The Mistress Option

Mady had two girlfriends come to stay just after New Years. We had great fun dressing elliot as a maid of all work and having him serve the ladies at lunch and for cocktails and dinner. Needless to say the girls were both amazed and eventually amused as Mady and I put elliot through his paces.

His humiliation was enhanced when, each afternoon, he was required to submit to a punishment: the first day it was a good hard shower brushing because he had stared just a little too hard as Chriss - one of the girls - very ample chest. He had to lift his maid's skirt and pull down his frilly rumba panties before I gave him a lecture about respecting women and then two dozen good swats.

The next day Mady wanted to show her friends how easy it was to make a man ejaculate even when he is locked in a chastity cage. She bent him over a cane backed chair with a saucer below his imprisoned cock flipped his skirt up and pushed his remote-controlled prostate massager up his backdoor. It only took a few minutes before he was dripping ejaculate onto the saucer. And, of course, when he was drained he had to drink up his mess. The girls were mesmerized.

The last day they were with us, Mady and I thought they should have a bit of fun. First, each girl practised with a light cane on poor elliot's bruised bottom. It took a little while, and many "vocalizations" from elliot before each was able to accurately deliver her dozen strokes. "No, dear, you have to hit both cheeks otherwise you won't get the right welt pattern." Then elliot was required to thank each of the girls with his tongue before being sent to his corner. Great fun for the girls and for Mady and I. Not so much for elliot but that really doesn't matter.

I had a wonderful time as both Chriss and Amber were intelligent, pretty and polite. We had lovely dinners where the ladies dressed - which kept elliot in his role as lady's maid busy and deeply excited. All that perfect young female flesh to help groom and dress. I kept him in his little cell when he was off duty so he could think about the lovely breasts and pretty pussies he had to tend. Which meant that, after dinner we could talk very freely.

Both girls loved the idea of female dominance and both were intrigued at the idea of female led relationships and, eventually, wife led marriages. But, as Amber asked, "What do we do while we look for the right man?"

They were a bit taken aback when I said, "Have some fun, make some money, become mistresses."

"You mean like dommes?" said Chriss.

"Good Heavens, no," I said laughing. "Too risky, too boring and there is actually an upfront cost to set up a dungeon - which is what men who visit pro-dommes often expect. No, I mean mistresses in the old fashioned sense of the word. A girl kept by a wealthy older man."

"When you go to bed tonight I'll leave Miss Jay's book, Modern Mistress on your tablets," said Mady.

Which she did and both girls read the first fifty or sixty pages in bed.

The next morning we left elliot in his cell and the girls in their pretty nighties (I insist on them wearing white cotton Victorian nighties which matched Mady's) sat around the breakfast table.

"Well, girls," I said, "What did you think?"

"It all sounds great Miss Jay, but, really, in this day and age don't you think it is a little oppressive for a woman to be "kept" by a man?" said Amber...And we were off.

"Not at all," I said. "In fact, if anything, it is a huge first step towards a woman's freedom and, if she chooses, her leadership in her relationships and her marriage."

"How is sleeping with a man for money a step towards freedom?" asked Chriss. Mady smiled having heard this before.

"Chriss, the fact is that money is, in fact, power," I said settling back in my chair and sipping on a very pleasing latte. "When a man gives a woman money he is, in fact, giving her a bit of power. The opportunity to take advantage of a broader array of choices. In exchange, she gives him the pleasure of her company. Escorts have known this since pretty much forever."

"However, escorting, even at the highest end, is essentially transactional. I talk about all that in my book Avails. Lots of girls have escorted but very few of them have really understood how they can make top dollar at minimal risk," I said. "And the biggest problem with escorting is risk. Physical risk, legal risk and, frankly, moral hazard: it is very easy to become very cynical when you sleep with, to use the euphemism, even three or four men a week, much less a night. Cynical girls lose their charm very quickly which is tragic because charm lasts very much longer than youth or beauty."

"Fair enough," said Amber. "Having one man give you money for your company makes more sense but I still can't see how it is particularly liberating. You still pretty much have to sleep with the guy."

"Eventually," I said. "But not until you have made your arrangement. And that arrangement can be very liberating indeed. Have you ever been poor? I mean not knowing where your next meal is coming from poor?"

"Not really," said Amber. "My parents have a bit of money and I can always go home if stuff gets bad."

"I have," said Chriss. "It really sucks."

"And have you ever had more money than you really needed?" I asked. "Money where you could get a blowout and your nails done and buy the dress, the shoes and the bag?"

"All the same day? asked Amber.

"The same day," I replied.

Both girls shook their heads.

"I'm not surprised," I said. "Most young women, even as well educated as the two of you are, don't start earning significant money until they are in their mid-thirties and, realistically, that is usually when they really want to have kids. Soooo."

"A bit of sexual economics. Your "arm candy" years begin at about twenty and end around twenty-five or six. Now, the fact is that women are actually more beautiful in their late twenties and early thirties and if they do it right, keep becoming more interesting as they get older. But a pretty girl commands peak market price for all of six or seven years," I said. "Most girls waste those years looking for Mr. Right or chasing the entry-level jobs they think will create a payoff down the road or going to school. But, mainly, they waste the time because they can't think of what else they might be doing."

"Being kept by a wealthy older man is not a huge time commitment," I continued. "Usually an evening mid-week and, perhaps, a Saturday afternoon."

"No way," said Chriss. "That's what, maybe eight hours a week?"

"At most, dear, at most," I said.

"And you get your rent covered, pretty clothes, spa days," said Amber.

"If you negotiate well, that and lots more," I said. "Remember, the sort of man who keeps a mistress is taking home serious money. He is probably billing out his time at $500+ an hour or running a company or fixing people's teeth. A couple of thousand a month is nothing, 10K and you are beginning to be a noticeable expense. Keep reading Modern Mistress, some of the girls I talked to have really luxurious lives and they tuck money away every month."

"I flipped forward, Miss Jay, and you're right. The girls do make fabulous money sometimes," said Amber. "But how does that make me "free" if I have to put up with some guy old enough, as the saying goes, to be my father being able to have me whenever he wants?"

"Amber, you need to read the whole thing and a few of my extended interviews as well," I said. "No mistress gives her patron unlimited access. That's for escorts, sugar babies and side pieces: a mistress is none of those things nor would a suitable patron ever expect such a thing. And, truth to tell, ladies, past a certain age, most men are simply not that interested in 24/7 sex. They will be delighted to see their mistress once or twice a week."

"OK, but how does even that make me "free"?" asked Amber.

"It makes you better than "free"; it gives you actual power," I said. "Earning an allowance and treats by being a beautiful, intelligent, interested woman lets you do what you want with the rest of your time. Finish a degree, learn to trade stocks, master the PR game but with the sure knowledge that you are not going to miss a meal or be short on rent. Instead of being a "starving student" or an "unpaid intern" struggling to get by with a side gig, a mistress has the luxury of her own time to do what she wants."

"But that depends on a man," said Chriss.

"It does," I replied. "Here's a hint ladies...men want us to depend on them and when we do we take control. As a mistress, you have control of a part of a man's life, as a wife you have the whole thing."

Which I left them with as I had things to do but later that afternoon Amber and Chriss came into my sitting room.

"Miss Jay, do you have a few minutes?" asked Amber.

"Of course...more questions?"

"A few," said Chriss. "We've been reading and talking and, well, ok. How is it fair that to gain any power, girls have to sleep with men who..."

"Stop right there Chriss. Girls always have huge potential power," I said. "The question is will they use it? And if they use it will they use it with any sort of strategy."

"A million years ago I would put on a pretty dress and a nice pair of heels, walk a couple of blocks to a well known steakhouse and, in no more than twenty minutes, be bought a drink or two and, if the gentleman seemed interesting, a very good steak and a bottle of wine. Yes, there were "expectations" but, no, I never felt the slightest obligation. If I was on heat I might well have taken the gentleman home, but not always. And never if I didn't want to. That, of course, was purely tactical. A near term objective as it were. But, and here is the thing, there was an older gentleman who noticed me. He could easily have bought the steakhouse with pocket change. He certainly bought a lot of girls dinner and there was no messing about. Take the dinner you went home with the man. He invited me several times and I declined. He was my first patron."

"Played hard to get," said Amber giggling.

"Not at all. Just hard to get for him. Because I wanted him."

"How could you tell?" asked Chriss.

"When elliot is out of uniform, take a look at his watch. It is one of several but it is my favourite because I gave it to him. It is not a show off's watch, white gold, no diamonds, a Patek Philippe Calatrava. My first patron wore a very similar watch but in 18k gold," I said. "Then shoes, then suit. Now, to be fair, this was when successful men dressed. Now it may be a matter of recognizing a good sweater or the right phone, but the point is the same. Men who have done well have a look. To find them you go to the places they like to go, a couple of bars, a couple of steakhouses, certain sorts of events."

"And you're saying we should not be cynical," said Chriss.

"What's cynical about wanting a very good man who can afford to keep you?" I said. "In fact, for a small, select, minority of women spending a few years as a mistress allows them to reach their full potential. Plus, for a small, select, minority of men, keeping a mistress acknowledges their own proper position as subservient to at least one woman. Even if the acknowledgement is only tacit."

"Really? said Chriss. "I am not sure how being serviced once a week by a girl young enough to be your daughter is exactly subservient."

"Because you are not seeing the whole picture," I said smiling. "First off, he is being "serviced" by a girl who is receiving a significant allowance, is likely living in a nice apartment with good furniture rent free and who, if she has negotiated cleverly, will have a wardrobe and grooming allowance. Second, a mistress, by her nature and position is "in charge" of the time her patron spends with her. She sets the rules, she decides if she will have sex and what sort of sex she'll have. A good mistress is demanding. Her patron has to satisfy her. Which is what keeps him coming back."

"That never seems to be the way it works in my relationships," said Amber.

"Of course not," I said. "You are likely dating and sleeping with boys your own age using the currency of lust and love. Which is wonderful at your age but, frankly, a bit of a waste of your time. I gather neither of you are rushing to find a husband right now."

Both girls shook their head. "Way too soon."

"So, if you decided to take the mistress option one big change you'd make is to move away from the boy/girl sex world of high school. For a mistress, sex and pleasure are part of a fantasy which her patron is buying," I said. "While patrons often think they want their mistress for sex, a clever mistress offers much more than that."

"At the same time, a mistress knows that the best sex a man is ever likely to have is with an enthusiastic, uninhibited, young woman who actually takes charge in the bedroom," I said. "And, of course, that carries right through to a female-led relationship or marriage. For a variety of reasons, even now, men think they have to take the sexual initiative. There is no good reason for that, but there it is. A smart mistress will take matters in hand as it were."

"But why would a man want that?" asked Chriss.

"Two reasons, first the sheer novelty of a pretty young girl having her wicked way with him, second, and more importantly, men take mistresses for the luxury of real relaxation. Most men who can afford a mistress are insanely busy and are making decisions all day," I said. "Knowing that for a few hours a couple of times a week there are no decisions, no real choices, is really what a patron ends up valuing most in his mistress."

"You make that sound so easy, Miss Jay," said Amber. "But, at the end of the day, a patron is still going to want to have sex."

"Indeed. Or at least that's what he thinks he wants," I said. "Men are not very subtle and they are not very good at actually knowing or articulating what they want. In fact, most men want to be listened to, teased a little, seduced and know that, if they do what they are told, the evening will end happily. For a mistress an evening will be about comfort food, a moderate amount of good wine, a sexy - but not slutty - outfit, flowers, candles and enthusiasm. A few evenings like that and a patron will wonder how he ever lived without his mistress."

"The other great benefit of being a mistress, besides the money and the freedom that money brings, is that a girl learns how to manage, take charge of a man," I said. "If I had not been a mistress there is no way I would have been able to give my darling elliot what he so desperately needed. The experience of having a non-romantic, sexual relationship with a strong, successful, man is something every girl should have. But very few girls will because they are content to drift along in peer relationships."

"OK, so let's say I wanted to try being a mistress," said Amber. "Where would I find this wonderful, wealthy, patron?"

"Well, if both of you were looking..."

"We might be," said Chriss.

"Then you'll have a great advantage. One pretty girl is not entirely safe, two and you can take care of each other," I said. "Unfortunately, the nicest way, which is to be introduced by an older lady such as myself, is not really available as I am very much a homebody. However, there is a simple rule: go where the fish are. In the little city you both live in there are, in no particular order, car shows, boat shows, gallery openings, at least one excellent book store and, as I recall, a couple of fairly high end restaurants. It is not difficult to get on the PR lists for openings. And there is nothing at all wrong with a bit of discrete advertising. And don't worry too much about age, there are plenty of men in their late thirties who would love to take a mistress if they had any clue what that was."

Amber looked a bit troubled. "Miss Jay, one thing bothers me about this. A lot of these prospective patrons are married."

"Ideally," I said. "It makes everything much simpler."

"But isn't that cheating?" asked Amber.

"It is. A mistress, however, is a realist. The fact is that men of a certain age and success often cheat. Often with disastrous consequences. A powerful man is surrounded by temptation - personal assistants, work colleagues, vendors, professionals, girls at conferences - the list is endless and involvement with any of them can lead to sexual harassment claims, long hours with the HR department and, of course, the girl falling in love with the man with all that can lead to including a very expensive divorce."

"A smart wife wants to limit her exposure to any of these consequences," I said. "Now most wives will not be lucky enough to have a Mady but, in a sense, they should welcome a young woman who has no long term designs on their husband. Most men are very discrete about their mistresses but women have a sixth sense when it comes to another woman and this poses an intelligence test. If a wife finds out about a mistress what does she do?"

"So, I will tell you one story and then I have to get on with the day. When I was about your age and was being kept by what was known as a "lumber baron", sweet man, I got a call one afternoon from his wife. She introduced herself on the phone as Mrs. X, Ken X's wife and asked if might meet for lunch the following day.

I agreed, what else could I do, and having dressed carefully, went to a very pleasant little restaurant where the maitre d' escorted me to a table where a wonderfully attractive woman of a certain age rose to greet me.

"So you're Hannah. Turn," she said making a little gesture with a perfectly manicured hand. "Oh you are just perfect. Me, thirty years ago. What a pretty dress. Sit down."

"I suppose you wonder how I know about you," said Mrs. X. "Ken has always talked in his sleep. For the last few weeks he has been saying lovely things about a girl named Hannah and two nights ago he actually said, "Time to play with Hannah Jay."

"No..."

"Oh yes. It was perfect, just like Ken." said Mrs. X.

"You seem very relaxed about all this," I said to her.

"Of course, my dear. Ken has worked hard, cut down a lot of trees and treated me and the children beautifully. We are very dear friends, more than a little in love but he's at that age where he realizes the road ahead is shorter than the one behind. That bothers men. A lot. I was worried that you might be a secretary or something but a quick look at the account Ken doesn't think I know about told the story. You're his mistress! Which is wonderful but I thought we should meet. And you should call me Jean."

Quite honestly this was the last thing I expected. I was prepared to be called a hussy and a lot worse. Or for a tearful, "Please don't take my man" scene. But this was extraordinary.

"I'm delighted you approve," I said.

"Approve? My only regret is that I didn't think of the solution myself. You've put a bounce in Ken's step and he's taking things a day at a time rather than brooding over what he is going to do in retirement. But you mustn't tell him," said Jean.

"Tell him what?"

"That I know," said Jean. "I think half the fun of having a mistress is in the sneaking around, the stolen hours. Men love that sort of thing and it would take a lot of the fun out of it if Ken knew I knew and approved."

I laughed out loud. "You know him very well."

"I do," said Jean. "Being married to someone for thirty years has that effect."

"And you really don't mind?"

"Not at all. You are pretty, and nicely built if I may say so, obviously intelligent and on the payroll. Quite seriously, my great worry was that Ken would find some young girl who would think she was in love with him. That can get very messy for everyone," said Jean. "Looking at Ken's account, you are a very practical young woman."

"I've had to be," I said.

"True for most young girls," said Jean. "Now you can have a bit of fun and, if you can keep Ken interested, earn a tidy little nest egg. Something you should know is that Ken absolutely loves giving people presents. Just out of the blue."

"I've noticed that already. Very thoughtful things like a perfect hairbrush and practical things like a dozen pairs of fully fashioned stockings."

"You wear stockings! No wonder Ken enjoys you. I've always worn stockings because Ken loves them but the young girls today, if they wear hose at all, wear those awful pantihose. For a big, rough, lumberjack, Ken is actually quite smart about pretty lingerie and fine leather goods, gloves, shoes, purses, I have a closet full of really beautiful bags he picked out. In fact, maybe that is why he's taken a mistress, I already have everything I want or need."

We had a very good lunch, a bottle of good wine and a nice hug, "Take care of Ken, Hannah. He is a wonderful guy."

"It would make a better story if Jean and I had lunched monthly but we didn't. Ken kept me for a little over two years when I moved to another city," I said. "I missed him for years."

"No wonder you are such a fan of mistresshood," said Amber. "That sounds perfect."

"It was. And, interestingly, it was as a twenty-something mistress that I learned a key fact about successful, wealthy, men; more often than not they need a place in their lives where they are not under stress, don't have to make decisions, can simply do what they are told," I said. "Ken would never have thought of himself as submissive but when he came to my apartment I was completely in charge. And that grew over time. Especially as I found myself enjoying being in charge."

"About twenty years ago, elliot and I were at a party and we ran into Ken and Jean. It was one of those moments which could have gone either way but Ken marched over and said, "Hannah, you must introduce me to your husband". I did and he introduced me to his wife and not another word was said. We were simply old friends who had not seen each other for years. But I did notice that Ken watched how I led, subtly, elliot even in a completely social situation. At the end of the evening, he came back over. "You're a very lucky man, Elliot," was all he said.

Drained

I get more than a few letters and some offer wonderful insight into female led relationships. I thought this letter from "Cindy" in Canada was an interesting take on an alternative to male chastity.

----

Dear Hannah,

I have read with great interest your posts on male chastity both on the honour system and using a male chastity device. I completely agree that a properly disciplined man should not be able to ejaculate without his wife's permission but I have an alternative to chastity.

I should begin by saying that we are a younger couple, very outdoorsy, into fitness and our careers. My husband, Robbie, has a high stress job and I discovered, early in our courtship, a very high sex drive. He likes sex a lot. So do I, but not nearly as much as Robbie.

Even before we were married I realized that this could be a problem and I looked around for solutions. In general, we are equal partners in our marriage which is how I prefer it. At the same time, Robbie needs to be able to come home from work and not have to make many decisions. In fact, he is rather naturally obedient and prefers to be told what to do. Which is fine by me as I like to be a bit bossy and I don't like back chat. I suppose you could say that we have a female led marriage but mainly we have a marriage where I am in charge and Robbie does what he is told.

If he doesn't he knows I am not at all shy about sending him to our room for a time out or getting out the shower brush - and how he hates the shower brush - and punishing his tight little bottom hard. But that does not happen often.

In the bedroom, I am absolutely in charge and have been since we first had sex well before we were married.

The trouble was that Robbie was so highly sexed that from about our third date he was pushing for sex. I realized that this was just his nature and that if we were going to have a successful marriage I would have to come up with a way of handling that.

Sometimes giving a man what he wants works very well and on our fifth date I invited Robbie into my apartment. He thought he was there to have sex and was incredibly excited. His lovely cock was totally erect coming in the door. I sat on my couch and he was getting ready to sit beside me.

"No, Robbie," I said pointing to a spot a couple of feet in front of me. "I want you to stand right there."

He did what he was told.

"Now, dear man, I think we are doing beautifully as a couple," I said. "You are kind, gentle, funny and you seem to be falling in love. But you are way too pushy about sex. I love being made love to but I am not going to be pressured into it. So you are just going to have to wait."

Robbie shrugged, mumbled "OK" and made a move towards the couch.

"Where do you think you're going. I told you to stand where you are. I am not done yet," I said with a little edge in my voice. "Right now I want to watch you ejaculate. Here's a tissue. Now get cracking."

Yes, it was a bit of a high risk move. He could have refused or tried to swing me around but my read of Robbie was he'd do what he was told. I was right. In a moment or two his rather large cock was out of his pants.

"Well, get on with it," I said savouring his obedience. "Just like you do at home."

Robbie got to work and in not more than a couple of minutes his cockhead turned that amazing purple colour men's cocks sometimes do and he ejaculated. I realized I'd have to get bigger tissues.

"Very good, Robbie," I said. "And good boys get treats."

I unbuttoned my blouse and unclipped my bra. "You can come over here and suck on my pretty nipples for a little while. Just leave your cock out. You are not finished."

About five minutes later, Robbie having demonstrated that he needed a bit of work on his nipple technique, I could see that his cock was getting hard again.

"Stand in front of me Robbie," I said leaving my breasts on display. "You obviously like my pretty nipples. Which is wonderful. Now I want you to ejaculate again for me. Get to work. And when you are done I want you to put your cock away, kiss me good night and go home. Without a word."

He did as he was told, made a mess on his tissue, kissed me and left silently.

Perfect.

The next morning, quite early, I texted him. "Thank you for a wonderful evening. Now, in your shower, I want you to think about my pretty nipples and ejaculate."

I sent him another text when I knew he was taking lunch. "Go to the washroom and make your little mess."

We were meeting for drinks after work and my sweet Robbie was positively glowing when I sat down.

"You are the sexiest woman I have ever met," he said with a smile. And here's the thing, he had stood up when I came to the table and he made it clear he was waiting for my permission to sit back down. Which I gave with a nod.

We have not looked back. I am totally in charge of his ejaculations. Three or four or sometimes five or six a day. I'll tell him or text him and sometimes I will demand a little video of his performance. Of course, when I want to have sex, I taper him off a little so he is extra eager. I've also trained him never to come in me without asking my permission and he knows I will often deny that permission.

The fact is that his cock is as entirely under my control as if it was in a cock cage. Which is what matters to me. And, of course, if I am busy or forget, well he knows that any ejaculation without my supervision and instruction and the shower brush will be bruising his bottom. I swing hard.

So, there you go. There really is more than one way to control a cock and the man it is attached to.

Hugs,

Cindy

-----

Dear Cindy,

How clever of you. It really is all about control. An obedient husband should not need a cage, though they are rather fun. But I love the idea of giving an oversexed man what he wants, good and hard.

Enjoy!

Hannah

Ending the sexual barter system

A number of people wrote me to ask about "Locked-In Love" a book I recommended in my last post and, particularly, about what the author identified as the sexual barter system which underlay his marriage.

Here's how the author described it:

"Through chastity and communication, they identified a sexual trade-off that existed in their marriage, a 'barter system' wherein every action he engaged in had an undercurrent of sexual pressure, a literal tat-for-tit. Freed from it through a chastity device, they were able to enjoy each other on a more meaningful and trusting level. And in lowering the quantity of sex, they raised the quality."

The book is well worth reading for couples curious about male chastity but, of course, it is written from the male perspective. I thought a note on the female perspective might be interesting.

Sexual barter is as old as the hills and rests on a singular fact about the world: men are ready and eager to "go" all the time and women are sexually cyclical. Obviously, this is a generalization but it underlies everything from long term vanilla marriages through to the thriving escort industry. The discreet world of the kept woman, the wealthy man's mistress, is driven by this sexual mismatch. It is also the basis for the vast number of female led relationships and wifedom marriages. 

The idea of sexual barter is, in fact, at the heart of a great deal of what passes for romantic life. A man woos a woman and, if he is successful, she falls in love and becomes sexually available to him. Do they live happily ever after? Well, that depends.

Wives and girlfriends want their men to do certain things, behave in certain ways and, generally (though not often overtly) do what they are told. In even the most vanilla marriage wives will devise rewards and punishments to encourage certain behaviours and discourage others. More than one young wife has given her husband a quick blow job when he's cleaned up the yard or slipped into his favourite stockings and heels to signal her availability when he gets that promotion.

Men quickly learn that if they do what they are told they may receive treats. The trouble is that men will also quickly begin to take those treats for granted. If fact, unless a wife takes charge, most men will simply assume their efforts will always be rewarded. 

Now, the whole sexual barter mistake is often layered on top of a male belief that they also have the right to sex generally and that a wife has to accommodate their desires. Whether it is once a night or once a week, men somehow have the idea their rather instinctive sexuality should be deferred to. The fact this instinctual sexuality is driven by their baser natures and animal urges does not seem to bother them a bit.

Worse, from the time they are little girls, many women are taught that on the one hand, they need to be in control of the sexual situation and on the other, that they need to accept at least the sexual importunings of their husbands. What they are not taught and what is actually transgressive is the idea that their sexuality is cyclical, the very opposite of masculine and that within a successful relationship it is always the woman whose sexuality matters. 

Sexual bartering takes place when a woman satisfies a man when she, herself, is not at all in the mood. While it can be portrayed as "fun" or "spontaneous" it is actually a denial of how female sexuality works.

Now an escort or a mistress takes advantage of the fact men have unbearable urges and charges cash money to take care of those urges. While "decent women" are shocked by this sort of cash transaction I am inclined to think most girls should spend a bit of time as a mistress in their early twenties - if only there were enough wealthy men to go around.

In a marriage the cash nexus is, well, awkward. Your sweet husband may be supporting you or you may both work, but when he wants a blow job handing you a couple of hundred dollars, or even a couple of thousand, is not really how a marriage can or should work. 

So, how do you end the whole sexual barter game?

Whether a woman decides to lead her marriage or simply that her husband needs boundaries, sexual barter ends when she decides to put her needs first. It really is that simple. A single decision.

In practice, this means that for the few days a month a woman is very interested indeed her husband will be required to pleasure her. And she should put it exactly that way. She sets the pace, she enjoys her orgasms, she may or may not let him finish. Every woman is different and many enjoy some sex on the shoulders of the few days a month they are on heat. Which is wonderful and a bonus for their husband. However, for the rest of the month, sex is more a chore than a pleasure and a wise woman makes it very clear to her husband he is to stay well away.

It is upon this biological rock that the church of female supremacy and male subordination is founded. Now, how a woman constructs her marital sexual life is very much up to her.

Some women require their husband's chastity - either caged or on the honour system - when she is not interested in sex. This can work well with older husbands. With younger, randier, men it is not a bad idea to include supervised masturbation during that part of the month when sex is out of the question. The fact is that a younger man, unless firmly locked up, is going to masturbate. Far better that a wife keeps track of this habit and sets aside a few minutes every few days for her husband to humble himself in her presence. Not too often of course.

As I have written before discussing cocks,

"Men are remarkably proud of their ability to make little messes and if a wife can make her husband's masturbation something she controls - and this is easy as having him soil a tissue before he goes to work a couple of times a week becomes a ritual of control which he'll enjoy - then she is taking away his power to play with his cock as he feels like it. [Note: for men who would like their wives to be more dominant, proposing to your wife that you not be allowed to masturbate unsupervised will speed that process along without worrying your wife too much about the broader implications.)

Once a wife has taken control over her husband's ejaculations she has, for all intents and purposes, become the sexually dominant partner. The cock in the marriage has surrendered its autonomy. Where a wife goes from there is entirely up to her. She may want to leave the dynamic right there and enjoy the fruits of her acknowledged sexual superiority or she may want to extend the scope of her dominion."

Sexual barter only occurs where women allow it to. In a wife led marriage, both partners acknowledge that it is only her sexual needs, her pleasure, which matter. There is no room for "barter" because a well trained husband knows and accepts that he has no sexual rights at all. His erections, his ejaculations, are at her pleasure and at her direction.

Of course, it takes a little while for a husband to accept that his cock is no longer his own and here a chastity cage may prove an essential reminder. After all, a man in a chastity device is focused on his wife, not his cock, and that is how it should be.

Outsourcing

Yesterday's post about a Dominant Mistress sparked a wonderful letter from Nancy who writes from a small city in the South Eastern United States,

----
Dear Miss Jay,

A few years ago my husband Kyle confessed to me that he would like me to take the leadership of our marriage. It was quite an adjustment and reading your blog and elliot's books about your female led relationship has been very helpful.

It was not easy but it seemed to make him happy. I keep him chaste and in a chastity device most of the time. I prefer the metal to the silicone but have both. But the fact is that I was and am very uncomfortable other elements of female-led marriage, especially disciplining Kyle. And he certain needs and, frankly, craves discipline.

I took your advice and got a long-handled wooden shower brush which I have used occasionally. But it was obvious that I just couldn't really swing it hard enough. I mean I could, but I love Kyle too much to seriously cause him the sort of pain he seemed to need. And there were other things he wanted which I just can't imagine. Being pegged was one thing and taking an enema was another and, well, he kept begging me to pee on him. I know it took a lot of courage just to ask but I just couldn't do any of that sort of thing. It all left us both very frustrated.

Of course, in my little city, while I have lots of friends, we are all gracious southern ladies who really don't speak about bedroom matters. I kept trying to do what Kyle needed but I just couldn't. Finally, not knowing where to turn, I mentioned I was having problems with Kyle to my doctor. She is much more worldly than I am and asked a few questions and then said, "I think I may have a solution. Leave it with me for a few days."

A few days later my phone rang and a rather pretty voice said, "Mrs. x, my name is Fiona. I'm a nurse and Dr. y suggested I might be of assistance with your husband. I thought we might meet and discuss what you need and what your husband requires."

We quickly agreed to meet for tea at one of the nicer hotels in town and the next day I dressed carefully and had a little notebook in my handbag. Fiona had asked me to make a list of what I would want for Kyle and what Kyle needed. I had that list.

Fiona had told me she was quite petite and had jet black hair. The lovely girl who was wearing a pleated white, calf-length dress and a clever, muted pink tweed Chanel jacket who sat down across from me had not said she was beautiful. But she was. She held out her hand.

"I'm Fiona, Nancy," she said. "Let's order tea and we'll figure out how I might help."

We had a wonderful, funny, conversation. She was, in fact, a nurse but she only worked three nights a week at one of our hospitals on the acute care ward.

"The rest of my time is my own," she said. "Which means I am able to accommodate situations such as yours. You would be surprised at how many of the nice ladies we are taking tea with have these sorts of problems."

Fiona ran her "practice" from a lovely little cottage - she had pictures on her phone - on an estate just outside town. "It's very private and a little isolated. And I have all the facilities you need for this sort of work. Did you make your list?"

I handed it to her.

"Very straightforward," she said. "I am happy to be Kyle's disciplinarian and the other items on the list will simply be worked in as needed. Will he be ejaculating?"

I was very reassured by her very professional tone. "I don't think so unless you think it would be helpful."

"Quite the opposite, ma'am. Is he in chastity?"

"Usually."

"Well always send him locked to me and the question will not come up. Although, as you indicated that pegging was on the agenda, he will certainly have an intromission as that is how I tell when a pegging is complete."

We sipped our tea and went into some detail about Kyle's submissive fantasies. Fiona was very funny but also very professional.

"Men are remarkably silly. I think because, unlike women, they never really have to grow up," she said. "Which suits me as it provides a delightful cash income without the slightest risk. And most of my clients are, in fact, wives who know what their husbands want but who are simply not willing to provide it. I am more than willing."

"Do you want me to do maintenance?" she asked.

"Maintenance?" I asked right back.

"Yes, some female led couples find that a good spanking or caning once a week reminds a man of his position. I have three clients whose husbands I see weekly," she said.

"I'll have to think about that. Do you think it works?" I asked.

"Very much depends on the husband," said Fiona. "It sounds to me as if your husband is pretty obedient right now. I'd suggest leaving maintenance alone for the moment. You can always change your mind. And, once you are comfortable with the fact that I will be doing the serious corrections, you might do maintenance yourself."

"That's a thought," I said thinking about my shower brush.

"Now, when I am disciplining a husband I usually wear a wonderfully old fashioned nurse's uniform. With the cap and the pinned on watch. I have several. It keeps the interaction clinical and professional," said Fiona. "It also means that a wife can easily say, "You are going to see Nurse if you keep that up" and the husband will know exactly what to expect."

Fiona was expensive, "I prefer to be on a monthly retainer against which I will charge for the time spent and carry the balance forward. There are no "extras" and I take the time required for a full and thorough correction. You can send Kyle as often as needed. The only thing I need is a note from you indicating the level of correction, from 1-5, required. 1 is pretty mild. In Kyle's case likely a paddling and an enema. At 3 there will be marks and possibly some bruising. A 5 is pretty severe and you should reserve it for occasions where he really needs punishment."

Fiona finished her tea. I gave her an envelope with her first month's fee in cash. She stood up and held out her hand. "This will be the last time I meet you. Your husband is in good hands," she said. "After each appointment, when your husband is doing his corner time, I will fill out a short report which he will take home to you."

Now, I have gone on far too long but, the next week, Kyle was more than a little rude to me and I looked him straight in the eye and said, "That's enough. You are going to see Nurse." Of course he had no idea what I was talking about but I sent Fiona a text and set an appointment for that evening. As she requested, I wrote a short note explaining the nature of the offence and wrote a number, 2, if memory serves.

I called Kyle into my sewing room. "Kyle, deliver this note to the lady who lives at this address and do exactly what you are told. Your appointment is at eight. Shower first."

He looked pretty worried but obeyed and was soon off to meet Nurse.

Two hours later he was home.

"Strip," I said wanting to inspect Fiona's work. Silently Kyle took off his clothes. "Corner."

As he walked to his corner I looked at his perfectly welted bottom. Then I opened Fiona's report.

It was succinct. "Caning, 24 medium strokes with light cane;  enema, 2 quarts, 10 minute retention, some cramping; small anal plug, one hour after golden shower in dog cage. Husband responsive to commands, well trained. Kyle accepted his correction and does not plan to be rude again. I explained my service and told Kyle that I was acting as your proxy to provide necessary and strict discipline. signed Nurse Fiona.

"OK Kyle, you can go and put your robe on," I said. "Then come back and tell me all about your visit with Nurse."

"Yes, ma'am."

I fetched some wine and lighted a couple of candles on our coffee table. Kyle came in and I motioned him over to the couch.

"So, how did you like Nurse Fiona?" I asked.

"Wow. Where did you find her?" replied Kyle.

"Through a friend," I said.

"Darling," said Kyle getting on his knees. "First off I have to apologize for being rude. And I have to thank you for making the effort to find someone to correct me."

"Well don't do it again. Now get up and tell," I said.

Kyle sat back down on the couch, a bit gingerly.

"Okay, but I am still sort of processing it all. I had a hard time finding Nurse's cottage but, eventually, I found the turn off and drove down a narrow country road for a quarter mile until I saw a nice little bungalow with its outside lights on. I parked, got out the car and knocked on the wide wood door. I heard heels clicking and the door opened and there was Nurse. She's tiny and in full nurse's uniform. I handed her your note.

"Stay here," she said. She closed the door with me outside while she read it. The door re-opened and she said into a phone which was recording, "I am Nurse Fiona. Your wife has sent you here for correction and punishment. When you step across my threshold you have agreed to do exactly as you are told and accept whatever corrections, punishments or orders I give. Your wife requires that you do as I tell you. Do you agree?"

"Yes, Nurse," I said.

"Then, come in," said Nurse putting down her phone. "Follow me."

She led me to a set of stairs which obviously went to the basement. "Down."

I noticed that she had a water bottle and was wearing what looked like a 1940's nurse's uniform.

"Undress."

I did as I was told.

"What a nice chastity cage. Your wife had very good taste. Now go and kneel on that bench."

I went over to a very simple bench which was well padded and had restraints for my wrists and ankles as well as a belt which went around my thighs and another which held my waist very securely. Nurse said nothing as she buckled me in and tightened the belts. I was immobilized. When she was done Nurse sat on a stool directly in front of me.

"Now Kyle, your wife has sent you to be punished for your rudeness. She has indicated in her note that you are to have a level 2 punishment out of a possible 5 levels. Open your mouth."

I did and a thick, penis shaped gag, was put in place. I heard the click of a padlock.

"Now a little ginger," said Nurse moving behind me. I felt something push into my backdoor.

"Ginger root works differently with different people. We'll leave it to get started for ten minutes and then you'll get your caning. If you clench your bottom the sting will intensify. After your caning and one or two more punishments, you'll be getting an enema which will, I suspect, reduce the sting before we put in your bottom plug," said Nurse. Then I heard her go back upstairs and I could hear her television come on.

The ginger began to sting. Not unbearable but irritating. The minutes went by slowly and the sting increased. And if I squirmed I would get a dose of ginger juice which upped the discomfort. By the time I heard Nurse's heels clicking down the stairs it was really becoming difficult. I was sweating.

"Enjoying your little fig aren't you Kyle," she said. "It will get a lot more intense as I whip you. A level two caning is 24 strokes. It is a simple system. Level 1 is 12, 2 is 24, 3 is 48 and so on. But I am using a relatively light cane today. If this was level 3 I would use a medium weight cane and at level 5 I use a heavy cane. For nearly 200 strokes. You'll want to avoid that."

Without a moment's warning I could hear the cane whistle through the air and crack on my bottom.

"At level 2 I do not cross my strokes, but at level 3 I switch sides and your bottom looks like a nasty tic tac toe board. I really would not clench my bottom in your position, the ginger will hurt more than the cane," said Nurse. "And last longer. Only a few more to go."

"Darling, please, never go past level 2," said Kyle. "I was crying after a dozen strokes and Nurse didn't care. I would have been screaming but the gag silenced me. And I couldn't help clenching my bottom so the ginger was leaking agony in my bottom."

Nurse was relentless. I swear she timed the strokes so that every ten seconds a new wave of pain hit. But I was counting the strokes and, at last, we'd hit twenty four.

"As this is your first time you will only have six bonus strokes. Normally there are at least a dozen. And they are always cross hatched," said Nurse switching sides. "I have a little less control with my backhand so this might pinch."

Pinch! Dear Lord. Each stroke connected to at least five of my original welts which actually cut the skin a little. I know because Nurse cleaned me up afterwards. The ginger was excruciating. But nothing compared to the cane. Or so I thought.

"There you go, done. I'll just leave you there for ten minutes to let you catch your breath. You did very well but, well, you don't have much choice do you," said Nurse. I could hear her heels going back upstairs. Now the ginger was competing with my blazing bottom's agony. I honestly hoped I'd pass out but no chance of that and, truth to tell, the endorphins had clicked in and while everything hurt I was well past caring. I closed my eyes and embraced the pain knowing it was for you.

Nurse came back.

"We'll just put on this blindfold and then we can give you a nice shower," said Nurse. "I have always wanted a rotatable bench so my naughty boys could look up but, well, they can't look because I am not that sort of girl, so this does fine."

I began to feel the warmness of her pee as she soaked my head and then my arms and shoulders. It was almost hot. I couldn't see a thing but I could smell her pussy scent and the urine as it hit me. It went on for a long time and I realized why there was a drain in the floor. Finally, Nurse was done and I had had my first Golden Shower. The ginger was agonizing and I was praying that Nurse would finally pop it out. No go.

"We'll just let you enjoy that for a little while," said Nurse. And I heard her going back up stairs.

Nancy, I cannot tell you how much the ginger stung. It was like having a million hornets up my bum. She just left me there. I could hear the TV and the show was, at last, ending. But she didn't come back down. I don't really know how long I was there until, finally, I heard her coming back. I felt her pull the ginger out of my ass but that was no relief.

"So Kyle, I expect you will never be rude to your wife again," said Nurse.

I couldn't respond other than nodding as the gag was still in.

"Time to clean out that nasty ginger juice," said Nurse putting on a pair of gloves. "Two quarts of nice, warm soapy water up your bottom and all the way into your colon will help a lot."

I felt her push some sort of lubricant in and then a quite thick thing which went in a long way. It hurt but not nearly as much as the ginger. Then a gush of warmth and the stinging died away. I began to feel full and then she attached a second bag and I began to feel cramps. Small at first but they increased in intensity.

"You'll cramp a bit, just relax. You only have to hold this for ten minutes," said Nurse.

Those were ten long minutes during which Nurse undid all but my wrist restraints and put something on my bottom.

"Your wife will be pleased. You'll have welts for a week," said Nurse.

The cramping was getting worse and I desperately needed to get to a washroom. Nurse looked at her watch.

"OK, keep holding. I will release your wrists and then you will be able to go to the washroom. I'll be waiting."

Relief. Darling, I totally understand why you never gave me an enema. But it felt so good to release. Amazing really. I came out of the washroom to see Nurse standing beside a dog cage with a fairly large butt plug in her gloved hands.

"We'll just slip this in and lock you up in your cage for a while so you can think about how grateful you are to Nancy for arranging all this. When I come back I will let you out, you will get dressed and come upstairs. I will take out your gag and you, without saying a word, will go home to your loving wife and the head of your household," said Nurse.

About half an hour in the dog cage later that is exactly what happened.

"Thank you Darling," said my dear husband.

"You've learned your lesson?" I asked.

"Oh yes."

"And that what you've wanted me to do?" I asked, curious.

"I don't know.  I can't imagine you being that intense."

"But that is what you have needed, isn't it?"

"Yes, ma'am," said my darling husband.

"Then that is what you'll have. Now go and shower and go to bed. I'll be up in a little while."

Which is how we started with Nurse Fiona. I make sure her retainer is paid up to date and Kyle is sent over a couple of times a month if he is naughty. Which he often is. We've never gone beyond level 2 and I suspect we never will. But Kyle never knows what is in the envelope. But he does know that Nurse Fiona will follow my instructions to the letter.

I just have to say "Three" for a complete attitude change.

It's perfect.

Yours,

Nancy

-----

I wrote back,

Dear Nancy,

Thank you so much for sharing this.

Ginger is a nasty thing and darling elliot has been figged more than occasionally.

Nurse Fiona sounds like a treasure and how clever of your doctor to find a solution.

For some women, the very idea of punishing their husbands, no matter how much their husbands want to be corrected, is impossible. Outsourcing is a great idea.

The difficulty is finding a woman like Nurse Fiona. They are out there but all too often wives turn to professional dominatrixs who don't quite "get it". Nurse Fiona obviously does and both you and Kyle are very, very lucky to have found her.

Enjoy!

Hannah

Locktober

elliot has been in chastity since Labour Day and is all the better and more attentive for it. I have allowed him one ejaculation and Mady tells me she has had him out twice to enjoy a little penetration. Of course he knows he is never to ejaculate when Mady is using him and he also knows that if he does he'll be whipped severely and locked down in his "meditation" room for several days. He's very careful. So, at our house "Locktober" is not really all that big a deal.

Other marriages have different routines and I was delighted to get this letter from a dominant wife in Oregon a few days ago.

----

Dear Miss Jay,

I love reading your blog. You have such a wonderful, matter of fact, way of leading your marriage.

My husband, roy, accepted my leadership in our marriage a couple of years after we were first married five years ago. For the most part that has involved roy doing what he is told and accepting the fact that if he is disobedient or talks back he is in for a paddling. I have a light 14 inch bamboo paddle for quick corrections, a cute 8 inch hairbrush which I keep in my bag and am happy to use if roy gets stroppy when we're out and, on your recommendation, a 17 3/4 inch wooden shower brush which roy hates and I use only sparingly. Just having the shower brush in the shower reminds roy not to masturbate without my permission.

Rather like you, I am not especially fond of penetrative sex. I would much rather have roy pay me oral attention and I have trained him to pleasure me and then accept the fact it is my choice as to whether or not he will be allowed to pleasure himself. Which is fine but in the last year I have wanted a bit more control and I have been putting roy in a chastity device. This has been an occasional thing until the last couple of months where I have been leaving him locked up for a few days at a time.

He has responded very well to fairly short periods of chastity - yes, it really is true that a man in chastity will do almost anything to be released - but now I would like to extend those periods.

My thought was that "Locktober" might be a good test run for roy's chastity to become his default position. Rather like elliot. So, I am going to lock him in on October 1 and, no matter how much he begs, I am not letting him out until Halloween.

My thought is that I will do a weekly clean up with a face cloth with roy's hands handcuffed behind his back. I was also thinking that, around the 15th, I might masturbate him to relive the pressure.

What do you think of my plans?

Yours sincerely,

Cecily

----
I wrote back.

Dear Cecily,

What a lucky man roy is to have found an intelligent woman to obey. Good for you.

I think your plan to lock roy up for thirty-one days is excellent. Extended chastity changes the whole dynamic in a female-led relationship. I know the shower brush impresses the seriousness of your dominion on roy's posterior but having his cock locked up for a month will add a whole new dimension to your marriage.

So I think, overall, your plans for Locktober are nearly perfect. Two quibbles, first, you write about locking roy up but you don't mention upping his oral service requirements. Locktober is not just about going cock free for a month, it is also about the lady of the house enjoying lavish oral sex, massages, foot baths and all sorts of other delightful things a chaste male will be only too happy to do.

My second quibble is more serious. A man in chastity should, in my view, be chaste for the duration of the time you set. If you are locking him up for October he should not come at all in October. Strict, I know, but for long term chastity to have its desired effect, orgasm denial needs to be part of it.

Now, if you really think you need to "relieve the pressure" (and I note there is no proper medical evidence that prolonged chastity is harmful), might I suggest, mid-month, that you push a vibrator up his bum and let his prostate cause him to dribble without any hint of orgasm. (I wrote a short book on the benefits of prostate milking in female led relationship: A Ladies Guide to Prostate Milking.) A good remote control anal vibrator and you can pretty much handcuff him, lie him on the bed, push the vibe up his backdoor and flick the vibe to a medium setting. Twenty minutes later he'd be drained but, in this is the key thing, he will not lose the edge you have been building. Men who orgasm undergo physio and psychological changes and it takes them sometime to rebuild the sexual tension which keeps them so attentive. Prostate milking avoids that altogether.

So, enjoy Locktober! I know roy will. And, remember, if Locktober goes well, there is always NOvember.

Enjoy!

Hannah










 

Finding Miss Right

I get this question a lot and I have discussed it with a number of dominant wives and other dominant women,

As a submissive male, how can I find a truly dominant wife?

It is actually a somewhat complicated question because it is rooted in a set of male assumptions which, frankly, do not map well onto the female experience.

Men, for complicated psychological reasons, are far more likely to develop sexual obsessions and fetishes than women are. And those fetishes and obsessions are often core elements of a man's personality. Women, on the other hand, may have well-integrated personality traits which may extend to their sexual world. They may also enjoy a particular "style" which also may extend into the bedroom (and maybe beyond.)

Unfortunately, a lot of men make the erroneous assumption that women obsess in the same way they do. That is almost never the case. So the likelihood of finding a woman who is naturally, sexually, dominant is relatively low. I am not saying it never happens, but it is rare. 

On a personal note, while I have always enjoyed being in charge, that was never an end in itself. Rather it was a means to an end which I have, I think, managed to obtain in my household. When I was younger and just exploring my own sexuality it really never dawned on me that a man would actually enjoy being told what to do in bed and elsewhere. And if you had told me I would routinely cane my loving husband and keep his cock locked in a cage, I would have laughed in your face. After all, what sort of man would put up with that sort of treatment and what sort of woman would even think of doing it? The answer, of course, is wonderful men and women just like me. But it took a while to figure that out.

The relative rarity of women who are, as it were, natural dominants makes things look grim for a submissive man looking for a wife. However, that is because that submissive man is seeing the world from a male point of view. From a female point of view a man who is loving, hard working, gentle and attentive automatically goes on the "husband" radar. And women know that all men, even the best men, have flaws, fetishes, needs which do not necessarily line up with the ideal. A decent man with a decent job, few bad habits who attends to his fitness and his grooming and is interesting and reasonable in bed and faithful looks very good as a girl sees thirty looming up.

Now, if several months into the relationship that very nice, very marriageable man tells his future

wife that he enjoys being a bit submissive or that he likes to be told to wear feminine clothing or that he enjoys being pegged, while it will cause a woman to reconsider, it is by no means a deal breaker in most cases. 

So, the question of finding a truly dominant wife actually resolves into a question of making yourself the sort of potential husband a woman would actually want regardless of your peccadillos. Even the least dominant girl will make an effort if the rest of the package is worth it.

All that said, a woman's experience before meeting a submissive potential husband may improve his chances. A girl who has been a mistress or a high end escort will tend to be more open to the needs of a submissive husband. But, to my surprise, at least three of the dominant wives I am in touch with were nurses. Which when I thought about a little made sense. After all, from a young age, nurses are trained to take charge. They are used to giving orders and they long since shed any shyness around naked men. Plus, and this can be important, they sometimes have to inflict pain to assist in treatment. A useful skill in a dominant wife.

In general, while it may seem like a shortcut, joining fetish meet-ups is not a great way to meet a wife. If you are looking for a good hard spanking it may be just the thing; but the women who get heavily involved in the fetish scene tend to have issues. Again, I generalize, but I have been surprised at how few dominant wives I know have any interest in that world. (I would say much the same thing about professional dommes; girls who are just in it for the money are not likely to make a life long commitment.)

As well as trying to become the best husband material you can, a submissive male looking for a wife should be very honest with himself about the sort of women he is actually attracted to. In particular, he should consider the question of style. Does he like very feminine women or outdoorsy girls or charter members of pantsuit nation? Does he have a strong preference as to body type or hair colour or any number of other dimensions of a woman's style? In an FLR, even more than in a conventional marriage, the wife's style is the only style which will matter.

A final point, men, simply by being gentlemen, having manners, being deferential to women in general, will find that they become more and more attractive to women - dominant or otherwise.

The fact is that women gain great satisfaction from caring about their husbands and their children. If a husband needs a special kind of care and his wife knows that it makes him happy and productive, chances are very good she'll make her wonderful husband's submission part of her marriage. Just as vanilla wives have been known to reward their husband with a long, lingering blow job, dominant wives will put him in his corner, let him wear a pretty nightie to bed and find plenty of excuses for disciplinary action.

Ultimately, most women actually run their marriages - all a submissive man is looking for is for that to become a bit more explicit. For most women that will not be a problem...not a problem at all once they get used to it.

-----

If you are thinking of  asking your wife to put you in your place, you may want to read a few of our books or buy a cock cage:

	You can order a cock cage for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recomend starting with a relatively inexpensive silicone cage for fit and obedience training. Order here.
Books you might like:
The Art of the Maid Mady's Favourite Book
Dominant Woman  Feminine Superiority in Art
Obedient Husband Effortless Female Superiority in a Loving Marriage
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A Female Led Relationship: Is an FLR Normal

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