Wednesday, 29 January 2020

Wife on Top

dominant wife, submissive husband, pegging, crossdressing, male chastity
Regular readers on this blog will have noticed that I have published a number of letters from women who have taken charge of their marriage.

Wife on Top is a collection of those letters in one Kindle ebook published today.

Publication of Wife on Top clears the deck for my own book on how to have a female led relationship, how to be a dominant wife and how best to subjugate and discipline a boyfriend or husband.

What I have been finding as I read and spend time on the internet is that the basic concepts of female leadership in marriage, the need to discipline and correct husbands, the desirability of male chastity and ejaculation control, are all becoming more mainstream. It is subtle but many women have realized that mere equality does not work for them, at least no in marriage. Instead, the overt submission of a fiance or eventual husband has become the new gold standard.

This is particularly true in the bedroom where more and more women are demanding their right to sexual gratification in preference to their husband's base urges. More and more women are locking down their husband's cocks  and adopting the principles of a single, female, cycle driven, sexuality for their marriage.

The stories in Wife on Top are meant to guide and inspire wives as they asset their feminine authority and husbands as they accept their need to submit and obey.

Monday, 27 January 2020

New Book for Bondage Lovers

I had an amazing experience interviewing Gillian Simpkins about her experience as a fetish photographer's assistant and mistress. Miss Simpkins is a very pretty girl and she has a lovely young maid, Imogene. Who likes bondage and girls in that order.

I have the feeling Mady will want Miss Simpkins and, especially, Imogene to become regular visitors.

I have no doubt elliot would be please with that arrangement as well. However, Miss Simpkins has her patron to attend to and photoshoots with lovely young models to arrange. Plus working in the used book store and keeping up her mistress glossiness.

But she seems to be doing very well.

You can see the book at Amazon. Here is a short excerpt:


I arrived at the outer door, keyed in the code, went to the inner door, keyed in the code and shoved my worldly possessions into the studio. I looked around.

Over in the photo studio space there was a girl in a corset and stockings with her arms manacled above her head. Paul was happily taking pictures and the dark haired girl was posing as hard as she could in her restraints. What do you do?

I decided to do nothing. I pushed my boxes into the studio and walked over to where Paul was engrossed with what looked like a film camera.

“Mr. Livingston, how long have you had that poor girl chained up?” I said with what I hope was a laugh in my voice.

“About half an hour Miss. I’m Jules. I’ve worked with Paul before. This is the easy part,” said the trussed up girl. “But the money is great. Are you doing a shoot?”

“Not today,” I replied. “Paul needed a stylist. I’m it.”

Somehow it seemed perfectly normal to be chatting to a woman in a black corset, heels, and, on closer inspection, vintage stockings and shackled to a pillar in a space I was moving into. Which was because Paul was so absolutely normal. He was, matter of factly, snapping pictures.

“Miss Simpkins!” he said. “So glad you’re here. Could you just lower the left cup of Jules’ corset so I can shoot her nipple. It’s fine, I have the consent right here.”

“Totally fine Paul, and a lot more fun to have a pretty girl strip me.”

We spent the next hour making Jules increasingly naked and more than a little uncomfortable.
As I hoisted her arms behind her and pulled down her panties to reveal a luxurious 1950’s bush, Jules kept up a steady stream of conversation.

“Really Paul, you’d make much more money if you stuffed something up my pussy,” She said at one point.

“Not in it for the money Jules. In it for the style and the style says we barely see your pussy,” said Paul to my surprise. “This is all about a damsel in distress; but she mostly keeps her modesty.”
Which was somewhat true if you ignore her breasts, the nipples of which Paul had had me clip twenty minutes before. And nothing mild like the adjustable clips you see in sex shops – or I saw once – rather full on bulldog clips with her nipples pushed into the gap. This was not hardcore but it was serious. I’d attached her to a gym horse looking ready for a flogging. I was really hoping Paul would not ask me to lay on the strokes. He didn’t. A dozen close ups later and we were done.

“Miss Simpkins, set a kettle to boil and you’ll find tea in the cupboard. You did beautifully, Jules.”
I’d unstrapped Jules and brought her a robe.

“It was fun Paul,” said Jules unconsciously rubbing her clipped and swollen nipples under the robe. “It always is. And now you have an assistant.”

“I do.”

“Will she be…”

“Not today Jules. In future, perhaps,” said Paul.

“Well then, still my turn,” said Jules and she dropped to her knees in front of Paul, took his cock out of his nicely pleated wool trousers, and got to work sucking. She didn’t even take the clips off her nipples.

As I made tea, I could see her head bobbing up and down and, in a couple of minutes, just when the tea was done, so was Paul.

“Thank you, dear Jules,” he said. “Now, tea?”

“In a moment Paul, I’ll just go and rinse.”

And off she trotted to the bathroom entirely unconcerned that she’d just given her photographer a very public blow job.

I brought the tea to the coffee table where Paul had been so recently serviced.

“Really?” I said.

“Mostly,” said Paul. “I make it very worth their while.”

“Then whatever do you want me for?” I asked genuinely perplexed.

“I need to stop. I still want to shoot for my collection but I can’t afford the possibility that one of these girls is going to turn on me. Not Jules, but one of them will eventually and that will cost me a lot of money and a good deal of reputation,” he said.

Thursday, 23 January 2020

The Mistress Option

Mady had two girlfriends come to stay just after New Years. We had great fun dressing elliot as a maid of all work and having him serve the ladies at lunch and for cocktails and dinner. Needless to say the girls were both amazed and eventually amused as Mady and I put elliot through his paces.

His humiliation was enhanced when, each afternoon, he was required to submit to a punishment: the first day it was a good hard shower brushing because he had stared just a little too hard as Chriss - one of the girls - very ample chest. He had to lift his maid's skirt and pull down his frilly rumba panties before I gave him a lecture about respecting women and then two dozen good swats.

The next day Mady wanted to show her friends how easy it was to make a man ejaculate even when he is locked in a chastity cage. She bent him over a cane backed chair with a saucer below his imprisoned cock flipped his skirt up and pushed his remote-controlled prostate massager up his backdoor. It only took a few minutes before he was dripping ejaculate onto the saucer. And, of course, when he was drained he had to drink up his mess. The girls were mesmerized.

The last day they were with us, Mady and I thought they should have a bit of fun. First, each girl practised with a light cane on poor elliot's bruised bottom. It took a little while, and many "vocalizations" from elliot before each was able to accurately deliver her dozen strokes. "No, dear, you have to hit both cheeks otherwise you won't get the right welt pattern." Then elliot was required to thank each of the girls with his tongue before being sent to his corner. Great fun for the girls and for Mady and I. Not so much for elliot but that really doesn't matter.

I had a wonderful time as both Chriss and Amber were intelligent, pretty and polite. We had lovely dinners where the ladies dressed - which kept elliot in his role as lady's maid busy and deeply excited. All that perfect young female flesh to help groom and dress. I kept him in his little cell when he was off duty so he could think about the lovely breasts and pretty pussies he had to tend. Which meant that, after dinner we could talk very freely.

Both girls loved the idea of female dominance and both were intrigued at the idea of female led relationships and, eventually, wife led marriages. But, as Amber asked, "What do we do while we look for the right man?"

They were a bit taken aback when I said, "Have some fun, make some money, become mistresses."

"You mean like dommes?" said Chriss.

"Good Heavens, no," I said laughing. "Too risky, too boring and there is actually an upfront cost to set up a dungeon - which is what men who visit pro-dommes often expect. No, I mean mistresses in the old fashioned sense of the word. A girl kept by a wealthy older man."

"When you go to bed tonight I'll leave Miss Jay's book, Modern Mistress on your tablets," said Mady.

Which she did and both girls read the first fifty or sixty pages in bed.

The next morning we left elliot in his cell and the girls in their pretty nighties (I insist on them wearing white cotton Victorian nighties which matched Mady's) sat around the breakfast table.

"Well, girls," I said, "What did you think?"

"It all sounds great Miss Jay, but, really, in this day and age don't you think it is a little oppressive for a woman to be "kept" by a man?" said Amber...And we were off.

"Not at all," I said. "In fact, if anything, it is a huge first step towards a woman's freedom and, if she chooses, her leadership in her relationships and her marriage."

"How is sleeping with a man for money a step towards freedom?" asked Chriss. Mady smiled having heard this before.

"Chriss, the fact is that money is, in fact, power," I said settling back in my chair and sipping on a very pleasing latte. "When a man gives a woman money he is, in fact, giving her a bit of power. The opportunity to take advantage of a broader array of choices. In exchange, she gives him the pleasure of her company. Escorts have known this since pretty much forever."

"However, escorting, even at the highest end, is essentially transactional. I talk about all that in my book Avails. Lots of girls have escorted but very few of them have really understood how they can make top dollar at minimal risk," I said. "And the biggest problem with escorting is risk. Physical risk, legal risk and, frankly, moral hazard: it is very easy to become very cynical when you sleep with, to use the euphemism, even three or four men a week, much less a night. Cynical girls lose their charm very quickly which is tragic because charm lasts very much longer than youth or beauty."

"Fair enough," said Amber. "Having one man give you money for your company makes more sense but I still can't see how it is particularly liberating. You still pretty much have to sleep with the guy."

"Eventually," I said. "But not until you have made your arrangement. And that arrangement can be very liberating indeed. Have you ever been poor? I mean not knowing where your next meal is coming from poor?"

"Not really," said Amber. "My parents have a bit of money and I can always go home if stuff gets bad."

"I have," said Chriss. "It really sucks."

"And have you ever had more money than you really needed?" I asked. "Money where you could get a blowout and your nails done and buy the dress, the shoes and the bag?"

"All the same day? asked Amber.

"The same day," I replied.

Both girls shook their heads.

"I'm not surprised," I said. "Most young women, even as well educated as the two of you are, don't start earning significant money until they are in their mid-thirties and, realistically, that is usually when they really want to have kids. Soooo."

"A bit of sexual economics. Your "arm candy" years begin at about twenty and end around twenty-five or six. Now, the fact is that women are actually more beautiful in their late twenties and early thirties and if they do it right, keep becoming more interesting as they get older. But a pretty girl commands peak market price for all of six or seven years," I said. "Most girls waste those years looking for Mr. Right or chasing the entry-level jobs they think will create a payoff down the road or going to school. But, mainly, they waste the time because they can't think of what else they might be doing."

"Being kept by a wealthy older man is not a huge time commitment," I continued. "Usually an evening mid-week and, perhaps, a Saturday afternoon."

"No way," said Chriss. "That's what, maybe eight hours a week?"

"At most, dear, at most," I said.

"And you get your rent covered, pretty clothes, spa days," said Amber.

"If you negotiate well, that and lots more," I said. "Remember, the sort of man who keeps a mistress is taking home serious money. He is probably billing out his time at $500+ an hour or running a company or fixing people's teeth. A couple of thousand a month is nothing, 10K and you are beginning to be a noticeable expense. Keep reading Modern Mistress, some of the girls I talked to have really luxurious lives and they tuck money away every month."

"I flipped forward, Miss Jay, and you're right. The girls do make fabulous money sometimes," said Amber. "But how does that make me "free" if I have to put up with some guy old enough, as the saying goes, to be my father being able to have me whenever he wants?"

"Amber, you need to read the whole thing and a few of my extended interviews as well," I said. "No mistress gives her patron unlimited access. That's for escorts, sugar babies and side pieces: a mistress is none of those things nor would a suitable patron ever expect such a thing. And, truth to tell, ladies, past a certain age, most men are simply not that interested in 24/7 sex. They will be delighted to see their mistress once or twice a week."

"OK, but how does even that make me "free"?" asked Amber.

"It makes you better than "free"; it gives you actual power," I said. "Earning an allowance and treats by being a beautiful, intelligent, interested woman lets you do what you want with the rest of your time. Finish a degree, learn to trade stocks, master the PR game but with the sure knowledge that you are not going to miss a meal or be short on rent. Instead of being a "starving student" or an "unpaid intern" struggling to get by with a side gig, a mistress has the luxury of her own time to do what she wants."

"But that depends on a man," said Chriss.

"It does," I replied. "Here's a hint want us to depend on them and when we do we take control. As a mistress, you have control of a part of a man's life, as a wife you have the whole thing."

Which I left them with as I had things to do but later that afternoon Amber and Chriss came into my sitting room.

"Miss Jay, do you have a few minutes?" asked Amber.

"Of course...more questions?"

"A few," said Chriss. "We've been reading and talking and, well, ok. How is it fair that to gain any power, girls have to sleep with men who..."

"Stop right there Chriss. Girls always have huge potential power," I said. "The question is will they use it? And if they use it will they use it with any sort of strategy."

"A million years ago I would put on a pretty dress and a nice pair of heels, walk a couple of blocks to a well known steakhouse and, in no more than twenty minutes, be bought a drink or two and, if the gentleman seemed interesting, a very good steak and a bottle of wine. Yes, there were "expectations" but, no, I never felt the slightest obligation. If I was on heat I might well have taken the gentleman home, but not always. And never if I didn't want to. That, of course, was purely tactical. A near term objective as it were. But, and here is the thing, there was an older gentleman who noticed me. He could easily have bought the steakhouse with pocket change. He certainly bought a lot of girls dinner and there was no messing about. Take the dinner you went home with the man. He invited me several times and I declined. He was my first patron."

"Played hard to get," said Amber giggling.

"Not at all. Just hard to get for him. Because I wanted him."

"How could you tell?" asked Chriss.

"When elliot is out of uniform, take a look at his watch. It is one of several but it is my favourite because I gave it to him. It is not a show off's watch, white gold, no diamonds, a Patek Philippe Calatrava. My first patron wore a very similar watch but in 18k gold," I said. "Then shoes, then suit. Now, to be fair, this was when successful men dressed. Now it may be a matter of recognizing a good sweater or the right phone, but the point is the same. Men who have done well have a look. To find them you go to the places they like to go, a couple of bars, a couple of steakhouses, certain sorts of events."

"And you're saying we should not be cynical," said Chriss.

"What's cynical about wanting a very good man who can afford to keep you?" I said. "In fact, for a small, select, minority of women spending a few years as a mistress allows them to reach their full potential. Plus, for a small, select, minority of men, keeping a mistress acknowledges their own proper position as subservient to at least one woman. Even if the acknowledgement is only tacit."

"Really? said Chriss. "I am not sure how being serviced once a week by a girl young enough to be your daughter is exactly subservient."

"Because you are not seeing the whole picture," I said smiling. "First off, he is being "serviced" by a girl who is receiving a significant allowance, is likely living in a nice apartment with good furniture rent free and who, if she has negotiated cleverly, will have a wardrobe and grooming allowance. Second, a mistress, by her nature and position is "in charge" of the time her patron spends with her. She sets the rules, she decides if she will have sex and what sort of sex she'll have. A good mistress is demanding. Her patron has to satisfy her. Which is what keeps him coming back."

"That never seems to be the way it works in my relationships," said Amber.

"Of course not," I said. "You are likely dating and sleeping with boys your own age using the currency of lust and love. Which is wonderful at your age but, frankly, a bit of a waste of your time. I gather neither of you are rushing to find a husband right now."

Both girls shook their head. "Way too soon."

"So, if you decided to take the mistress option one big change you'd make is to move away from the boy/girl sex world of high school. For a mistress, sex and pleasure are part of a fantasy which her patron is buying," I said. "While patrons often think they want their mistress for sex, a clever mistress offers much more than that."

"At the same time, a mistress knows that the best sex a man is ever likely to have is with an enthusiastic, uninhibited, young woman who actually takes charge in the bedroom," I said. "And, of course, that carries right through to a female-led relationship or marriage. For a variety of reasons, even now, men think they have to take the sexual initiative. There is no good reason for that, but there it is. A smart mistress will take matters in hand as it were."

"But why would a man want that?" asked Chriss.

"Two reasons, first the sheer novelty of a pretty young girl having her wicked way with him, second, and more importantly, men take mistresses for the luxury of real relaxation. Most men who can afford a mistress are insanely busy and are making decisions all day," I said. "Knowing that for a few hours a couple of times a week there are no decisions, no real choices, is really what a patron ends up valuing most in his mistress."

"You make that sound so easy, Miss Jay," said Amber. "But, at the end of the day, a patron is still going to want to have sex."

"Indeed. Or at least that's what he thinks he wants," I said. "Men are not very subtle and they are not very good at actually knowing or articulating what they want. In fact, most men want to be listened to, teased a little, seduced and know that, if they do what they are told, the evening will end happily. For a mistress an evening will be about comfort food, a moderate amount of good wine, a sexy - but not slutty - outfit, flowers, candles and enthusiasm. A few evenings like that and a patron will wonder how he ever lived without his mistress."

"The other great benefit of being a mistress, besides the money and the freedom that money brings, is that a girl learns how to manage, take charge of a man," I said. "If I had not been a mistress there is no way I would have been able to give my darling elliot what he so desperately needed. The experience of having a non-romantic, sexual relationship with a strong, successful, man is something every girl should have. But very few girls will because they are content to drift along in peer relationships."

"OK, so let's say I wanted to try being a mistress," said Amber. "Where would I find this wonderful, wealthy, patron?"

"Well, if both of you were looking..."

"We might be," said Chriss.

"Then you'll have a great advantage. One pretty girl is not entirely safe, two and you can take care of each other," I said. "Unfortunately, the nicest way, which is to be introduced by an older lady such as myself, is not really available as I am very much a homebody. However, there is a simple rule: go where the fish are. In the little city you both live in there are, in no particular order, car shows, boat shows, gallery openings, at least one excellent book store and, as I recall, a couple of fairly high end restaurants. It is not difficult to get on the PR lists for openings. And there is nothing at all wrong with a bit of discrete advertising. And don't worry too much about age, there are plenty of men in their late thirties who would love to take a mistress if they had any clue what that was."

Amber looked a bit troubled. "Miss Jay, one thing bothers me about this. A lot of these prospective patrons are married."

"Ideally," I said. "It makes everything much simpler."

"But isn't that cheating?" asked Amber.

"It is. A mistress, however, is a realist. The fact is that men of a certain age and success often cheat. Often with disastrous consequences. A powerful man is surrounded by temptation - personal assistants, work colleagues, vendors, professionals, girls at conferences - the list is endless and involvement with any of them can lead to sexual harassment claims, long hours with the HR department and, of course, the girl falling in love with the man with all that can lead to including a very expensive divorce."

"A smart wife wants to limit her exposure to any of these consequences," I said. "Now most wives will not be lucky enough to have a Mady but, in a sense, they should welcome a young woman who has no long term designs on their husband. Most men are very discrete about their mistresses but women have a sixth sense when it comes to another woman and this poses an intelligence test. If a wife finds out about a mistress what does she do?"

"So, I will tell you one story and then I have to get on with the day. When I was about your age and was being kept by what was known as a "lumber baron", sweet man, I got a call one afternoon from his wife. She introduced herself on the phone as Mrs. X, Ken X's wife and asked if might meet for lunch the following day.

I agreed, what else could I do, and having dressed carefully, went to a very pleasant little restaurant where the maitre d' escorted me to a table where a wonderfully attractive woman of a certain age rose to greet me.

"So you're Hannah. Turn," she said making a little gesture with a perfectly manicured hand. "Oh you are just perfect. Me, thirty years ago. What a pretty dress. Sit down."

"I suppose you wonder how I know about you," said Mrs. X. "Ken has always talked in his sleep. For the last few weeks he has been saying lovely things about a girl named Hannah and two nights ago he actually said, "Time to play with Hannah Jay."


"Oh yes. It was perfect, just like Ken." said Mrs. X.

"You seem very relaxed about all this," I said to her.

"Of course, my dear. Ken has worked hard, cut down a lot of trees and treated me and the children beautifully. We are very dear friends, more than a little in love but he's at that age where he realizes the road ahead is shorter than the one behind. That bothers men. A lot. I was worried that you might be a secretary or something but a quick look at the account Ken doesn't think I know about told the story. You're his mistress! Which is wonderful but I thought we should meet. And you should call me Jean."

Quite honestly this was the last thing I expected. I was prepared to be called a hussy and a lot worse. Or for a tearful, "Please don't take my man" scene. But this was extraordinary.

"I'm delighted you approve," I said.

"Approve? My only regret is that I didn't think of the solution myself. You've put a bounce in Ken's step and he's taking things a day at a time rather than brooding over what he is going to do in retirement. But you mustn't tell him," said Jean.

"Tell him what?"

"That I know," said Jean. "I think half the fun of having a mistress is in the sneaking around, the stolen hours. Men love that sort of thing and it would take a lot of the fun out of it if Ken knew I knew and approved."

I laughed out loud. "You know him very well."

"I do," said Jean. "Being married to someone for thirty years has that effect."

"And you really don't mind?"

"Not at all. You are pretty, and nicely built if I may say so, obviously intelligent and on the payroll. Quite seriously, my great worry was that Ken would find some young girl who would think she was in love with him. That can get very messy for everyone," said Jean. "Looking at Ken's account, you are a very practical young woman."

"I've had to be," I said.

"True for most young girls," said Jean. "Now you can have a bit of fun and, if you can keep Ken interested, earn a tidy little nest egg. Something you should know is that Ken absolutely loves giving people presents. Just out of the blue."

"I've noticed that already. Very thoughtful things like a perfect hairbrush and practical things like a dozen pairs of fully fashioned stockings."

"You wear stockings! No wonder Ken enjoys you. I've always worn stockings because Ken loves them but the young girls today, if they wear hose at all, wear those awful pantihose. For a big, rough, lumberjack, Ken is actually quite smart about pretty lingerie and fine leather goods, gloves, shoes, purses, I have a closet full of really beautiful bags he picked out. In fact, maybe that is why he's taken a mistress, I already have everything I want or need."

We had a very good lunch, a bottle of good wine and a nice hug, "Take care of Ken, Hannah. He is a wonderful guy."

"It would make a better story if Jean and I had lunched monthly but we didn't. Ken kept me for a little over two years when I moved to another city," I said. "I missed him for years."

"No wonder you are such a fan of mistresshood," said Amber. "That sounds perfect."

"It was. And, interestingly, it was as a twenty-something mistress that I learned a key fact about successful, wealthy, men; more often than not they need a place in their lives where they are not under stress, don't have to make decisions, can simply do what they are told," I said. "Ken would never have thought of himself as submissive but when he came to my apartment I was completely in charge. And that grew over time. Especially as I found myself enjoying being in charge."

"About twenty years ago, elliot and I were at a party and we ran into Ken and Jean. It was one of those moments which could have gone either way but Ken marched over and said, "Hannah, you must introduce me to your husband". I did and he introduced me to his wife and not another word was said. We were simply old friends who had not seen each other for years. But I did notice that Ken watched how I led, subtly, elliot even in a completely social situation. At the end of the evening, he came back over. "You're a very lucky man, Elliot," was all he said.

Tuesday, 14 January 2020

Getting Started with a Female Led Relationship

I hope you all had a wonderful Holiday Season. We certainly did. I gave elliot two books he has been looking for for years and Mady and I let him out of his chastity cage on Christmas Eve. I'd upped his dose of Viagra a little and his not terrifically large cock was just perfect after he had spent quite a long time licking me. I didn't let him come in me and Mady had her fun with his very hard cock. She is such a naughty girl and she looked lovely as she climbed on top of elliot for Christmas treats. Again, I didn't let elliot cum in Mady either. Instead we put him in a locking long legged panti-girdle and sent him to bed. Christmas morning dawned and when Mady came in with my coffee I had her unlock poor elliot and give him a bit of a tease before his shower.

After his shower I had Mady handcuff him and then push a wonderful, remote controlled vibrator into his bottom. Then she put the girdle back on and elliot spent Christmas Day on edge. It was such fun watching the expression on his face when we flipped on the vibe. But we didn't push him over the edge. Mady had told me that she really wanted to give him a blow job as part of his Christmas and, after dinner we went to his den, handcuffed him again and Mady got to work. elliot could not believe his luck when it became evident she was going to suck him to completion. What fun!

All of which brings me to a lovely note I received from a young wife in a leafy suburb of a city in the Southern United States named Kendra,


Dear Miss Jay,

I wanted to thank you for your wonderful website and your fantastic books. When I was a little younger I read your Modern Mistress: Lead the Luxury Life You Deserve and was kept for a few years beginning in my last year in college. What fun and what nice men.

However, we all have to grow up sometime and for me that meant getting married and, eventually, having kids. Very normal. Having been a mistress I have to say gave me a slightly different perspective on men than my girlfriends had. They are all sweet and still my friends now, but they all see men like they were still in high school. Essentially, they all sort of hung back hoping that Mr. Right would, somehow, pop into their lives. Sadly, men did pop into their lives. Very unsuitable men.

I approached the whole thing very differently. I wanted a good man, a little older than I am, reasonably successful with great prospects and, most importantly, willing to follow my lead. From my experience as a mistress I realized that I liked being in charge. And, as a mistress, part of my vocation was spending time researching some of the sexual byways my patrons seemed to be interested in. One of the things I noticed was that all of my patrons, and I only had three, liked to be told what to do. In bed, but also in my apartment and even when we were out for dinner or shopping.

It was a very specific thing. I could ask them to do something and they might or might not do it, but if I told them to do something they practically purred. Now, these were very successful men, I was an expensive luxury, and they spent their days making decisions and telling other people what to do. As you have written on this blog and in your books, men need time out from always having to make decisions. A mistress gives them that time out. But a wife?

Maybe. But first I had to find the right guy. I am not one for hanging back. While I was a mistress I worked in corporate communications for a public relations firm. I accumulated a well edited  wardrobe and a reputation for being "that girl who is always wearing dresses". In fact, most of the time I wore really well-tailored suits but always with skirts. I never wore pant suits. Attractive, often pretty, but also very self-possessed. I never looked like I was trying too hard.

Part of my job was going to assorted networking events. Pretty basic where everyone is being "social" while looking out for new clients. I did at least one of these a week and enjoyed them. I am fairly tall and I have quite a nice figure - I walk a lot and swim for an hour twice a week - and with the right bra...well, I get my share of attention. The more obvious come ons I ignored but there were plenty of nice men who could hold a conversation. Usually, under the pretext of business, it was not at all difficult to arrange to meet a few days out and that is what I did.

Yes, this was calculating. But you get what you want by going after it. I must have had coffee with twenty five or so men and then drinks with half a dozen. Oddly enough, the coffees brought me in another half dozen potential clients so, even if I didn't find a husband, I was ahead of the game. Coffee was business attire, drinks I would up my game a bit. From my mistress days I had three or four "little black dresses" each of which was a tiny bit revealing in a subtle way. I have nice legs so a short skirt is never a bad choice. At the same time I have rather pretty clavicles and why not show them off in a longer but off the shoulder dress? My rule for drinks was two glasses of wine and then, no matter how well it was going, off I went.

It did not take long, a couple of months, to find several men who I enjoyed and who enjoyed me. I was in no hurry but I was also not going to waste a lot of time. Unfortunately, these days, the sorts of serious, successful men I was looking for took sex as a given once you got to a couple of dinner dates. I am, obviously, no enemy of sex; but I also am well aware that there is huge value in sex and that it should not be squandered. It was also an opportunity to see how various men responded to the idea that they would do what they were told.

I still had my very elegant, slightly "mistressy" apartment. The mistressy element was in the expensive, minimalist and quite masculine furniture. In one of your mistress books, Zoey's First Night I think a girl says "I want to be the most feminine thing in my apartment". Very much how I decorated.

I took all of three men back to my apartment. The first, well the first was a mistake. He made the assumption that if I was inviting him back after dinner I was going to be dessert. Er, no. He lasted about five minutes before I bundled him out the door. The other two were sweet. My basic test was to see if they would do as they were told without any quid pro quo.

I would pour us each a glass of wine, sit, in a rather brilliant black leather club chair and, when everyone was settled down, say, "Now, dear man, are you comfortable? Ready to please me?" They would usually nod. "Excellent, we'll get started. Stand up. Turn. Now back around. Good."

Both the boys were with me to this point but now it would get interesting.

"I want to see you naked," I said. "So just stand where you are and take off your clothes. All of them."

One man said, "Really?" and the other said "What?", I said "Yes".

One of the men, Matt, began to undress as soon as I said "Yes", the other, whose name I forget, wanted to talk about it. I said goodnight.

I married Matt. And not just because, when I lifted my skirt, pulled down my panties and said, "Get to work," he was very eager and very good, really because he did what he was told without a moment's protest. Matt was good enough at pussy licking that I was tempted to let him have his own orgasm. But I knew I had to start as I meant to finish. When I was done I pulled up my panties, let down my skirt and moved to the couch. I motioned Matt over and had him lie with his head in my lap.

"We are going to be going on several dates," I said gently sliding my long nails across his nipple. "I am going to be testing you, teasing you. Starting right now you will not cum without my permission and supervision. Do you understand?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"You have a very nice cock, Matt," I said. "From now on it is my cock. We'll see how you behave and, if you are a good boy, we might even let that cock have a bit of fun. But, for the moment, I want you to get dressed, give me a kiss and leave. I'll call you when I want to see you again."

"Yes Ma'am."

From that day 'til this that is exactly how I have trained Matt. I do have a paddle - a rather nice bamboo paddle I had Matt order me for a wedding gift - and a couple of rattan canes I gave us for our first anniversary. But, honestly, I really don't use them on Matt very often. He is naturally very obedient. I have looked at a chastity cage for him but I am not there yet.

I took Matt on our wedding night having only given him hand jobs to that point over our six month engagement. Three to be exact. But he knew that if I invited him to my apartment he would spend a good deal of his time under my skirt. Which he loved.

My girlfriends can't quite figure out how I manage to have a happy, very successful, husband who is so attentive and helpful. I will often have a couple of girlfriends over and Matt makes the snacks and serves them in a wonderfully 50's housewife sort of a way.

At home he always wears loose wrap tops - Kimono shirts they are called - and kimono capri pants and Japanese sandals. It is a perfectly androgynous look and my girlfriends joke about my not having a husband so much as a houseboy. Matt knows that I expect him to come home from work and put on his house clothes and be ready to greet me when I get back from work. I have a slightly longer commute so this works well. He's responsible for having something nice to go with a much needed after work glass of wine. We usually cook together but he is responsible for clean-up while I enjoy a few minutes of down time. Once he has done the clean up he may have some laundry or vacuuming to do. I made it very clear during our courtship that those sorts of household chores were his responsibility.

When he is done I might invite him to curl up on the couch with me to watch Netflix for a while but, right at ten, I send him to get changed for bed. I like him to wear one of his many sets of Kimono pajamas. These are nice because if I want to have him I can just tell him to wiggle out of the trousers. I come upstairs when I am ready.

I suspect that one of the reasons I am hesitant about putting a cage on Matt is that I enjoy playing with him and, once in a while, taking him. I am always on top. In two years of marriage Matt has never once taken the top position when we make love. And I have made it very clear that just because I have decided to have him he does not have permission to cum. That's a special treat. He also knows that if he somehow can't control himself our bedroom cane will remind him who is in charge. He's only lost control four or five times but a really sound caning each time has made those slips very rare.

Matt loves all this. So do I. He's told me over and over how lucky he was that I chose him. I think so too.




Dear Kendra (I wrote back),

What a lovely story. I love the fact you've figured out a house uniform for your husband. Too clever.

But what I really like is that you made a decision about the sort of man you wanted to marry and got to work finding him. All too often young women settle for what they think is available when, with a little effort, they can find a suitable man who will be only too delighted to honour and obey.

I understand your view on chastity cages. I had the same view for years. But, at a certain point, caging a man is a kindness. Self-restraint is a great thing but the poor dears are remarkably penis driven. By locking a man up you are removing temptation.

Enjoy your marriage and keep me posted,



Monday, 2 December 2019

Being Available

A commentator in the last post wrote:

"How can I earn a life to be spanked and pegged by a strict dominant woman who will make me submit to her rules and regulations?"

It is a question which comes up regularly and I think it is worth answering. I did so in the comments but I want to expand my answer a bit here.

Assuming that you are serious a couple of points: begin with being a gentleman to all the women in your life and all the women you meet. Good old fashioned manners will go a long way towards attracting an interesting woman.

Meeting women is not terribly difficult. Meeting the right women is. You are very unlikely to meet the right sort of woman in a bar or a club, much more likely to meet one at a book sale or in a vintage clothing shop. A compliment - "what a lovely coat" - gets the ball rolling. Be very polite and very deferential. "Might I join you for a coffee when you have a bit of spare time?" leave the decision with the woman where it belongs. 

Now, a real gentleman will have a personal - not business - card with just his name, email address and phone number. Making a nice presentation, with a little bow, to give a lady your card will, I will virtually guarantee, be something which has never happened to her before and therefore make you more interesting than most of the men she meets. Plus, your bow will already, suggest your submissiveness. Not a bad way to begin. 

Second, in your interactions with women generally and eligible women in particular, go out of your way to demonstrate your obedience and submission. No, don't fall to your knees...but do as you are told and saying "Yes, Miss." will surprise and delight most women.

Again, as you are meeting women, look for opportunities to serve. For example, if you have struck up a conversation in a vintage clothing shop, there is no reason not to offer to hold the clothes she is going to try on while she is in the changing room. (On a second visit, when you know each other a little and she realizes she can trust you, offering to carry her bag while she goes through the racks and also offering to carry her selections, is a lovely way to introduce any woman to the pleasures of a submissive, obedient man.)

Third, while you will likely ask any number of unsuitable women out understand that it is a submissive male's duty to make the effort. After all, unsuitable or not, girls need nice breaks whether it is for coffee or lunch or dinner. And you always pay. If she demurs, well, wait to be told what to do. But make sure you make the first move. It is the only first move a submissive man should make. Everything else, from whether to see each other again to physical intimacy to which movie to see is up to the woman. Of course, you can suggest going to dinner or to a movie but she decides where or what to see.

Fourth, if, as dates sometimes do, a woman seems interested in intimacy, make sure you let her take the lead. Especially if you are lucky enough to be invited to her bed. Your only reason to be there is her pleasure so do as you are told. Your pleasures and urges simply do not matter. (Note: if you have pleasured a woman properly and she suggests reciprocation, you need to make it clear that she has no obligation at all to attend to your needs. If she suggests a blow job after you have licked her to completion, suggest giving her a nice backrub instead.) 

Some women will love being in charge in the bedroom and that is a very good sign as to their eventual willingness to take charge of the relationship. At the same time, many women are very used to the man taking the initiative. A good way to get past this is to explain that, in these #metoo days it is very important to you to know that any physical intimacy is at her initiation. "You tell me what you want me to do."

After a few encounters, she'll realize that you are really there entirely for her pleasure and at her direction. If she is comfortable with that you are ready to move on to the hard part.

Finally, with her permission, tell her about your desires. Be prepared for her to be a little shocked, or not, but you need to be totally honest. But you do not have to be all that blunt. For example, when something goes a little bit wrong, saying something like, "I really deserve a good spanking for forgetting to put water in with the flowers" opens up the whole spanking question. Pegging is a little different as you'll have to open up the question, "I wish I could feel you in me" and then actually get all the apparatus.

Women are generally caregivers and once she understands that you need a good whipping from time to time and that you feel more comfortable and secure having been taken anally, you would be amazed at how willing many women are to meet your needs. 

Of course, and this should go without saying, you need to be all the man you can be. Working hard, earning, staying in shape and alive to the world. Part of finding the woman you want and need is being the man she will want and need. It sounds basic, but good grooming, nice clothes, good shoes and an elegant - but not needlessly expensive - watch

Remember, long before the discipline and the pegging and whatever else you need, the reality is that you have to enjoy the woman who will be in charge and, more importantly, she must enjoy you.

Good luck!!

Thursday, 28 November 2019

The Season

We live in Canada where we celebrate Thanksgiving a month and a half before our American friends but we actually have a special dinner for American Thanksgiving. Nothing complicated, just a leg of lamb, duck fat fried potatoes and, this year, an apple pie made from our own apples for dessert. It is an easy dinner and my maid Mady is off duty and joins us.

Of course, the day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday, the official kickoff for Christmas shopping. We're lucky enough that we own pretty much everything we need but, as we live in a semi-rural place it is incredibly handy to be able to buy things online and have them shipped to our door. With 30 days until Christmas I can't wait to buy a few non-necessities for Mady and elliot. Even if you don't need Amazon Prime all year, this is a great time to take advantage of their 30 day free Prime deal. And if you do you'll be able to read elliot's Kindle books and my Kindle books for free.

Even when you have pretty much all you need there are somethings which are always welcome and which a good husband will buy without being told.

Stockings: If your wife wears stockings - and I hope she does as they are so flattering - you cannot go wrong buying her a few pairs for Christmas. Now, if I had all the money in the world, I would wear Cervin silk stockings daily As I don't I just wear them for special occasions, for every day I like the Cervin non-seamed stockings.

Gloves: Leather gloves, especially long fine leather gloves are wonderful to have, I have a couple of pairs and I am always delighted to get another pair for Christmas. A spectacularly beautiful, over the elbow, Italian made glove can be a fetish in itself and, until elliot bought me these gloves a couple of years ago, I had no idea he would be so excited to be whipped while I was wearing them. Men are very strange.

Silk Slip or Night Dress: I am always delighted to find a silk nightie under the tree. Remember the cardinal rule of nighties - they have to be comfortable and that means plain. On the other hand, I like to dress Mady to keep elliot amused and aroused and a shortie nightie when she brings us coffee in the morning will ensure his little cock is hard as can be in its chastity cage.

I will add a few more shopping suggestions to this list but, right now, I have to dress for dinner and I hear my sweet Mady drawing my bath.

Wednesday, 20 November 2019


I get more than a few letters and some offer wonderful insight into female led relationships. I thought this letter from "Cindy" in Canada was an interesting take on an alternative to male chastity.


Dear Hannah,

I have read with great interest your posts on male chastity both on the honour system and using a male chastity device. I completely agree that a properly disciplined man should not be able to ejaculate without his wife's permission but I have an alternative to chastity.

I should begin by saying that we are a younger couple, very outdoorsy, into fitness and our careers. My husband, Robbie, has a high stress job and I discovered, early in our courtship, a very high sex drive. He likes sex a lot. So do I, but not nearly as much as Robbie.

Even before we were married I realized that this could be a problem and I looked around for solutions. In general, we are equal partners in our marriage which is how I prefer it. At the same time, Robbie needs to be able to come home from work and not have to make many decisions. In fact, he is rather naturally obedient and prefers to be told what to do. Which is fine by me as I like to be a bit bossy and I don't like back chat. I suppose you could say that we have a female led marriage but mainly we have a marriage where I am in charge and Robbie does what he is told.

If he doesn't he knows I am not at all shy about sending him to our room for a time out or getting out the shower brush - and how he hates the shower brush - and punishing his tight little bottom hard. But that does not happen often.

In the bedroom, I am absolutely in charge and have been since we first had sex well before we were married.

The trouble was that Robbie was so highly sexed that from about our third date he was pushing for sex. I realized that this was just his nature and that if we were going to have a successful marriage I would have to come up with a way of handling that.

Sometimes giving a man what he wants works very well and on our fifth date I invited Robbie into my apartment. He thought he was there to have sex and was incredibly excited. His lovely cock was totally erect coming in the door. I sat on my couch and he was getting ready to sit beside me.

"No, Robbie," I said pointing to a spot a couple of feet in front of me. "I want you to stand right there."

He did what he was told.

"Now, dear man, I think we are doing beautifully as a couple," I said. "You are kind, gentle, funny and you seem to be falling in love. But you are way too pushy about sex. I love being made love to but I am not going to be pressured into it. So you are just going to have to wait."

Robbie shrugged, mumbled "OK" and made a move towards the couch.

"Where do you think you're going. I told you to stand where you are. I am not done yet," I said with a little edge in my voice. "Right now I want to watch you ejaculate. Here's a tissue. Now get cracking."

Yes, it was a bit of a high risk move. He could have refused or tried to swing me around but my read of Robbie was he'd do what he was told. I was right. In a moment or two his rather large cock was out of his pants.

"Well, get on with it," I said savouring his obedience. "Just like you do at home."

Robbie got to work and in not more than a couple of minutes his cockhead turned that amazing purple colour men's cocks sometimes do and he ejaculated. I realized I'd have to get bigger tissues.

"Very good, Robbie," I said. "And good boys get treats."

I unbuttoned my blouse and unclipped my bra. "You can come over here and suck on my pretty nipples for a little while. Just leave your cock out. You are not finished."

About five minutes later, Robbie having demonstrated that he needed a bit of work on his nipple technique, I could see that his cock was getting hard again.

"Stand in front of me Robbie," I said leaving my breasts on display. "You obviously like my pretty nipples. Which is wonderful. Now I want you to ejaculate again for me. Get to work. And when you are done I want you to put your cock away, kiss me good night and go home. Without a word."

He did as he was told, made a mess on his tissue, kissed me and left silently.


The next morning, quite early, I texted him. "Thank you for a wonderful evening. Now, in your shower, I want you to think about my pretty nipples and ejaculate."

I sent him another text when I knew he was taking lunch. "Go to the washroom and make your little mess."

We were meeting for drinks after work and my sweet Robbie was positively glowing when I sat down.

"You are the sexiest woman I have ever met," he said with a smile. And here's the thing, he had stood up when I came to the table and he made it clear he was waiting for my permission to sit back down. Which I gave with a nod.

We have not looked back. I am totally in charge of his ejaculations. Three or four or sometimes five or six a day. I'll tell him or text him and sometimes I will demand a little video of his performance. Of course, when I want to have sex, I taper him off a little so he is extra eager. I've also trained him never to come in me without asking my permission and he knows I will often deny that permission.

The fact is that his cock is as entirely under my control as if it was in a cock cage. Which is what matters to me. And, of course, if I am busy or forget, well he knows that any ejaculation without my supervision and instruction and the shower brush will be bruising his bottom. I swing hard.

So, there you go. There really is more than one way to control a cock and the man it is attached to.




Dear Cindy,

How clever of you. It really is all about control. An obedient husband should not need a cage, though they are rather fun. But I love the idea of giving an oversexed man what he wants, good and hard.