Showing posts with label elegant woman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label elegant woman. Show all posts

Wednesday, 29 January 2020

Wife on Top

dominant wife, submissive husband, pegging, crossdressing, male chastity
Regular readers on this blog will have noticed that I have published a number of letters from women who have taken charge of their marriage.

Wife on Top is a collection of those letters in one Kindle ebook published today.

Publication of Wife on Top clears the deck for my own book on how to have a female led relationship, how to be a dominant wife and how best to subjugate and discipline a boyfriend or husband.

What I have been finding as I read and spend time on the internet is that the basic concepts of female leadership in marriage, the need to discipline and correct husbands, the desirability of male chastity and ejaculation control, are all becoming more mainstream. It is subtle but many women have realized that mere equality does not work for them, at least no in marriage. Instead, the overt submission of a fiance or eventual husband has become the new gold standard.

This is particularly true in the bedroom where more and more women are demanding their right to sexual gratification in preference to their husband's base urges. More and more women are locking down their husband's cocks  and adopting the principles of a single, female, cycle driven, sexuality for their marriage.

The stories in Wife on Top are meant to guide and inspire wives as they asset their feminine authority and husbands as they accept their need to submit and obey.

Thursday, 23 January 2020

The Mistress Option

Mady had two girlfriends come to stay just after New Years. We had great fun dressing elliot as a maid of all work and having him serve the ladies at lunch and for cocktails and dinner. Needless to say the girls were both amazed and eventually amused as Mady and I put elliot through his paces.

His humiliation was enhanced when, each afternoon, he was required to submit to a punishment: the first day it was a good hard shower brushing because he had stared just a little too hard as Chriss - one of the girls - very ample chest. He had to lift his maid's skirt and pull down his frilly rumba panties before I gave him a lecture about respecting women and then two dozen good swats.

The next day Mady wanted to show her friends how easy it was to make a man ejaculate even when he is locked in a chastity cage. She bent him over a cane backed chair with a saucer below his imprisoned cock flipped his skirt up and pushed his remote-controlled prostate massager up his backdoor. It only took a few minutes before he was dripping ejaculate onto the saucer. And, of course, when he was drained he had to drink up his mess. The girls were mesmerized.

The last day they were with us, Mady and I thought they should have a bit of fun. First, each girl practised with a light cane on poor elliot's bruised bottom. It took a little while, and many "vocalizations" from elliot before each was able to accurately deliver her dozen strokes. "No, dear, you have to hit both cheeks otherwise you won't get the right welt pattern." Then elliot was required to thank each of the girls with his tongue before being sent to his corner. Great fun for the girls and for Mady and I. Not so much for elliot but that really doesn't matter.

I had a wonderful time as both Chriss and Amber were intelligent, pretty and polite. We had lovely dinners where the ladies dressed - which kept elliot in his role as lady's maid busy and deeply excited. All that perfect young female flesh to help groom and dress. I kept him in his little cell when he was off duty so he could think about the lovely breasts and pretty pussies he had to tend. Which meant that, after dinner we could talk very freely.

Both girls loved the idea of female dominance and both were intrigued at the idea of female led relationships and, eventually, wife led marriages. But, as Amber asked, "What do we do while we look for the right man?"

They were a bit taken aback when I said, "Have some fun, make some money, become mistresses."

"You mean like dommes?" said Chriss.

"Good Heavens, no," I said laughing. "Too risky, too boring and there is actually an upfront cost to set up a dungeon - which is what men who visit pro-dommes often expect. No, I mean mistresses in the old fashioned sense of the word. A girl kept by a wealthy older man."

"When you go to bed tonight I'll leave Miss Jay's book, Modern Mistress on your tablets," said Mady.

Which she did and both girls read the first fifty or sixty pages in bed.

The next morning we left elliot in his cell and the girls in their pretty nighties (I insist on them wearing white cotton Victorian nighties which matched Mady's) sat around the breakfast table.

"Well, girls," I said, "What did you think?"

"It all sounds great Miss Jay, but, really, in this day and age don't you think it is a little oppressive for a woman to be "kept" by a man?" said Amber...And we were off.

"Not at all," I said. "In fact, if anything, it is a huge first step towards a woman's freedom and, if she chooses, her leadership in her relationships and her marriage."

"How is sleeping with a man for money a step towards freedom?" asked Chriss. Mady smiled having heard this before.

"Chriss, the fact is that money is, in fact, power," I said settling back in my chair and sipping on a very pleasing latte. "When a man gives a woman money he is, in fact, giving her a bit of power. The opportunity to take advantage of a broader array of choices. In exchange, she gives him the pleasure of her company. Escorts have known this since pretty much forever."

"However, escorting, even at the highest end, is essentially transactional. I talk about all that in my book Avails. Lots of girls have escorted but very few of them have really understood how they can make top dollar at minimal risk," I said. "And the biggest problem with escorting is risk. Physical risk, legal risk and, frankly, moral hazard: it is very easy to become very cynical when you sleep with, to use the euphemism, even three or four men a week, much less a night. Cynical girls lose their charm very quickly which is tragic because charm lasts very much longer than youth or beauty."

"Fair enough," said Amber. "Having one man give you money for your company makes more sense but I still can't see how it is particularly liberating. You still pretty much have to sleep with the guy."

"Eventually," I said. "But not until you have made your arrangement. And that arrangement can be very liberating indeed. Have you ever been poor? I mean not knowing where your next meal is coming from poor?"

"Not really," said Amber. "My parents have a bit of money and I can always go home if stuff gets bad."

"I have," said Chriss. "It really sucks."

"And have you ever had more money than you really needed?" I asked. "Money where you could get a blowout and your nails done and buy the dress, the shoes and the bag?"

"All the same day? asked Amber.

"The same day," I replied.

Both girls shook their heads.

"I'm not surprised," I said. "Most young women, even as well educated as the two of you are, don't start earning significant money until they are in their mid-thirties and, realistically, that is usually when they really want to have kids. Soooo."

"A bit of sexual economics. Your "arm candy" years begin at about twenty and end around twenty-five or six. Now, the fact is that women are actually more beautiful in their late twenties and early thirties and if they do it right, keep becoming more interesting as they get older. But a pretty girl commands peak market price for all of six or seven years," I said. "Most girls waste those years looking for Mr. Right or chasing the entry-level jobs they think will create a payoff down the road or going to school. But, mainly, they waste the time because they can't think of what else they might be doing."

"Being kept by a wealthy older man is not a huge time commitment," I continued. "Usually an evening mid-week and, perhaps, a Saturday afternoon."

"No way," said Chriss. "That's what, maybe eight hours a week?"

"At most, dear, at most," I said.

"And you get your rent covered, pretty clothes, spa days," said Amber.

"If you negotiate well, that and lots more," I said. "Remember, the sort of man who keeps a mistress is taking home serious money. He is probably billing out his time at $500+ an hour or running a company or fixing people's teeth. A couple of thousand a month is nothing, 10K and you are beginning to be a noticeable expense. Keep reading Modern Mistress, some of the girls I talked to have really luxurious lives and they tuck money away every month."

"I flipped forward, Miss Jay, and you're right. The girls do make fabulous money sometimes," said Amber. "But how does that make me "free" if I have to put up with some guy old enough, as the saying goes, to be my father being able to have me whenever he wants?"

"Amber, you need to read the whole thing and a few of my extended interviews as well," I said. "No mistress gives her patron unlimited access. That's for escorts, sugar babies and side pieces: a mistress is none of those things nor would a suitable patron ever expect such a thing. And, truth to tell, ladies, past a certain age, most men are simply not that interested in 24/7 sex. They will be delighted to see their mistress once or twice a week."

"OK, but how does even that make me "free"?" asked Amber.

"It makes you better than "free"; it gives you actual power," I said. "Earning an allowance and treats by being a beautiful, intelligent, interested woman lets you do what you want with the rest of your time. Finish a degree, learn to trade stocks, master the PR game but with the sure knowledge that you are not going to miss a meal or be short on rent. Instead of being a "starving student" or an "unpaid intern" struggling to get by with a side gig, a mistress has the luxury of her own time to do what she wants."

"But that depends on a man," said Chriss.

"It does," I replied. "Here's a hint ladies...men want us to depend on them and when we do we take control. As a mistress, you have control of a part of a man's life, as a wife you have the whole thing."

Which I left them with as I had things to do but later that afternoon Amber and Chriss came into my sitting room.

"Miss Jay, do you have a few minutes?" asked Amber.

"Of course...more questions?"

"A few," said Chriss. "We've been reading and talking and, well, ok. How is it fair that to gain any power, girls have to sleep with men who..."

"Stop right there Chriss. Girls always have huge potential power," I said. "The question is will they use it? And if they use it will they use it with any sort of strategy."

"A million years ago I would put on a pretty dress and a nice pair of heels, walk a couple of blocks to a well known steakhouse and, in no more than twenty minutes, be bought a drink or two and, if the gentleman seemed interesting, a very good steak and a bottle of wine. Yes, there were "expectations" but, no, I never felt the slightest obligation. If I was on heat I might well have taken the gentleman home, but not always. And never if I didn't want to. That, of course, was purely tactical. A near term objective as it were. But, and here is the thing, there was an older gentleman who noticed me. He could easily have bought the steakhouse with pocket change. He certainly bought a lot of girls dinner and there was no messing about. Take the dinner you went home with the man. He invited me several times and I declined. He was my first patron."

"Played hard to get," said Amber giggling.

"Not at all. Just hard to get for him. Because I wanted him."

"How could you tell?" asked Chriss.

"When elliot is out of uniform, take a look at his watch. It is one of several but it is my favourite because I gave it to him. It is not a show off's watch, white gold, no diamonds, a Patek Philippe Calatrava. My first patron wore a very similar watch but in 18k gold," I said. "Then shoes, then suit. Now, to be fair, this was when successful men dressed. Now it may be a matter of recognizing a good sweater or the right phone, but the point is the same. Men who have done well have a look. To find them you go to the places they like to go, a couple of bars, a couple of steakhouses, certain sorts of events."

"And you're saying we should not be cynical," said Chriss.

"What's cynical about wanting a very good man who can afford to keep you?" I said. "In fact, for a small, select, minority of women spending a few years as a mistress allows them to reach their full potential. Plus, for a small, select, minority of men, keeping a mistress acknowledges their own proper position as subservient to at least one woman. Even if the acknowledgement is only tacit."

"Really? said Chriss. "I am not sure how being serviced once a week by a girl young enough to be your daughter is exactly subservient."

"Because you are not seeing the whole picture," I said smiling. "First off, he is being "serviced" by a girl who is receiving a significant allowance, is likely living in a nice apartment with good furniture rent free and who, if she has negotiated cleverly, will have a wardrobe and grooming allowance. Second, a mistress, by her nature and position is "in charge" of the time her patron spends with her. She sets the rules, she decides if she will have sex and what sort of sex she'll have. A good mistress is demanding. Her patron has to satisfy her. Which is what keeps him coming back."

"That never seems to be the way it works in my relationships," said Amber.

"Of course not," I said. "You are likely dating and sleeping with boys your own age using the currency of lust and love. Which is wonderful at your age but, frankly, a bit of a waste of your time. I gather neither of you are rushing to find a husband right now."

Both girls shook their head. "Way too soon."

"So, if you decided to take the mistress option one big change you'd make is to move away from the boy/girl sex world of high school. For a mistress, sex and pleasure are part of a fantasy which her patron is buying," I said. "While patrons often think they want their mistress for sex, a clever mistress offers much more than that."

"At the same time, a mistress knows that the best sex a man is ever likely to have is with an enthusiastic, uninhibited, young woman who actually takes charge in the bedroom," I said. "And, of course, that carries right through to a female-led relationship or marriage. For a variety of reasons, even now, men think they have to take the sexual initiative. There is no good reason for that, but there it is. A smart mistress will take matters in hand as it were."

"But why would a man want that?" asked Chriss.

"Two reasons, first the sheer novelty of a pretty young girl having her wicked way with him, second, and more importantly, men take mistresses for the luxury of real relaxation. Most men who can afford a mistress are insanely busy and are making decisions all day," I said. "Knowing that for a few hours a couple of times a week there are no decisions, no real choices, is really what a patron ends up valuing most in his mistress."

"You make that sound so easy, Miss Jay," said Amber. "But, at the end of the day, a patron is still going to want to have sex."

"Indeed. Or at least that's what he thinks he wants," I said. "Men are not very subtle and they are not very good at actually knowing or articulating what they want. In fact, most men want to be listened to, teased a little, seduced and know that, if they do what they are told, the evening will end happily. For a mistress an evening will be about comfort food, a moderate amount of good wine, a sexy - but not slutty - outfit, flowers, candles and enthusiasm. A few evenings like that and a patron will wonder how he ever lived without his mistress."

"The other great benefit of being a mistress, besides the money and the freedom that money brings, is that a girl learns how to manage, take charge of a man," I said. "If I had not been a mistress there is no way I would have been able to give my darling elliot what he so desperately needed. The experience of having a non-romantic, sexual relationship with a strong, successful, man is something every girl should have. But very few girls will because they are content to drift along in peer relationships."

"OK, so let's say I wanted to try being a mistress," said Amber. "Where would I find this wonderful, wealthy, patron?"

"Well, if both of you were looking..."

"We might be," said Chriss.

"Then you'll have a great advantage. One pretty girl is not entirely safe, two and you can take care of each other," I said. "Unfortunately, the nicest way, which is to be introduced by an older lady such as myself, is not really available as I am very much a homebody. However, there is a simple rule: go where the fish are. In the little city you both live in there are, in no particular order, car shows, boat shows, gallery openings, at least one excellent book store and, as I recall, a couple of fairly high end restaurants. It is not difficult to get on the PR lists for openings. And there is nothing at all wrong with a bit of discrete advertising. And don't worry too much about age, there are plenty of men in their late thirties who would love to take a mistress if they had any clue what that was."

Amber looked a bit troubled. "Miss Jay, one thing bothers me about this. A lot of these prospective patrons are married."

"Ideally," I said. "It makes everything much simpler."

"But isn't that cheating?" asked Amber.

"It is. A mistress, however, is a realist. The fact is that men of a certain age and success often cheat. Often with disastrous consequences. A powerful man is surrounded by temptation - personal assistants, work colleagues, vendors, professionals, girls at conferences - the list is endless and involvement with any of them can lead to sexual harassment claims, long hours with the HR department and, of course, the girl falling in love with the man with all that can lead to including a very expensive divorce."

"A smart wife wants to limit her exposure to any of these consequences," I said. "Now most wives will not be lucky enough to have a Mady but, in a sense, they should welcome a young woman who has no long term designs on their husband. Most men are very discrete about their mistresses but women have a sixth sense when it comes to another woman and this poses an intelligence test. If a wife finds out about a mistress what does she do?"

"So, I will tell you one story and then I have to get on with the day. When I was about your age and was being kept by what was known as a "lumber baron", sweet man, I got a call one afternoon from his wife. She introduced herself on the phone as Mrs. X, Ken X's wife and asked if might meet for lunch the following day.

I agreed, what else could I do, and having dressed carefully, went to a very pleasant little restaurant where the maitre d' escorted me to a table where a wonderfully attractive woman of a certain age rose to greet me.

"So you're Hannah. Turn," she said making a little gesture with a perfectly manicured hand. "Oh you are just perfect. Me, thirty years ago. What a pretty dress. Sit down."

"I suppose you wonder how I know about you," said Mrs. X. "Ken has always talked in his sleep. For the last few weeks he has been saying lovely things about a girl named Hannah and two nights ago he actually said, "Time to play with Hannah Jay."

"No..."

"Oh yes. It was perfect, just like Ken." said Mrs. X.

"You seem very relaxed about all this," I said to her.

"Of course, my dear. Ken has worked hard, cut down a lot of trees and treated me and the children beautifully. We are very dear friends, more than a little in love but he's at that age where he realizes the road ahead is shorter than the one behind. That bothers men. A lot. I was worried that you might be a secretary or something but a quick look at the account Ken doesn't think I know about told the story. You're his mistress! Which is wonderful but I thought we should meet. And you should call me Jean."

Quite honestly this was the last thing I expected. I was prepared to be called a hussy and a lot worse. Or for a tearful, "Please don't take my man" scene. But this was extraordinary.

"I'm delighted you approve," I said.

"Approve? My only regret is that I didn't think of the solution myself. You've put a bounce in Ken's step and he's taking things a day at a time rather than brooding over what he is going to do in retirement. But you mustn't tell him," said Jean.

"Tell him what?"

"That I know," said Jean. "I think half the fun of having a mistress is in the sneaking around, the stolen hours. Men love that sort of thing and it would take a lot of the fun out of it if Ken knew I knew and approved."

I laughed out loud. "You know him very well."

"I do," said Jean. "Being married to someone for thirty years has that effect."

"And you really don't mind?"

"Not at all. You are pretty, and nicely built if I may say so, obviously intelligent and on the payroll. Quite seriously, my great worry was that Ken would find some young girl who would think she was in love with him. That can get very messy for everyone," said Jean. "Looking at Ken's account, you are a very practical young woman."

"I've had to be," I said.

"True for most young girls," said Jean. "Now you can have a bit of fun and, if you can keep Ken interested, earn a tidy little nest egg. Something you should know is that Ken absolutely loves giving people presents. Just out of the blue."

"I've noticed that already. Very thoughtful things like a perfect hairbrush and practical things like a dozen pairs of fully fashioned stockings."

"You wear stockings! No wonder Ken enjoys you. I've always worn stockings because Ken loves them but the young girls today, if they wear hose at all, wear those awful pantihose. For a big, rough, lumberjack, Ken is actually quite smart about pretty lingerie and fine leather goods, gloves, shoes, purses, I have a closet full of really beautiful bags he picked out. In fact, maybe that is why he's taken a mistress, I already have everything I want or need."

We had a very good lunch, a bottle of good wine and a nice hug, "Take care of Ken, Hannah. He is a wonderful guy."

"It would make a better story if Jean and I had lunched monthly but we didn't. Ken kept me for a little over two years when I moved to another city," I said. "I missed him for years."

"No wonder you are such a fan of mistresshood," said Amber. "That sounds perfect."

"It was. And, interestingly, it was as a twenty-something mistress that I learned a key fact about successful, wealthy, men; more often than not they need a place in their lives where they are not under stress, don't have to make decisions, can simply do what they are told," I said. "Ken would never have thought of himself as submissive but when he came to my apartment I was completely in charge. And that grew over time. Especially as I found myself enjoying being in charge."

"About twenty years ago, elliot and I were at a party and we ran into Ken and Jean. It was one of those moments which could have gone either way but Ken marched over and said, "Hannah, you must introduce me to your husband". I did and he introduced me to his wife and not another word was said. We were simply old friends who had not seen each other for years. But I did notice that Ken watched how I led, subtly, elliot even in a completely social situation. At the end of the evening, he came back over. "You're a very lucky man, Elliot," was all he said.
























Monday, 2 December 2019

Being Available

A commentator in the last post wrote:

"How can I earn a life to be spanked and pegged by a strict dominant woman who will make me submit to her rules and regulations?"



It is a question which comes up regularly and I think it is worth answering. I did so in the comments but I want to expand my answer a bit here.

----
Assuming that you are serious a couple of points: begin with being a gentleman to all the women in your life and all the women you meet. Good old fashioned manners will go a long way towards attracting an interesting woman.

Meeting women is not terribly difficult. Meeting the right women is. You are very unlikely to meet the right sort of woman in a bar or a club, much more likely to meet one at a book sale or in a vintage clothing shop. A compliment - "what a lovely coat" - gets the ball rolling. Be very polite and very deferential. "Might I join you for a coffee when you have a bit of spare time?" leave the decision with the woman where it belongs. 

Now, a real gentleman will have a personal - not business - card with just his name, email address and phone number. Making a nice presentation, with a little bow, to give a lady your card will, I will virtually guarantee, be something which has never happened to her before and therefore make you more interesting than most of the men she meets. Plus, your bow will already, suggest your submissiveness. Not a bad way to begin. 

Second, in your interactions with women generally and eligible women in particular, go out of your way to demonstrate your obedience and submission. No, don't fall to your knees...but do as you are told and saying "Yes, Miss." will surprise and delight most women.

Again, as you are meeting women, look for opportunities to serve. For example, if you have struck up a conversation in a vintage clothing shop, there is no reason not to offer to hold the clothes she is going to try on while she is in the changing room. (On a second visit, when you know each other a little and she realizes she can trust you, offering to carry her bag while she goes through the racks and also offering to carry her selections, is a lovely way to introduce any woman to the pleasures of a submissive, obedient man.)

Third, while you will likely ask any number of unsuitable women out understand that it is a submissive male's duty to make the effort. After all, unsuitable or not, girls need nice breaks whether it is for coffee or lunch or dinner. And you always pay. If she demurs, well, wait to be told what to do. But make sure you make the first move. It is the only first move a submissive man should make. Everything else, from whether to see each other again to physical intimacy to which movie to see is up to the woman. Of course, you can suggest going to dinner or to a movie but she decides where or what to see.

Fourth, if, as dates sometimes do, a woman seems interested in intimacy, make sure you let her take the lead. Especially if you are lucky enough to be invited to her bed. Your only reason to be there is her pleasure so do as you are told. Your pleasures and urges simply do not matter. (Note: if you have pleasured a woman properly and she suggests reciprocation, you need to make it clear that she has no obligation at all to attend to your needs. If she suggests a blow job after you have licked her to completion, suggest giving her a nice backrub instead.) 

Some women will love being in charge in the bedroom and that is a very good sign as to their eventual willingness to take charge of the relationship. At the same time, many women are very used to the man taking the initiative. A good way to get past this is to explain that, in these #metoo days it is very important to you to know that any physical intimacy is at her initiation. "You tell me what you want me to do."

After a few encounters, she'll realize that you are really there entirely for her pleasure and at her direction. If she is comfortable with that you are ready to move on to the hard part.

Finally, with her permission, tell her about your desires. Be prepared for her to be a little shocked, or not, but you need to be totally honest. But you do not have to be all that blunt. For example, when something goes a little bit wrong, saying something like, "I really deserve a good spanking for forgetting to put water in with the flowers" opens up the whole spanking question. Pegging is a little different as you'll have to open up the question, "I wish I could feel you in me" and then actually get all the apparatus.

Women are generally caregivers and once she understands that you need a good whipping from time to time and that you feel more comfortable and secure having been taken anally, you would be amazed at how willing many women are to meet your needs. 

Of course, and this should go without saying, you need to be all the man you can be. Working hard, earning, staying in shape and alive to the world. Part of finding the woman you want and need is being the man she will want and need. It sounds basic, but good grooming, nice clothes, good shoes and an elegant - but not needlessly expensive - watch

Remember, long before the discipline and the pegging and whatever else you need, the reality is that you have to enjoy the woman who will be in charge and, more importantly, she must enjoy you.

Good luck!!

Thursday, 28 November 2019

The Season

We live in Canada where we celebrate Thanksgiving a month and a half before our American friends but we actually have a special dinner for American Thanksgiving. Nothing complicated, just a leg of lamb, duck fat fried potatoes and, this year, an apple pie made from our own apples for dessert. It is an easy dinner and my maid Mady is off duty and joins us.

Of course, the day after Thanksgiving is Black Friday, the official kickoff for Christmas shopping. We're lucky enough that we own pretty much everything we need but, as we live in a semi-rural place it is incredibly handy to be able to buy things online and have them shipped to our door. With 30 days until Christmas I can't wait to buy a few non-necessities for Mady and elliot. Even if you don't need Amazon Prime all year, this is a great time to take advantage of their 30 day free Prime deal. And if you do you'll be able to read elliot's Kindle books and my Kindle books for free.

Even when you have pretty much all you need there are somethings which are always welcome and which a good husband will buy without being told.

Stockings: If your wife wears stockings - and I hope she does as they are so flattering - you cannot go wrong buying her a few pairs for Christmas. Now, if I had all the money in the world, I would wear Cervin silk stockings daily As I don't I just wear them for special occasions, for every day I like the Cervin non-seamed stockings.

Gloves: Leather gloves, especially long fine leather gloves are wonderful to have, I have a couple of pairs and I am always delighted to get another pair for Christmas. A spectacularly beautiful, over the elbow, Italian made glove can be a fetish in itself and, until elliot bought me these gloves a couple of years ago, I had no idea he would be so excited to be whipped while I was wearing them. Men are very strange.

Silk Slip or Night Dress: I am always delighted to find a silk nightie under the tree. Remember the cardinal rule of nighties - they have to be comfortable and that means plain. On the other hand, I like to dress Mady to keep elliot amused and aroused and a shortie nightie when she brings us coffee in the morning will ensure his little cock is hard as can be in its chastity cage.

I will add a few more shopping suggestions to this list but, right now, I have to dress for dinner and I hear my sweet Mady drawing my bath.

Tuesday, 5 November 2019

Beginning as an ultra high end courtesan

escort, courtesan
As my readers know, I am fascinated with women who take their sexual power into their own hands whether it is by taking charge of their marriage, becoming a mistress or exploring the world of the courtesan.

I have been at work transcribing the story of Amy Jenkins, banker by day and, well, being tutored in the art of the courtesan by Miss Charlotte Corday the leading lady of the night in a small, rather wealthy, East Coast city.  The series is called "Only on a Tuesday" and the first book is available free at Amazon.com

Amy, as I have written, is a delightful woman entirely comfortable with the life she has chosen and the many rewards it has brought her. In this first book, she is displayed for one of the gentlemen who will become a patron in her future.

Saturday, 19 October 2019

The Dominant Mistress

I had a wonderful letter from Christine who lives in a medium-sized American city:

Dear Miss Jay,

What fun it is to read your blog and your books because, in a way, they are about a part of my life which I keep very discreet but enjoy immensely.

A little about me. I just turned thirty have a college degree in history and a good job at a very specialized employment agency. Very 9-5, very conservative, quite well-paid but, honestly, a little boring. I'm single by choice and, while I occasionally date, likely to stay that way for at least a few more years.

I am quite pretty. Brunette with my hair cut into a short bob. Fairly tall at 5' 7" and nicely proportioned. Which is where this discreet part of my life begins. After college, when I was working retail and trying to make ends meet, I did a little modelling. Nothing all that glamourous but the camera likes me and I am a bit of a free spirit. Once I got to know a photographer or a guy with a camera, I was more than willing to make more money doing lingerie shoots and, for even more money, semi-nude work. I was very strict about the fact that my more risque work was not for publication much less for the internet and my photographers have honored my wishes. It was a fun thing to do on a Saturday afternoon and while I didn't make a fortune, it was all in cash. It bridged the gap until I found my current job.

I had thought that I would give up modelling when I got a better paying job but I had a group of regulars and why give up a couple of thousand dollars a month so I kept going. And I began to branch out into the "fetish" world. Corsets and stockings and high black boots. I guess because I am brunette I always seemed to be cast as the "dominant" in these sort of shoots. The blonds were the girls being tied up, I was doing the tying. Which was tons of fun.

I have to admit I never really thought about any sort of dominance in a sexual sense. I knew there was such a thing but really thought it was about sadistic guys in the 50 Shades of Grey sense. But I read a bit, Gloria Brame's Different Loving was a revelation about dominance and submission and that led me to reading quite a bit online and, eventually, to your blog and elliot's first book, A Man In My Position

My fetish modelling gave me the chance to play a little with these ideas and I created a bit of a persona, Miss Christina complete with her own black leather corset and fetish outerwear. Some of my photographers were more than a little excited to be giving me expensive kid leather pencil skirts or long black leather gloves. One guy had a bit of a boot fetish and I had two pairs of thigh-high, black leather, high-heeled boots. Plus all sorts of props like riding crops, canes and a cute little leather paddle with a very special handle.

"Miss Christina" was much in demand of a Saturday afternoon because a lot of these photographers were, rather obviously, not so much interested in the "shot" as the fantasy. I was willing to play ball because I liked the money and I enjoyed the persona. While I was not "Miss Christina" she was certainly a part of me.

Miss Christina continued to be booked and one man, in particular, could be counted on for two or three bookings a month. Kevin, obviously not his real name, was a very nice, if timid, man in his fifties. Not bad looking and delightfully generous. He told me he loved buying me nice things and along with a few bits of fetish wear kept me in glamourous silk stockings and pretty cashmere sweaters (which he liked me to wear without a bra).

After a shoot Kevin would often take me out for dinner. Nice restaurants, no expectations. It was interesting because he really wanted to have dinner with Miss Christina but was "settling" for me. Miss Christina only existed in the photo studio. Which we talked about. A lot.

One evening, after a particularly successful shoot where Miss Christina had tied up and lightly caned that week's little blonde submissive, Kevin was very worked up.

"What if I set up a private studio for Miss Christina?" he asked.

"What for?"

"Well, I thought you might accept me as..."

"As what, Kevin?" I asked. "I know you have a lovely wife, children and, frankly, I don't see how having a studio would change that."

"Well it wouldn't," said Kevin. "But, perhaps, you could be Mistress Christina a few hours a week."

"That would be very expensive," I said hoping to kill the idea.

"Oh, that really doesn't matter," said Kevin. "My little company is doing very well."

"Let me think about it," I said. "Could the studio be a loft where I could live?"

"Sure."

"And you do know that mistresses get allowances."

"Yes, Mistress," he said.

"Not yet, you naughty little man," I said laughing. "I said I'd think about it."

"Yes, Miss."

We booked for the following weekend and I thought about it.

Not much to think about really. I would get a nice place to live and an allowance and Kevin? Well, Kevin would find Mistress Christina waiting for him a couple of times a week. I'd need to be a bit creative about which paces to put him through but I was certain I would think of something.

So off I went and I found a very nice loft which had a decent sized, out of the way, space in the back where Mistress Christina could construct her lair. After our shoot the following Saturday, I took Kevin to meet the agent and he signed a two year lease. I got the keys right there and the agent left.

I looked at Kevin.

"Strip. You are never in your street clothes in my domain," I said.

He did what he was told and was soon standing in the middle of the bare, white painted space with a very erect penis of rather modest stature.

"Oh, your poor wife. At least I don't have to pretend to enjoy that little thing. Get down on your knees, chin on the floor, arms stretched ahead of you,"  I said. "I will start as I mean to finish. Will marks be a problem at home."

"Yes Mistress, but there will be times when they won't," he said.

"Then I will try not to leave any," I said bringing the strap down on his pale white bottom. Not terribly hard but with a snap. The slap of the strap echoed off the bare walls. "I am going to need some furniture."

"And a decent allowance. You'll write a number down after your punishment and you better hope I accept it because otherwise, you are going to have a real punishment," I said bring down the strap as punctuation. "You never want a real punishment. Ever."

I want on like this until his bottom was just this side of bruising. His erection never waivered.

"Still hard I see," I said as I finished. "So write down that number."

"Yes Mistress," he said as I handed him a pencil and a piece of paper. He wrote a gratifying number as I was sure he would.

"Done, payment tonight. You can phone transfer it when I am done with you. Now jerk off onto the paper," I said. I had planned that part.

"Thank you Mistress," he said.

"Well, I want to have dinner so jerk that little cock off quickly," I said.

"Where?" said Kevin looking around for what, privacy, a tissue?

"Right here, on the paper," I said. "On your knees. Like every week from now on. Start jerking."

"But..."

"Oh, you're worried about your little mess. That's what your tongue and your mouth are for. Clean up. And, maybe, if you are very good, someday my pleasure," I said.

The power of words is amazing and Kevin shot streams of cum all over the paper and the floor.

"Lick," I said. "And don't miss a drop."

He did. Then he dressed, transferred the money, and then we went to dinner.

I teased him over dinner about his sore bottom and his humiliation on the paper. But I was also very sweet as I negotiated a clothing allowance and hair care and a few other things.

I do wish I had read your Modern Mistress before the conversation but I did pretty well.

That's how it started and, honestly, it has been pretty much the same sort of thing every week for two years. I have him come over and clean my loft in a pretty maid's uniform I had him buy from Amazon. Then a foot massage and then, if he is very lucky, he might be told to lick.

Typically, I give him some sort of physical correction and once a month, when his wife is on her period and unlikely to want his attentions, I will give him a good caning and leave welts.

We've never discussed what he wants. The very point of being a dominant mistress is that, like a dominant wife, what he wants does not matter. It is what I want that counts.

Now, you have to keep it interesting and, for three years, I have been threatening to peg him. He wants that a lot and he'll get it. The last day he is with me which is a while from now but he does not know that.

As a dominant mistress I am exclusive. I have no other submissive men. But I do like men, real men with real cocks and, once in a while, I will tie Kevin and gag him and put him in my bedroom closet when a boy fucks me hard. Something Kevin knows he will never be allowed to do. I leave the door open just a crack so Kevin can see what he will always be missing.

Kevin seems to enjoy our time together. He's renewed the lease, raised my allowances and keeps giving me pretty things. I like being spoilt.

Please keep doing your blog and your books,

Christine

----

I wrote back,

Dear Christine,

Lucky you!

I really do think that every woman should spend a bit of her life being "kept" and pampered and enjoyed. But you combine that with the female dominant role that so many men crave.

Lucky Kevin!

Reading my mail there are so many men who want to submit to a lovely woman but simply cannot find her. Kevin did and, I suspect, could not be happier.

One note, never worry about his wife. You are actually doing her a huge favour. You are not about taking her man away, rather you are giving him what he craves so she can go on with her life.

It is a grand bargain and keep raising your allowance.

Enjoy!

Hannah


Tuesday, 20 August 2019

The Elegant Mistress

A year ago to the day I wrote,

"Now, with older admirers, that is the very last thing they want to hear. Instead, make it clear to them that they exist to ensure you have the nice things like silk chemises, real silk stockings, a really good vibrator and the pampering you deserve. Wonderful food, the occasional short vacation and what Holly Golightly referred to as "Powder Room Money" are all to be expected. Nice things in blue boxes never go amiss.

A girl can be just as in charge with a man old enough to be her father as with a younger man. Those handcuffs will come in handy. But with older men, a girl does not have to be quite as stingy with her favours and good behaviour and really wonderful presents can be the occasion for a controlled ejaculation. The dynamic is very different.

I'll return to the subject another day. But, right now, it is cocktail hour and I'd hate to be late."

What I was referring to, of course, was that wonderful opportunity which smart girls, especially in their twenties, have to become a mistress for a few years.

No, not the boots and leather corset kind of mistress - though that can be fun too - rather a young lady who is "kept" by a wealthy, usually older man. I have written extensively about this quaint but delightful halfway house between escorting and the dating/marriage world. (I'll put the books in below. A couple are free today.)

It takes a self-possessed girl to succeed at being a mistress because there is a subtle but very real power dynamic involved. The fact is that almost every mistress relationship is a female led relationship to a greater or lesser degree.

I discuss this dynamic at much greater length in my book Modern Mistress: Lead the Luxury Life you Deserve. Put in simple terms, a woman who becomes a mistress is trading her time, attention and favours to her patron for "the finer things in life". What those things are - an allowance, rent paid, a clothing allowance, a car, vacations - are all a matter of negotiation and it is the mistress, not her patron, who takes charge of that negotiation.

Part of the dynamic is that the prospective mistress has something her patron wants. That something goes well beyond sex. If it is just a transactional sex for money situation then the girl is not really a mistress at all. She is stuck somewhere between escort and sugar baby. In both those situations, (with few exceptions which I talk about in my book on elegant escorting, Avails: Escorting for The Elegant Woman) it is the male who holds the power and, being men, in that situation the relationship is usually very fleeting. Even the most successful sugar babies seldom last three months, whereas a man's relationship with his mistress can last years.

The key to this longevity is that, from the moment she meets her patron, through the negotiations and on into the relationship, the mistress takes charge. Both in the bedroom and in the rest of their time together, a clever mistress takes the lead. She does this by doing something many women are diffident about: she owns her sexuality and makes it clear from the outset that it is her sexuality and what she chooses to do with it, which drives the pleasure matrix in the relationship.

Obviously, it is not as one-sided as the total control a dominant wife maintains over the sexual life in her marriage. Most patrons would be unimpressed with the requirement of prolonged chastity for example. But that does not stop a clever mistress from keeping her patron, as it were, hungry.

Finding out what a man really desires and then teasing him with possibilities sets a mistress apart from her less adventurous peers. Because it implies that a mistress is more than willing to meet those desires head on rather than coyly as many women feel bound to do. 

A mistress keeps her patron transfixed because, unlike with many of the other women he has been with, she is sexually aggressive rather than passive and her sexual favours are not conditional. Far too many women use sex as some sort of reward for their husbands or boyfriends. Completion of the "honey do" list gets a husband a blow job. For the mistress, assuming that her patron ensures her comfort, sex is part of the bargain and a part she embraces.

Spending a few years as a mistress in your twenties very quickly expands a woman's perspective on the world, on men and, most importantly, herself. As I gather the interviews with the women in the Mistress Matrix, I was struck at just how much more mature and self-confident these, often quite young, women were. Part of it was, of course, money. Compared to her contemporaries, a well kept mistress has much lower expenses and a much greater disposable income for what amounts to, in most cases, all of five to ten hours a week of actual face time. Another huge part of it was that these girls realize early on that their success as mistresses depends on being the sort of beauty their patrons desire. Glossy hair, great skin, perfect nails - even a slightly mousy girl is transformed as she embraces the mistress experience and has the money and time it takes to glow. 

Add to that the time at the gym or swimming and generally being physically active - mistresses don't have muffin tops and the money to buy really lovely clothes and, very quickly, a girl gains the real power beauty confers. A woman in full.

It is only for a few years but being a mistress is the perfect preparation for a woman who wants to lead her own marriage.

Here are the books:



A complete guide for the Modern Mistress. How to advertise. How to negotiate your monthly allowance. Treats and gifts. 

How to look glamorous and very expensive. Sex tips - enthusiasm, technique and a nice pair of stockings. The Modern Mistress's apartment, wardrobe, lingerie, sheets and refrigerator: a complete guide.

Plus a guide for patrons to avoid getting caught and why the Modern Mistress is a wife's best friend.

A sexy, fun and provocative guide to the good life for girls who demand to be spoiled.

Kindle Book for all ebook readers: https://amzn.to/2ZbWUeY





Five star reviewed author Hannah Jay has written the definitive guide to high end escorting with her “Avails: The Elegant Woman’s Guide to Escorting” and the ultimate guide to paid companionship, “Modern Mistress: Lead the Luxury Life You Deserve”, has interviewed literally hundreds of up market escorts, mistresses and courtesans. In this first volume of “Money Sex” she brings fifteen top escorts’ stories to life.

The very best lingerie for a pay for play date? The real secret behind graceful, professional, blow jobs? What expensive girls do to prepare for pleasure? Why do girls escort? Miss Jay’s interviews are sexy, smart and revealing.

Super luxe girls, in their own words, talking about their first time, the men they like, the clients who keep coming back, the tricks of the trade.



The Mistress Matrix





What would the first night as a wealthy man's mistress be like. Zoey is about to find out. 

Everything needs to be perfect right down to her pretty lingerie. Nick was going to have the night of his life and, even though this was just a business arrangement, Zoey wanted to be the sort of girl Nick would keep coming back to.











Chris becomes the mistress of a very nice man with a tiny problem.

She solves the tiny problem and brings home the Birkin.

The pleasures of a kept woman in Book 2 of the Mistress Matrix.











FREE TODAY!

Sage Hart wasn't really looking to become a mistress but a hundred foot sailing yacht and her own slutty nature let her accept and indecent proposal.

When Sage decides to be the ship's mistress she makes sure her Captain is teased and pleased. Lots of great blow jobs, a pleasing spanking, and good old fashioned sex including great anal. 

Sage is a versatile girl. A lady in a restaurant, slut on the aft deck and a willing whore in the Captain's cabin.

Sunday, 30 June 2019

The Governess

dominatrix, pro domme, dominant woman
I am revising my book Avails: Escorting for the Elegant Woman and ran across this interview with a rather serious professional dominatrix. Not my thing at all but I thought it might be of passing interest to my readers:


The Governess – Donna, a Serious Domina

Donna is in her thirties and works as fetish escort in a large American city. She also has international clients.

“When I first started escorting I was drawn to what you might call “dress up” dates. Lots of fun and very easy. But, gradually, I found that a lot of my clients were looking for more.” she said in a Skype interview.

“I worked in a professional dungeon for a year and discovered that I was a natural switch and that I got very bored very quickly in the traditional dominatrix role. “Yes Mistress, No Mistress.” gets old fast. So I started looking around for a niche which combined an element of domination with a character who could help differentiate me in the fetish market. And, I must admit, I wanted a character where I didn’t have to spend an hour putting on a black leather corset and extreme make-up. The Governess was born.”

“My whole role is to be in charge. Where an escort traditionally tries to pleasure her clients, I make my clients humble themselves to me. At the same time, instead of conducting my business in a dark fake dungeon with whips and chains and assorted bondage furniture, I have a lovely loft overlooking the river. Mainly white, very high ceilings and great windows.”

“I advertise very discreetly. Most of my ads are only one or two lines: sometimes they are just a word, “Governess”. The men who want my services know what that implies and I don’t want any clients who require an explanation.”

“Escorting always has an element of role playing. After all, those girls are not seeing their clients because they are possessed by desire; but the clients who use escorts seem to believe that they are the one man on earth who actually isn’t business but rather lust. My clients are under no such misapprehension.”

“One thing I learned working at the dungeon was that more than half the clients for a domina escort are really there for the play acting. The silliest toy in the world is the suede flogger. I have seen fly swatters with more ommmph. But that is what the majority of the dungeon’s clients wanted. They wanted to be helpless but safe, flogged but with no marks.”

“However, for a small minority, this sort of play-acting was exactly the opposite of what they were actually looking for. To find a woman who was very strict and very real was worth a great deal to them.”




“Taking on the role of the Governess is not at all like a standard escorting situation. First off, there is absolutely no sex. Second, the encounters tend to be quite lengthy. Two hours minimum but, realistically, four hours works better.” explained Donna.

“I have a website but it is mainly a private site which you have to have a login to access. You get the login by getting in touch with me and sending $100.00. Just enough to discourage triflers.”

“Once you are logged in you are required to fill out an application. Real name, real address, references. And then you also are required to complete a questionnaire about your preferences. It is quite a long questionnaire and several of my clients have told me that there are items listed they have never heard of.”

“Once I have checked references and read the questionnaire I make a decision as to whether I am willing to take on a particular client. I have a flat fee for the initial session. It is actually quite reasonable and many of my clients are surprised that such an exclusive service is not more expensive.”


We asked Donna why she did not charge more. “Unlike a lot of escorts, I have far more clients who want to see me than I want to see. My second and subsequent encounters cost twice as much as the introductory session and many of my clients tip very generously. My view is that the Governess is not an escort service for everyone but that for the clients who understand what I offer it is an indispensable part of their lives. I can and do charge more for my international clients but I prefer to keep my rates at a level essentially comparable to those of a good corporate lawyer. $750 an hour or $2500 for the typical four hour session is more than enough. I book a maximum of six sessions a week so you can imagine I do quite well.”

We asked Donna what she actually did in her role as the Governess. “When a client comes to my space I greet him in character. Preliminaries are dealt with. An envelope on the hall table and then he is sent to the shower. This gives me time to count. You learn some things as a vanilla escort.”
“I am not going to go into detail but I can tell you that virtually every session begins with my client immobilized in a stress position in a very small, dark, sound proof, closet I had custom built in my loft. It sets the tone.”

“I have a couple of pretty basic outfits I wear in session: either a very fitted pencil skirt and high heels and a white cotton blouse or black jodhpurs, riding boots and a white silk blouse. My hair is pulled back. I wear a bit of red lipstick which matches my nail polish. I never take my clothes off so it doesn’t matter what I have on underneath.”

“The Governess is strict. She is demanding. She has many punishments and few rewards. It is almost the precise opposite of the typical escort date and it is also much more intense than a typical S/M dungeon encounter.”

“In a sense,” said Donna, “I could wear anything and actually do anything because this is not a dress up date, this is the real thing. My role is to train the men who see me to do exactly what they are told when they are told to do it. And to do that I punish far more often than I reward.”

“We suggested that this really sounded like a dominatrix escort date. “You asked about the difference between a dress up date and a role play. Most dominatrixes are just dressing up. Which is what their escort clients want them to do. Those clients are there for the illusion of powerlessness. A good domina can create that illusion but that is all it is.”

“What I offer, to a very select clientele, is the reality. That is the Governess’s role.” said Donna, “Let me give you an illustration. At the dungeon, at the end of the session, I almost always stepped back into real life with the client and we’d have, perhaps a cup of tea and review what went on. It was part of the service. It put some distance between the experience in the room and normalcy. We actually called it decompression.”

“When a client is finished his session in my loft I have a room where I have his clothes. It’s pitch black. I put him in that room and close the door. Then I lock that door and turn on the lights. He leaves. It is very real and he is usually very relieved and grateful. The way the room is set up it exits into a corridor which he did not come in through. It is quite disorienting.”

Sunday, 20 May 2018

Is a Female Led Relationship "Natural"?

Here is another question I am asked a lot,

Is a Female Led Relationship "Natural"?

It is but understanding why and how is actually pretty important to having a successful FLR.

The actual dynamic in an FLR is powered by a couple of facts which have fallen out of the popular conversation about male/female relationships. The first fact is that men and women are significantly different. Physically, psychologically and, for want of a better term, hormonally there is simply no comparison between a man and a woman. The second fact is that men and women think very differently. 

Camille Paglia, a cultural critic for whom I have a lot of time, controversially said, "If civilization had been left in female hands we would still be living in grass huts." And a friend of mine added, "with really nice curtains". Here is the thing, women want extremely simple things: a home, nice clothes, security, a bit of luxury and a sense of being valued. Men want different things, here again Paglia, "Men know they are sexual exiles. They wander the earth seeking satisfaction, craving and despising, never content. There is nothing in that anguished motion for women to envy."

According to Paglia, and on my own observation, men generally, and especially alpha men, tend to be on a permanent hunt for something they are sure they want but can't quite identify. What, in fact, they are looking for is a woman who will take them in hand, put an end to the hunt and redirect all that wasted energy. 

To end the male "hunt" a woman has to combine three or four elements of control and discipline. Approached head on, there is simply no way a woman can control, much less discipline a man. She cannot physically subdue him and asking him to comply takes away her authority because it means her authority is contingent on his consent. Consent which may be withdrawn at any time. (I suspect one of the reasons why FLRs often end after a couple of months or a year is because they have been based on consent rather than surrender.)

A dominant woman is not dominant because she is bossy or bitchy - in fact, many dominant wives enjoy being the quiet "power behind the throne". A dominant woman is, however, in charge. She makes the decisions in her marriage or relationship. But how does she get there?

In a very basic way a woman leads a relationship because she has provided her man with the answer to the questions which lead to Paglia's "sexual exile". Male sexuality, especially alpha male sexuality, begins with the adolescent's inchoate horniness. The need to get laid, somehow, overwhelms almost everything else in the adolescent male brain. And this is a need which, unless put under control, will drive men well into their sixties. 

In my research for my books on high end escorting (Avails: Escorting for the Elegant Woman and 
Money Sex: tales from the luxury lives of high end escorts, mistresses and courtesans) I interviewed literally hundreds of women who, quite rightly in my view, make excellent money catering to the unresolved needs and urges of well to do men. Escorts and mistresses wouldn't have clients and patrons if men were able to actually find what they so desperately need. The fact is, however, that these highly skilled, highly paid, women don't end men's sexual exile, they simply make the prison more comfortable.

The one thing which stood out in my conversations with sexual professionals was the fact that, to really be a great escort or mistress, a woman has to be able to "take charge" of her date or her patron's visits. While her client may think he is setting the agenda, the escort is, in fact guiding him and using his eagerness to suit her own ends. The mistress does much the same thing but over repeated encounters. Yes, the clients and patrons are looking for secual release, but the higher end girls and the beautifully dressed mistresses are well aware that this is only one of the things their clients need.

Men tend to confuse their sexuality with their much broader set of needs. A wonderful encounter with a highly skilled escort is almost never about the sex. Rather it is about men being given permission to drop a whole set of masks and illusions and come directly to the point with a woman who has also dropped the pretences of the social construction of sexuality. The escort or mistress almost always takes charge of the date and almost never is coy about asking for and getting what she wants. Over and over, the girls told me that the real trick to their tricks was to convince their client that he had fulfilled her desires.

Which brings me to the "natural" question. In point of fact, men are in sexual exile because they think that their pleasure, their release, is important to their completion and fulfilment. They are released from exile when they are given and accept another goal: a woman's pleasure and completion.

For a wife or girlfriend the issue is not making her man a better or more considerate lover - save that for the self-help books. Rather the issue is re-aligning his perception so that he begins to understand that he is happier and more complete when he is able to meet the goals she sets for him. Men are terrifically competitive and goal driven. 

Once a woman understands how men generally, and her man in particular, work. What their needs really are and how much they want and need a woman to take charge, it is a very simple and very natural progression. Taking sexual possession of a man is no more complicated than giving him exactly what he wants, enthusiastically, and then setting boundaries and requirements for "more". And they always want more. If a man knows that he will have his fantasy sexual encounter in a week, if he locks up his cock in his chastity device and if he pleasures his wife just right during that week, he'll lock himself in. If he knows that his girlfriend will throw herself at him if he works hard and well, but cane him if he's lazy, you can bet he'll work very hard indeed. 

At the outset of a relationship or a marriage, a smart woman will use her sexuality to first enthrall and then control her man. As part of that she'll introduce the idea of discipline and punishment for his lapses. As he accepts each of these steps he will, gradually and willingly, surrender to the woman he loves. That surrender is the most natural thing in the world.