Wednesday, 16 September 2015

Advice for FLR/male chastity Beginners

A Wife's Work is Never Done
I received this charming letter a day or two ago.

Good afternoon Miss Hanna,

Hope you're doing well.

We are moving along with our FLR quite well. I've had my lovely wife read a few of your blog post. She is not to keen on spanking/caning me for punishments. She is trying to figure out another type of system. Will see how that progresses.

We received our cock cage we ordered from your Amazon page. Love the softness and lightness of it. I have a couple metal ones and this is much more comfortable.

Couple of questions regarding it.

1. What type of lubricant does he use to slide it on? I've used a lotion and I've tried lube. Any other suggestions?

2. My wife is hesitant to keep me in Mine for long periods. Right now it's on from when I rise till we got to bed. She is concerned that I might effect the size of penis and that there could be a number of other complications.

Appreciate any advice/tips you can provide.

I wrote back,

Dear X,

How lovely of you to write. Specific questions first.

elliot is not allowed to use lubricant for his cage. What we have found works well is to fit the cage after a cold shower or - where I want it on immediately - after immersing his cock - but not testicles - in ice water for a few minutes. (We keep his balls out because they have a nasty tendency to retract right into his body if exposed to ice water very long - something your wife may want to think about by way of punishment.) As well, elliot has found that the slit in the front of the cage will admit two fingers allowing him to pinch his little cock head and pull it up to where it belongs.

I keep elliot locked for weeks at a time. It has had no appreciable effect on his little cock. It was small to begin with and remains small. That is one of the great advantages of the silicone cage, it really can be left on more or less permanently. Of course, hygiene is important but elliot showers and bathes in his device without any difficulty. You may, however, want to upgrade the lock as the cheap Chinese ones which come with the cage can rust. I make a point of never telling elliot how long he will be locked up and he is now reconciled to rarely being allowed out.

I was very much like your wife when I started. I just could not imagine using a cane or a bathbrush on elliot no matter how much he deserved it. What I did not realize then but do now is that a well whipped husband is a happy husband.

When we were first starting I didn't really understand that elliot has a deep need to be obedient and disciplined. He actually gets quite cranky when I have not whipped him for a week or two. And it is important to actually hit a decent level of pain. Two dozen half hearted strokes with the cane really don't scratch elliot's itch. Much better to warm him up a little and then really put my arm into it. A half dozen strokes which produce real welts ensure that he gets the full benefit of his punishments.

Women tend to be very gentle by nature and it does not come naturally to them to properly correct their husbands. All I can say to your wife is that practice makes perfect and you get better at correcting your husband by doing so regularly. A good whipping weekly, whether he deserves it or not, will let you get over your perfectly reasonable reluctance.

And, of course, Tad, as a locked man in loving submission to his wife, you need to ask to be punished. At our house we follow a modified Spencer Spanking Plan. That link will explain it. We have modified it in the sense that only elliot is whipped.

Now, as you know reading out blogs, I am a big believer in corner time as well as whippings as required. It takes just a second to pop off my panties and send elliot to a corner for a little mindfulness time. Best of all, the world is filled with corners and, even at a party or at a neighbour's if I think elliot needs correction I can, discretely send him for a time out in the washroom. Best of all, I can say, right out loud, "If you keep that up you're going to the corner" and no one need be the wiser. Because people never actually think it means what it so clearly does.

Your wife might also consider making you wear panties or a girdle or, indeed, a bra and girdle. Nothing puts a man more firmly in his place than good, firm, foundations. For quick corrections, a set of nipple clips are very handy. If you don't have any try out a few alternatives - clothes pegs will work, the plastic are more intense than the wood - so will bulldog clips but make sure you put plenty of nipple in the clip to spread the force. A little imagination can create all sorts of fun.

And that is a key thing: leading a marriage should be fun both in the bedroom and outside. To tell the truth, once I took control both out lives improved a lot. And, frankly, since elliot has been in his chastity pretty much full time, our sex life - well my sex life really - has been much better. Now I can have elliot get to work for my pleasure without giving a thought to reciprocating. He is grateful to be allowed to rub my feet or massage my back until I tell him to stop. And he really does scoot off to his corner when I want to have an orgasm in private. Which I do, often.

So let you wife read this letter and see how you make out. Keep me posted and if your wife has any questions she is welcome to write.