on into her. She'll often straddle him to get just the right sensation. Or she'll have him on top and use a little riding crop to control his tempo. Again, elliot may enjoy the delights of pleasuring a young woman but he remains securely locked up.

Having a submissive male use a strap-on for your pleasure is fun for you and a very basic reminder to your husband or boyfriend that there really is only one sexuality in your relationship: yours. He is there to give you pleasure and to do what he is told.

That is the key. In a female led relationship, in the bedroom as everywhere else, the male does what he is told. If you want your nipples sucked for an hour, or a back rub for as long as you want it to last, that is exactly what you will get. Once a male has been broken into his submissive position, he will begin to recognize that such sexual pleasure or release he might get is entirely up to you. Most men are more than bright enough to realize that the only way they will have any chance of pleasure is if his lady is entirely satisfied.

------

If you are thinking of taking control of your marriage or asking your wife to put you in your place, you may want to read a few of our books or buy a cock cage or ball stretching weights:


Books you might like:
The Art of the Maid
Mady's Favourite Book
Dominant Woman 
Feminine Superiority in Art
Obedient Husband
Effortless Female Superiority in a Loving Marriage
See all our books at my Amazon Author Page here Remember Amazon Prime Customers and Books Unlimited Customers can down load all my books FREE

You can order a cock cage for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recomend starting with a relatively inexpensive silicone cage for fit and obedience training. Order here.








You can order ball stretcher for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recommend starting with a fairly light stretcher. Make sure you measure the ball sack circumference. You want the stretcher to fit snugly just above the testicles. Order here.










Sunday, 18 March 2018

Retro Fetish

retro fetish, stockings, corset, bootsAt our house the 1950's are never really over. I like a nice firm corset and I require Mady my maid to be corseted during the day and tight-laced for evening service.

I am less enthusiastic about high heeled, tall, lace up leather boots but I think they can look very pretty.

elliot finds vintage fetish and lingerie magazines and turns them into Kindle ebooks. We run free promotions from time to time and this weekend we have an interesting little magazine called Fantastique on promotion. It certainly stiffened elliot in his little cage when he first found it.

You can get your copy here 

Wednesday, 7 March 2018

A Free Escort Book

Regular readers know that I have an interest in the world of mistresses, courtesans and high-end escorts. I have done literally hundreds of interviews with elegant women and delightful ingénues who have understood how money and sex are often profitably intertwined.

For a few more hours my interview with Jane, who supports her art making with a deliciously off-beat escorting life is free at Amazon: amzn.to/2oLWRXE.

Enjoy!

Tuesday, 6 March 2018

Do submissive husbands need maintenance?

Another question I am asked a lot:

Do submissive husbands need maintenance?


In some of the domwife literature wives routinely spank or whip their husbands once a week or so just to remind them of their place. At the beginning of an FLR this might make some sense and the expression, "Spare the rod, spoil the husband." is certainly true. The trouble is that "routine" can quickly become pretty boring.

There is no question that husbands do need to be reminded of their place, their submission and the fact that they have surrendered to their wives. A routine spanking is a good reminder but it is important to "mix it up" a bit. A man who knows that of a Saturday evening he will be put through his paces before kneeling to orally pleasure his wife is a happy man. Just how he is put through those paces is where a dominant wife needs to use her imagination.

A good, brisk hair brushing is always an excellent reminder for a husband. Having a "special" hair brush, preferably wooden and fairly heavy which you can leave out on the dresser on "maintenance days" will create the anticipation which is so important for a submissive's focus.

There is, of course, much debate as to which particular hairbrush to use. Oval or square? In one sense it does not matter because the real event is not the spanking itself but rather the fact your husband is prepared to accept that he has to pull down his pants and lie across your lap. However, being able to pick the oval for more intensity or the square for an overall warming is bound to keep your husband guessing as to his fate. Best of all, unlike many of the other dominant wife tools, you can leave a hairbrush lying around the house with no one the wiser.

Thinking beyond the quick spanking and you are done for the week scenario - and frankly, every dominant wife should be thinking about this - what can a wife do to remind her husband of his place. Of course you can have him do the household chores - men are actually quite capable of vacuuming, doing the laundry, cleaning the toilet and dusting generally. However, these days, many men see that as just part of a marriage between equals. Not quite the message you want.

Some dominant wives will dress their husbands in elaborate maids outfits
when it is time for those husbands to get the housework done. Which, while it is great for reminding him of his place, can get in the way of actually getting the housework done to your satisfaction. Elaborate satin maid's outfits with clever corseting and high heels might be fun but it isn't very practical.

On the other hand, dressing your husband in a more practical, feminine outfit as he undertakes traditionally female tasks can be an excellent bit of humiliation. But what to have him wear? While a pretty pink set of shorts and cami top is great when he is rinsing out your hand washing or dusting your make-up table - and so very sexy, especially if he is in his cock cage - you may want a bit more coverage when you have him vacuuming or running loads of laundry. A simple, cheap, full coverage dress with the white cuffs and collar of a ladies maid can be a practical solution for your husband's attire when he is doing his housework.

Now, you want him working, not primping which means making sure his under fashions are nothing exciting. A good pair of high waisted control panties in plain beige will give his hips a little feminine shape and keep his cock - caged or uncaged - out of the way.  On top? Well a nice padded sports bra, in beige again, will fill out the bodice without getting in the way of his work. If you want him a bit fuller on top, a couple of ziplock bags filled with a bit of warm water will add a bit of shape to his bra. (Yes you can buy him breast forms but, honestly, until you have decided what size he should be when he's doing the housework, that is more of an investment than you really need to make.)

A good deal of reminding him of his place is about not having to tell him to do things but rather putting him into a position where he knows what he is supposed to do. If he sees his little shorts and cami outfit laid out, he knows he will be doing your hand washing and dusting, polishing, and generally cleaning your vanity, your bathroom and such like. Dress and functional underwear means an hour or three of housework. You can pin his list to the sleeve.

Critically, as soon as he sees one of his housework outfits laid out he knows that, until he has completed whatever tasks you've set, he'll be in his pretty outfit.

I've talked about cock cages more than enough. They are certainly a very desirable element to a FLR and a man whose cock is locked up is reminded pretty much every minute that his wife is very much in charge. But a cock cage is, ideally, something of a constant in a wife led marriage. A baseline as it were. What if you want to give him another reminder which is not so "every day"?

I will be writing about the pleasures of pegging in another post but, in anticipation of that, I have to say one of the most satisfactory toys I have ever bought for elliot's continued training is a remote controlled, vibrating, butt plug/prostate massager. elliot knows he will be dribbling when he see this on his dressing table and Mady arrives with a bit of lube.

It takes a bit of work to get this all the way into elliots little hole but, once it is there it is not going anywhere. Then the fun begins. First off, once he gets used to it, elliot can walk around, do his work, take care of his chores and generally get on with his day. But, every once in a while I will turn the vibrations on. If I want elliot to dribble I leave it on a fairly low setting for ten or fifteen minutes. He'll make a mess in his cage. But you can also turn up the vibes which produces an entirely different sensation.

For a submissive husband, having a vibrating butt plug pushed up his bottom and then having to put on pretty, but functional under wear and a cute dress to get on with the house cleaning knowing that he's seen a hairbrush in a strategic location leaves no doubt as to his position. Which is perfect and just the way it should be.

Is it maintenance? Of a sort. But it is also a great deal of fun.



Sunday, 25 February 2018

How Can I get my Wife to become the dominant partner in our Marriage

I get this question in my email regularly:

How Can I get my Wife to become the dominant partner in our Marriage?


The short answer is that in most marriages the wife already is the dominant partner. But female dominance is quite subtle and male perception is quite coarse. Submissive men tend to want the trappings of dominance along with simply doing what they are told. Very few women will naturally gravitate towards cock cages, black leather lingerie, whips, chains, male chastity and a good old fashioned whipping for even minor transgressions. In fact, as many of my male correspondents have indicated, their wives' reaction to even the suggestion of such things is often appalled shock and bewilderment.

Reading around the internet the main suggestion for men who wish to become the submissive partner in their marriage is to take it all very slowly and hope their wives will, somehow, come around. I am very sceptical about this approach. It seems to assume that women will suddenly realize what their husband wants/craves and give it to him. And, worse, it is an approach all about the husband's needs rather than the wife's desires.

A more fruitful approach puts a husband's submissive needs within the bigger context of a marriage. It asks the simple question, what do wives want? From that starting point, a husband can link his submissive needs to his wife's desires. To do that a husband, as he should, needs to identify and understand those desires. And he has to understand that women have a very different perspective on their marriage than men do. Oddly, taking that first step is also the first step in creating a female led marriage.

What women want in a marriage will obviously vary from wife to wife but here are a few things: a good marriage, security, activity, nice things, children, fidelity, partnership, faith, respect, romance, passion. You'll notice that "hot sex" or the right to paddle hubby when he's been naughty are not on that list. Suggesting to your wife that sex would be better if you were submissive is unlikely to persuade her. Because, for many women, sex - hot or otherwise - is the result of having other desires met rather than a thing in itself. It is not that women are anti-sex, it is, rather, that sex does not occupy the central position it does for men.

Women generally have a tendency to try to "help". They want to make it easier and better for their husbands to be good husbands, fathers, lovers. Again, not every wife, but most, will pay more attention to ideas about helping their husband and their marriage.

Now, put these things together. A set of unselfish wants and the desire to help. For a man wanting his wife to led their marriage, the situation becomes a lot clearer. While asking for discipline directly simply suggests to a wife that her husband has been looking at way too much porn, talking about stress and a need to feel secure in order to reach particular goals will engage her interest.

The fact is that a good, brisk, caning - as well as being painful - will release endorphins which create a tremendous sense of well being and banish stress. After a hard day at the office, coming home to a structured, disciplined, environment where a husband does not have to make many decisions and simply does what he is told is a huge gift and one which many wives would be more than willing to give. If from time to time, whether for a particular bit of bad behaviour or simply because a husband is a bit grumpy or prickly, a wife decides a paddling or a caning is in order, she'll know she's doing it "for his own good".

Similarly with decision making. In many marriages the wife is, in fact, in charge. She sets the household agenda, writes up the "honey do" list, makes social arrangements. Over time husbands become quite used to having to get their wife's OK to go and play golf or have a drink after work. While this may not be formally acknowledged, every time a man says, "I'll just check with my wife." he is recognizing that she, not he, makes a variety of decisions which directly effect his life. It is a rather short step from "checking with my wife" to asking your wife for permission.

Once a wife decides that leading her marriage is good for her husband and good for her marriage she will be far more inclined to learn about her new role as a dominant wife. But, for Heavens sake, don't inundate her with how to manuals. In fact, a "how to" manual in the early days may be just the wrong thing. Most women like to understand the point of what they are doing well before they start reading up on the "correct" way to cane a man and/or pegging technique. Your wife will want to know "why" caning you or pegging you or keeping you in a cock cage is good for you and, more important, good for her marriage and her life. Men love "how to" manuals, women not so much.

Men have to understand that women are going to take baby steps. While a man might be able to persuade his wife to give him a hair brushing as part of a sexy time scenario, that would be a one-off event and not something which will really meet a submissive husband's needs. Long before physical correction becomes part of a marriage, a wife has be become comfortable with the idea that she can tell her husband what to do and that he will accept (and welcome) consequences in the event he does not do what he is told.

Yesterday, at our house, there was a simple example. I wanted my boots polished and that is one of the things elliot, rather than Mady, does. Critically, I did not "ask" elliot to polish my boots, I told him to polish my boots. Telling rather than asking is a very simple, very effective, way for a dominant wife to assert her authority and a submissive husband to accept his position. Amusingly, it works just as well in public: when elliot and I go shopping I will often say, "Hold my bag." and he will suffer the minor humiliation of carrying my handbag as I go about my business. And he knows his place well enough that he will continue to carry my bag until I tell him to give it back. That could be up and down the main street for and hour or through a shopping mall or at the department store cosmetics counter. I love my bags but I also like to have both hands free.

Plus, and here is where I am very much like most other wives, I think it is very good for my hard driving, ambitious, alpha elliot to be required to carry my handbag from store to store and endure the bemused looks of the shopgirls and the other ladies, not to mention men, as he demonstrates his obedience. It is a simple thing but lightly humiliating and it has never ceased to make elliot swell in his little cage. He is excited by serving me in public and that rush of excitment is very, very good for my dear husband - if a bit uncomfortable.

So, gentlemen, if you want to serve your wives (and you should) open the conversation lightly and remember that most wives would do anything to make their marriage a success and their husbands happy, fulfilled men who revel in their place on their knees before their wives. Just make sure that you align your submission with your wife's goals. She will thank you for it and, if you are lucky, let you carry her purse next time you're shopping. If she does you are well on your way to the pleasures of a female led relationship.

Enjoy!

------

If you are thinking of taking control of your marriage or asking your wife to put you in your place, you may want to read a few of our books or buy a cock cage or ball stretching weights:


Books you might like:
The Art of the Maid
Mady's Favourite Book
Dominant Woman 
Feminine Superiority in Art
Obedient Husband
Effortless Female Superiority in a Loving Marriage
See all our books at my Amazon Author Page here Remember Amazon Prime Customers and Books Unlimited Customers can down load all my books FREE

You can order a cock cage for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recomend starting with a relatively inexpensive silicone cage for fit and obedience training. Order here.








You can order ball stretcher for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recommend starting with a fairly light stretcher. Make sure you measure the ball sack circumference. You want the stretcher to fit snugly just above the testicles. Order here.





Thursday, 22 February 2018

Why Do Men Thrive in Female Led Relationships?

This is a question I am often asked:

Why Do Men Thrive in Female Led Relationships?


Men thrive in female led relationships because even the most alpha man is most comfortable being submissive to the woman he loves. It may seem odd at first but the fact is that the entire ritual of courting and marriage are based on the subordination of the boyfriend/husband to his girlfriend/wife. Whether this subordination is made explicit is up to the woman, as is virtually everything else.

Females led most relationships simply because we set the expectations and the rules. Plus, and this is critical, after the first fevered weeks, we also set the sexual agenda. Long before my marriage became officially "female led" I was in control of our sexual life. For many women, controlling the sexual activity in a marriage is unconscious; but most women restrict their husband's sexual access from a very early stage. He may want sex three times a day, every day, but very few wives are willing to accommodate this sort of sexual gluttony.

Even young wives begin to shape their husbands' sexual expression. Making sex "special" and not "every day" is a beginning. Using sex as a reward - the blow job for the completion of the honey-do list - and limiting penetration to a few times a month gradually transfers sexual control to the wife. A horny husband is an attentive husband is a very good place to begin a marriage. It is also a very good place to begin training a husband because, and here is a tiny secret, while men may think they want sex all the time, if they are allowed to have sex all the time they quickly lose their edge. So, usually from quite early in a marriage, even a woman who does not think of herself as a dominant wife will take charge in the bedroom.

Now there is a wonderful myth about 50's housewives who were terribly submissive and let their husbands do what they wanted. I say myth because the actual research on sexuality during the period suggested many wives retreated into "frigidity" rather than service their husband's unchecked sexual demands. In fact, many of these so called "frigid" women were simply women whose own sexual needs were suppressed and who, naturally enough, closed down sexually. And many women who were sexually compliant were only giving their husbands what they wanted from a sense of duty or, sadly, fear. It was not a happy situation for wives but it was also not ideal for husbands.

The fact is that it is very stressful for men to constantly feel pressured to be sexually assertive. And it becomes more stressful as they get older. While teenage males, hormones coursing, are capable of erections and ejaculations pretty much on demand and over and over, by the time a man is thirty this is not at all sustainable. However, many men either don't know this or are in denial. Worse, many men have huge ego investments in their sexual potency. If they feel they can't "get it up" they take a huge ego hit.

As women began to understand their sexual needs more clearly and as they became more confident about the actual nuts and bolts of sex many women moved well beyond the "lie back and think of England" approach to sex. Instead of sex being a rather unpleasant "duty" it became fun and a huge source of pleasure. But, and this is one of the springboards for female led marriages, for women to really enjoy sex they had to teach their partners and, in fact, learn to control their partners. All too often a husband took care of his own needs and was done before his wife was anywhere near ready. So, for some women, the first step towards a female led marriage was simply telling their husbands to slow down so both partners could enjoy themselves.

That simple request could be transformative. All of a sudden men found that racing to ejaculate was not at all what pleased their wives. And they discovered that their wives could actually enjoy sex and want sex but sex of a very different sort. Slower, gentler, more aware and more intense. By taking a lead wives were able to get what they wanted and, as importantly, move their husbands away from a purely male perspective on sex. Different women managed this different ways but, as I detailed in my answer on whether male chastity is necessary in a female led marriage, this often entails taking control of a man's ejaculations.

When a man gives up his "right" to ejaculate without his wife's permission and, sometimes, assistance he is, in fact, stepping away from an old conception of the masculine as being deeply independent. He is accepting a new sexual role. A role in which he can relax because he does not have to pretend that he is in charge. As the relationship evolves, ejaculation itself may be separated from the couple's increasingly female focused sexuality. A man's "need" to ejaculate is vastly over estimated and a clever wife can often train her husband to come in a tissue, once a week, under her supervision. The rest of the time, if she desires, his oral attentions and, if she enjoys penetration, his hard but obedient cock are all that are required.

Once a man realizes that he is no longer in charge of the couple's sexuality or, in fact, his own ejaculations, he may be a bit bewildered but he is also relieved of performance anxiety. Other than being hard when his wife wants to fuck him, he becomes the subject of her attentions rather than feeling obliged to initiate sex. And he can focus on how best to please his wife without thinking about his own pleasure because he knows that he will almost never be allowed to ejaculate or orgasm while pleasuring his wife. While this is frustrating at first, men are simple creatures and will soon accept their wife's complete control of the couple's sexuality. Better still, because the now dominant wife only has sex when she wants it and how she wants it the couple will tend to be a lot more sexually content.

Even if female leadership stops at the bedroom door, a man who becomes sexually submissive to his wife will find that his own sexuality, his own sense of his masculinity, will be transformed. Instead of having to carry the weight of conventional male expectations, he simply needs to do as he is told and both he and his wife will be delighted.

Of course, many female led relationships go well past the bedroom door with a husband quickly becoming submissive and obedient to his wife in most or all aspects of the relationship. Which has huge benefits. Too many couples pretend that they are equal partnerships when, in fact, at home and socially, the wife - as she has been pretty much forever - is in charge. But instead of the wife essentially manipulating her husband covertly, in a female led relationship the husband understands he is to do what he is told. If he doesn't? Well every dominant wife has stories about how she has had to correct her husband. Whether she sends him to his corner, puts him in bra and girdle for a few days, locks up his balls in a spiked cage for a week or simply gets out the bath brush, a husband's sweet submission needs to be re-enforced with punishments from time to time. However, over time, a happy husband learns that his life is calmer, more exciting and much easier, if he simply accepts his place at his wife's feet.

Or so elliot tells me.

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If you are thinking of taking control of your marriage or asking your wife to put you in your place, you may want to read a few of our books or buy a cock cage or ball stretching weights:


Books you might like:
The Art of the Maid
Mady's Favourite Book
Dominant Woman 
Feminine Superiority in Art
Obedient Husband
Effortless Female Superiority in a Loving Marriage
See all our books at my Amazon Author Page here Remember Amazon Prime Customers and Books Unlimited Customers can down load all my books FREE

You can order a cock cage for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recomend starting with a relatively inexpensive silicone cage for fit and obedience training. Order here.








You can order ball stretcher for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recommend starting with a fairly light stretcher. Make sure you measure the ball sack circumference. You want the stretcher to fit snugly just above the testicles. Order here.