Drained

I get more than a few letters and some offer wonderful insight into female led relationships. I thought this letter from "Cindy" in Canada was an interesting take on an alternative to male chastity.

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Dear Hannah,

I have read with great interest your posts on male chastity both on the honour system and using a male chastity device. I completely agree that a properly disciplined man should not be able to ejaculate without his wife's permission but I have an alternative to chastity.

I should begin by saying that we are a younger couple, very outdoorsy, into fitness and our careers. My husband, Robbie, has a high stress job and I discovered, early in our courtship, a very high sex drive. He likes sex a lot. So do I, but not nearly as much as Robbie.

Even before we were married I realized that this could be a problem and I looked around for solutions. In general, we are equal partners in our marriage which is how I prefer it. At the same time, Robbie needs to be able to come home from work and not have to make many decisions. In fact, he is rather naturally obedient and prefers to be told what to do. Which is fine by me as I like to be a bit bossy and I don't like back chat. I suppose you could say that we have a female led marriage but mainly we have a marriage where I am in charge and Robbie does what he is told.

If he doesn't he knows I am not at all shy about sending him to our room for a time out or getting out the shower brush - and how he hates the shower brush - and punishing his tight little bottom hard. But that does not happen often.

In the bedroom, I am absolutely in charge and have been since we first had sex well before we were married.

The trouble was that Robbie was so highly sexed that from about our third date he was pushing for sex. I realized that this was just his nature and that if we were going to have a successful marriage I would have to come up with a way of handling that.

Sometimes giving a man what he wants works very well and on our fifth date I invited Robbie into my apartment. He thought he was there to have sex and was incredibly excited. His lovely cock was totally erect coming in the door. I sat on my couch and he was getting ready to sit beside me.

"No, Robbie," I said pointing to a spot a couple of feet in front of me. "I want you to stand right there."

He did what he was told.

"Now, dear man, I think we are doing beautifully as a couple," I said. "You are kind, gentle, funny and you seem to be falling in love. But you are way too pushy about sex. I love being made love to but I am not going to be pressured into it. So you are just going to have to wait."

Robbie shrugged, mumbled "OK" and made a move towards the couch.

"Where do you think you're going. I told you to stand where you are. I am not done yet," I said with a little edge in my voice. "Right now I want to watch you ejaculate. Here's a tissue. Now get cracking."

Yes, it was a bit of a high risk move. He could have refused or tried to swing me around but my read of Robbie was he'd do what he was told. I was right. In a moment or two his rather large cock was out of his pants.

"Well, get on with it," I said savouring his obedience. "Just like you do at home."

Robbie got to work and in not more than a couple of minutes his cockhead turned that amazing purple colour men's cocks sometimes do and he ejaculated. I realized I'd have to get bigger tissues.

"Very good, Robbie," I said. "And good boys get treats."

I unbuttoned my blouse and unclipped my bra. "You can come over here and suck on my pretty nipples for a little while. Just leave your cock out. You are not finished."

About five minutes later, Robbie having demonstrated that he needed a bit of work on his nipple technique, I could see that his cock was getting hard again.

"Stand in front of me Robbie," I said leaving my breasts on display. "You obviously like my pretty nipples. Which is wonderful. Now I want you to ejaculate again for me. Get to work. And when you are done I want you to put your cock away, kiss me good night and go home. Without a word."

He did as he was told, made a mess on his tissue, kissed me and left silently.

Perfect.

The next morning, quite early, I texted him. "Thank you for a wonderful evening. Now, in your shower, I want you to think about my pretty nipples and ejaculate."

I sent him another text when I knew he was taking lunch. "Go to the washroom and make your little mess."

We were meeting for drinks after work and my sweet Robbie was positively glowing when I sat down.

"You are the sexiest woman I have ever met," he said with a smile. And here's the thing, he had stood up when I came to the table and he made it clear he was waiting for my permission to sit back down. Which I gave with a nod.

We have not looked back. I am totally in charge of his ejaculations. Three or four or sometimes five or six a day. I'll tell him or text him and sometimes I will demand a little video of his performance. Of course, when I want to have sex, I taper him off a little so he is extra eager. I've also trained him never to come in me without asking my permission and he knows I will often deny that permission.

The fact is that his cock is as entirely under my control as if it was in a cock cage. Which is what matters to me. And, of course, if I am busy or forget, well he knows that any ejaculation without my supervision and instruction and the shower brush will be bruising his bottom. I swing hard.

So, there you go. There really is more than one way to control a cock and the man it is attached to.

Hugs,

Cindy

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Dear Cindy,

How clever of you. It really is all about control. An obedient husband should not need a cage, though they are rather fun. But I love the idea of giving an oversexed man what he wants, good and hard.

Enjoy!

Hannah

City Husband, Country Wife

One of the best parts of running this blog has been the correspondence I have had with other dominant wives. Every female-led relationship evolves in its own way and it is fascinating to see how other women create the blend of discipline, chastity, obedience and nurture which can bring out their submissive husband's best self.

Cara and her husband Terry have worked out a wonderful way to balance a need for discretion with a wonderful transformation. But I will let Cara tell her own story.

Dear Miss Jay,

I adore your blog and your books - not just A Man in My Position and the other dominant wife material - but also your wonderfully detailed and open minded exploration of how powerful women can maximize their potential as escorts, or, my favorite, mistresses. (The retro smut you have elliot publish I give to my Terry as a special treat.)

I suspect I was drawn to your work on the interesting nexus between sex and money because I met Terry when he was my escorting client. Though I use "escorting" in a very loose way. I had a small business catering to cross-dressers and transvestites (and if you can tell me the difference my hat is off to you, but it was very important to the men I saw.)

Believe it or not, I got into the business when I was a make-up and special effects artist. I spent my days making pretty girls prettier and, from time to time, making them scary. It was a good living and a lot of the sets I worked on paid a cash bonus. On one of these shoots a model I knew slightly asked if I could do a friend of hers make up for a party. I said sure and thought nothing of it. We arranged to meet her and her "friend" at her apartment the next day. Well, like more than a few models I knew, this girl supplemented her modelling income with pay to play encounters and her "friend" was a client who wanted to "Walk on the Wild Side". It took a little doing but I managed to create a passable impression of a woman - but he walked like a trucker. I spoke to my friend who agreed and then I suggested that, if he wanted to, I could offer him some "training" as well as the make-up and clothes. He jumped at the chance and my model friend told me later she had two other clients who wanted this sort of feminization and it was not her thing. And she had friends in the business for whom crossdressing clients were actually a problem. I was launched.

I would only see three or four clients a week, charge a high fee and make a "best efforts" attempt to let them appear and behave as women. I say best efforts because, realistically, very few men have much hope of "passing" for a woman but they seemed to have fun trying. My sessions were quite long, two hours minimum, often four.

Most of my clients were very regular and, once they had done their introductory appointments, I laid on a program of deportment, skirt management, high heels training and so on. There was no "sex" of course. However, at the end of the appointment, if they had been very good, I would tell them to go to the little girl's room and make a mess in their panties which they then had to lick clean before hand washing.

The key insight I had into these men was that they all were, to some degree, ashamed of their need to dress as women. And, here was the thing, they enjoyed the shame and humiliation of having to put on lingerie, foundation wear, wigs, breast forms, false eyelashes and so on. If I didn't tease them, demand instant obedience and tell, not ask, them to put on their "pretty" clothes they would be disappointed in the session. They wanted to be "forced". And yes, I did threaten to spank my naughty boys and, occasionally, it would be necessary as part of a session to paddle or cane a client quite severely. Of course, "quite severely" was a very relative term. The objective was to create a reason for the client to comply with his own humbling - which was the very thing he wanted.

Men! What can you do?

In my case, I charged a lot of money, built up a remarkable collection of plus sized lingerie and outfits - my clients, as part of their training, were required to purchase these items and bring them to their sessions. This all took place several years ago but even then you could get everything from side zip girdles to breast forms to plus size high heels at Amazon. You could even get the correct "gaff" panties to keep every little thing in its place.

It was all part of the ritual and the ritual was very important to my clients. For a few hours, they were going to be "forced" to be female. In a couple of years, I actually had a waiting list.

Terry was a referral from one of my model/escort friends and I saw him really as a favour. He was pretty run of the mill as clients went and I was just going through the motions as I corseted down his waist and put on the breast forms. For cross dressing, Terry was lucky. Not only did he have a gender neutral name - Terry swings both ways but he was almost hairless and was small boned if a little plump in places. The very opposite of "buff". With the corset giving his already quite tight waist a lttle shape and the "C" cup breast forms in place in a lacy black I had him slip on a pair of black satin tap panties. He was a natural blond with a rather nice full head of gently wavy hair. Rather than put him in a wig, I put in hair extensions I happened to have. Light make-up, really just a very transparent foundation, mascara and eye shadow plus a light pink lip and he was done. I clipped semi sheer compression stockings to his garter tabs. (Pro-tip, compression stockings help shape a man's leg and hide any hair which a first timer is likely to have. Plus they feel as if you are actually a naughty boy wearing stockings.)

A simple pencil skirt and sheer blouse and a pair of modest two inch heels and Teri was done. By this point I had done transformations for a fair number of men. A few, a very few, could pass after several sessions. Teri stood up and walked over to my three way mirror. He was a little awkward in his heels but, honestly, with a bit of practice, it would be very had to tell. He had delicate wrists and his Adam's apple was inconspicuous and could be made more so with a bit of reverse contouring.

"Wow," was all he said as he looked at himself in the mirror. "I never thought I would be this pretty."

He was not wrong. Unlike many men Teri suited the longer hair, the makeup, the clothes. We practised walking in heels for a little while and then I had him make and serve me a cup of tea and one for himself. It all seemed perfectly natural. As Teri he was quite feminine, funny in a slightly exaggerated girlish way and rather flirtatious. It was quite a long session and I had him change into a shorter skirt at one point. He was naturally rather modest and went behind my screen rather than showing off his lingerie. Eventually I said I had another appointment and Teri went behind the screen and undressed and came out in the lacy ruffled lilac robe I kept for clients; makeup and hair still intact.

"Come here," I said, "Open your robe."

He did as he was told and stood in front of me his little cock - and it was quite small - naked and erect. I reached out and took it in my hand.

"You enjoyed dressing up as a girl didn't you," I said gently pumping his cock.

"Yes, Miss," he said.

"And you'd like to do it again wouldn't you Terry?" I said pumping a little faster.

"Oh yes Miss."

I could feel him coming very close and I let go of his cock.

"Good. I will see you next week. Now get dressed."

He was, I suspect, a bit disappointed that I had not taken him to completion but I had other plans.

He arrived the next week and we did much the same thing. I was a bit more prepared with sizes and I had a surprise for him at the end of the session. I had him, once again, undress from his girl clothes behind the screen and came out in the peach robe I had bought him.

"Terry, when you left last week did you go home and ejaculate?" I asked holding his hard little cock firmly.

"Yes, Miss, twice that night and two or three times a day since. I can't help it," said Terry.

"I thought so," I said. "That won't do at all. Girls don't masturbate the same way as boys so we're going to have to make sure you behave. Now, here's a tissue. Jack yourself off for me."

"Yes, Miss," said Terry as he began to pull on his cock.

"Faster, I don't have all day," I said which was all it took to send plumes of sperm out of his purplish cock head. "Now, go over to that corner with my panties (I am a huge fan of corner time for men.) and hold them in the corner with your nose."

Terry did what he was told and ten minutes later I called him back. As I suspected he would be he was just as hard.

"Now, I could whip that erection away or put that naughty little cock in ice water until you get soft; but instead, jerk it again. Quickly," I said handing him a dish. "Every drop in the dish."

It took a little longer this time but in a couple of minutes there was a nice dollop of cum and several drops and strands decorating the china dish.

"You know what you have to do, Terry," I said looking at the dish. "Lick up your mess."

It was a test he passed eagerly.

"Good boy," I said reaching around for the package I had received air express.

"Now, Terry, good girls always ask for permission to masturbate. Which I know is hard for girly-bois so I have bought you a little gift. Turn around and put your hands behind your back," I said. I took a pair of handcuffs and clicked them locked. "Turn around."

Terry obeyed and I opened the box the male chastity device came in. "Do you know what this is, Terry?"

"No Miss."

"It's a cock cage. You'll be wearing it when you are not in lady's clothes," I said putting the pink silicone ring around and behind his balls. Then, using my fairly long but nicely squared fingernails, I reached under the head of his cock and pushed it into the silicone cage. He was soft enough that it was easy to get most of his cock in the cage and push the holes over the pegs. I reached through the little slot in the end and grabbed the head of his cock with my nails to pull it all into the cage. Then I slipped the padlock through the short peg and clicked it shut.

"There you go," I said. "All tucked away and I have the key. Now you can get dressed and I want you to pick me up for dinner on Thursday. Seven o'clock. Dress nicely as I am taking you somewhere special.

Two months later we were married in a civil ceremony. I wore a lovely 40's suit, seamed stocking and a pretty, veiled hat. Teri was dressed in a light linen jacket, a pair of side zippered linen trousers, cute loafers, his cock cage for lingerie and his now longer hair pulled off his face with two butterfly barrettes.

I took him back to my apartment, had him put on his nightie for bed and then gave him a good hairbrushing to set the tone of what has been a long and happy marriage. As you can imagine, having been kept in his cage for the three weeks before our wedding night, he was very anxious to perform his marital duties. I, on the other hand, thought that could wait for our honeymoon and enjoyed Teri's girlish tongue on my throbbing clit.

We were honeymooning at a small country house I owned about forty miles from the city we live in. I drove. Teri had changed into her going away outfit. Nothing elaborate, a day dress in a fine grey cotton with a little, to the waist, black jacket. Corset, girdle, bra and breast forms, hair extensions in and nice day make-up as I had instructed her to.

"In the country, Teri, you are always going to be en femme. Most weekends, two or three weeks a summer. Will you like that?" I asked when he had agreed to marry me.

"More than anything," said Terry.

"In the city you have your job so you can't really be who you like to be. Or, at least, not yet. But you'll be a country wife which will be fun for you and fun for me."

"Yes, Miss Cara," said Teri.

"After we're married you will not have to call me miss anymore," I said. "And in the country, you'll wear your pretty gaff panties rather than that nasty old cock cage."

Which was exactly what happened.

Teri has taken to the world of a 1950's housewife with a vengeance. She's always beautifully dressed, her hair is perfect and she is wonderfully obedient. She was, I must admit, a little taken aback when she discovered that I was going to give her the whole experience by having intercourse with her every Saturday night with a strap-on.

"Do I have to?" she asked?

"Of course you have to," I said. "But unlike those poor girls in the fifties with just the one cock, I have a number of dildos which will fit my harness. We'll start you off like a virgin with something small but hard and work your pretty back pussy up to big cocks."

Which is exactly what we did.

During the week, while Terry is wonderfully submissive and attentive, other than his panties and camisole and his cock cage, he is allowed to present as a slightly effeminate man. As soon as he comes home from work on Friday he showers, is let out of his cock cage, gaffed and then changes into his weekend attire.

Our neighbours in the country think we may be lesbians but we simply keep them guessing.

We've lived this way for a few years now. I am still a make-up artist and I still have a select cross dressing clientele. Terry is not in the least jealous. Even if he was, a good wife, and Teri is a very good wife, knows when to keep quiet.

Summer Fun

elliot always looks forward to summer as I let him out of his chastity device most of the time. While comfort is a consideration, I also think it reminds him of his position. So, of course, does his testicle weight which remains firmly in place.

Mady, my maid, also enjoys the relative informality of summer. She is allowed to wear lighter, summer weight, corsets and I encourage her to dress in pretty summer dresses. She is a lovely young girl and there is no reason at all that she should not enjoy the male attention a pretty dress usually brings.

While I thoroughly enjoy cocktails on our patio and my own array of light, well tailored linens and cottons, I also see summer as a great time to finish projects. Yes, my book on Female Led Marriages is coming together. Taking far too long but that is largely because my own thinking has evolved as I have written.

When elliot and I embarked on our female led marriage I was not at all certain that being a dominant wife was something which would extend much beyond the bedroom. Now I know that the bedroom is only a small part of a female led marriage. I was also more than a little skeptical about people claiming that feminine superiority was, in fact, a very natural ordering of the relations between women and men.

It is an ordering which, while I had not realized it before embarking on my work on courtesans, high end escorts and mistresses, naturally emerges whenever women are sexually empowered. All of the women I interviewed were either explicitly in charge of the men who were paying them for sex or exercised that control implicitly. It is the essential difference between the poor girls who are sexually exploited and the young ladies who are happy to spend time with gentlemen in exchange for generous allowances or high fees.

Marriage and long term relationships remove the transactional effect but the principle remains the same. Men surrender some or all of their sexual (and often, their financial) autonomy so that their real needs are met. A dominant wife takes her husband in hand, often well before the marriage ceremony, and creates the balance and the calm he needs to reach his best self.

The theory that men remain immature well into adulthood explains the need most men have for a firm female hand to guide them. Simply controlling a man's ejaculations is a huge step towards his acceptance of his proper place in your marriage and in the world. Once a woman is in charge, her husband will be more affectionate, responsive and eager to please.

So, this summer, while elliot enjoys having his little cock out of its cage and Mady attracts all sorts of male attention, I will try to get my book finished.

But, just for fun, here is another short "Mistress Matrix" book. It will be downloadable free from about midnight Pacific time.

Backdoor Birkin

Chris becomes the mistress of a very nice man with a tiny problem.

She solves the tiny problem and brings home the Birkin.

The pleasures of a kept woman in Book 2 of the Mistress Matrix

Available at this Amazon link.

Is a Chastity Cage Essential to a successful Female Led Relationship?

Here is another question I am often asked about female led relationships:

Is a Chastity Cage Essential to a successful Female Led Relationship?

I talked about male chastity itself in an earlier answer. The fact is that one of the key elements of a female led relationship is the control of the male's sexuality. In all its forms. The dominant wife or girlfriend takes charge of her partner's sexuality as both proof of her dominant position and, just as importantly, because it is the most powerful tool she has to shape, discipline and refine her lovingly submissive man.

Ah, but do you have to lock up his little cock?

A few years ago I would have said no. But since I got elliot's first cock cage and then made the decision to keep him caged nearly all the time, I have changed my thinking a lot on the question.

I certainly think the honour system of male chastity can work for couples but the physical reality of putting your husband's cock under lock and key changes the dynamic in quite profound ways. All to the better I might add.

Restricting and controlling the male orgasm is a key element to ensuring that a man is paying close attention to the needs and desires of his wife. However, actually locking up your partner's cock and leaving him locked up for significant periods of time, alters his perspective in very important ways.

Remember, from puberty onward, your husband or boyfriend has been able to masturbate at will and to become erect for any number of reasons. A well-fitted cock cage takes away his right to masturbate and makes erections, without permission, either impossible or acutely uncomfortable. The honour system for male chastity leaves control of your husband's cock in his hands. Locking his cock up, puts the keys and the control where they belong, in your hands.

Symbolically, a cock cage is huge for the obvious reasons. However, practically, your man's submission is re-enforced every minute of every day. For example, most men prefer to pee standing up. A man in a cock cage will almost always find it easier to sit down. A locked man will still experience his morning erection but it will be a very different experience. Instead of a sort of warm horniness - often leading husbands to want sexual release before you've even brushed your teeth - a cock cage will send an instant morning reminder about who is in charge. If you have a morning routine worked out a painful erection will send your husband off to make coffee, shower and return to your service.

Being required to wear a cock cage is also a humiliating reminder for husbands and boyfriends that they have given up their sexuality to the woman they love. Now, elliot works at home and always has, but when he has to take meetings, his cock cage and ball stretcher are a constant reminder of his submission. Obviously, he is never going to be unfaithful when he is locked in his cage, less obviously, he tries to avoid any sort of sexual response at all because getting hard is not actually an option.

Leaving a submissive man uncaged means he retains at least some control over his sexuality. Men in general, and submissive men in particular need to have very strict limits set on their sexuality. For a dominant wife having her husband put on his cock cage and then locking it puts a hard limit on his sexuality. For as long as she chooses her husband is, effectively, neutered.

And all the better for it.

In fact, even men who are not in female led relationships can benefit from the control and humility a cock cage affords. Simply ordering a cage and locking up your own cock is an excellent first step in accepting your submissive nature. Finding or hiring a woman to hold your keys is the next step. Asking a girl out on a date when your cock is in its cage changes the dynamic of the relationship right from the go. As a submissive male you are not going to initiate sexual activity in any case but if the woman decides she wants to move ahead intimately, you will know you will have to tell her about your cock cage and ask her if you could please her in other ways. It is, of course, her decision but as more women realize they prefer to be the dominant partner you may find that your caged cock is actually very attractive.

Update: A number of people have written to ask if I thought all men should have to wear cock cages all the time. It is a wonderful, if wholly impractical, idea. While I have no doubt it would do men and women the world of good if men were all required to have their cocks locked up that is not going to happen. However, there is no reason at all that men, both inside and outside FLRs cannot voluntarily accept the control and discipline of a cock cage.

And wouldn't it be fun if men who have accepted the demands of a chaste life in the service of women could wear a discrete symbol of their general submission? And, yes, I am thinking of a little key pin. Imagine how delightful it would be to see a gentleman wearing such a pin and knowing that he was locked up and that he has accepted the proper male position. Imagine how delightful it will be to pin your obedient husband knowing his cock is locked up. (I've already ordered elliot's key pin.) And, of course, imagine, as a submissive male, properly locked up wearing your key pin and knowing that a select few women (and, of course, your fellow chaste males) know your actual position.

Calm and then a bit of Amusement

A little later I am going to sink into the lovely hot bath Elliot will draw for me. I have this month's big thick Vogue Magazine and by that point a glass of bubbly wine will be a delight.

I suspect I'll send Elliot to his corner while I am in my bath. It will, I'll bet, be a welcome relief to peel off the girdle he's been wearing since the beginning of the month. Next week, until he loses those pesky last five pounds he'll have to wear the firm girdle during the day and a lighter girdle to bed. Those last few pounds are always the hardest to lose and Elliot needs incentive.

I am leaving the question of locking his little cockette up to my readers. I have this rather elegant cock cage on my wishlist at Amazon. If you want Elliot to be locked in chastity under his girdle all you need to do is click on the link. I don't think he'll like being locked up but I think it is something I would like to try on him. Needless to say he has no choice in the matter and I will be instructing him to post this on his blog as well.

So now, another couple of hours of work and then the bliss of a bath and then, if he's lucky, I suspect I will indulge myself before cocktails with his very clever tongue and my stylish vibrator. (By the way, I cannot say enough nice things about this vibe. It is simple, elegant, powerful and sleek. I've had it for years and while I have other toys this is the one I require Elliot to bring to me most often. As a piece of humiliation magic, having your husband bring you your vibrator and then have to go and stand, naked, with his back towards you, hard as a rock in his corner listening to the purr of the vibe where his tongue has just been is fabulous.)

Once he has got me wet I'll have him put his girdle back on and fix hors d'oeurves. He has not come for ages and I think I might let him over the weekend. But not before cocktails.

What Fun

Taming the little snake

Every so often I like to have Elliot masturbate into his little cup. This is especially true when I am planning on having him for my greater pleasure in the not too distant future. I could milk him but having him make his little mess himself is all the more humiliating and entertaining.

As he pulls away on my little cockette I play a little with his nipples which gets him wonderfully hard. I was telling him that now that the cooler weather is coming we'll be able to really settle into our routine. Lingerie clips on his nipples for cocktails, our lovely, heavy, nJoy Stainless Steel Wand up his bottom after his bath, his wearing pretty slips to bed...

Then I pinched his nipple, hard, and he came.

"Now Darling, you know what you have to do."

He put the little cup to his lips and licked it clean. It will be a delightful Fall and a wonderful Winter.

Is Masturbation Cheating

Over at the always amusing Denying Thumper blog there is a lively discussion of whether or not masturbation, in the context of a female led relationship, is "cheating". Thumper himself has his cock caged by his wife, an expedient I have considered but decided against with Elliot. It is an interesting discussion. Here's my contribution.

While I don’t keep Elliot locked up he is certainly not allowed to touch himself without my express permission. As for his bottom, I save that for special occasions and milking. Pegging him is not something which I particularly enjoy though he seems to.

If we ever get another maid I suspect I will pass the pegging off to her.

The question of whether masturbation is cheating does not arise in our house. Elliot is supposed to do what he is told. If I have not told him to pull his little cockette into his cup and he does he is being disobedient and will be whipped. I have expressly forbidden him to act on any of his sexual desires. At my house there is only one sexually active partner, me. He has no sex and never will again. He has embraced this as part of his submission. Elliot knows that even asking violates his sexual submission and will earn him a quick and serious correction.

His natural erections are controlled most of the month by a good, stiff, panti-girdle. He may get them but I never have to see them. On the rare occasions I want penetrative sex I will give him a little tablet to ensure he can perform as I require.

I have to say it is wonderful fun to see his eyes light up when I leave his tablet beside his wine at dinner. But even that is no guarantee. Sometimes I will simply have him lick me to orgasm and have him put his girdle right back on over his pretty, hard, little cock. He never knows. He just does what he is told.

Preparing the Ground

I haven't been spanking Elliot nearly enough recently. Partly because he has been very good, partly because I have not felt like it. But he has been working very hard and, I fear, is a bit grumpy. Can't have that. So he needs to be whipped.

Now, the truth is that he loves being whipped when he's been chaste for a week or two. Rush of hormones and all. But I want him to get the full benefit of his delayed whipping. So I had him stand beside our bed, his cute white cotton nightie tucked out of the way, and I made him masturbate into his cup, drink it and go to sleep.

he was only allowed a minute of two to make his mess. I love rushing him. He gets some pleasure but not nearly as much as when I use his little cock for my greater pleasure. In any case, he obediently came, didn't spill a drop and drained his cup - which he doesn't like much - when I told him to.

Now, when I whip him tomorrow he'll really feel the cane with none of those built up sexual hormones to take the edge off. It actually made me quite excited to think of him dropping his jeans and lying across our bed ready to take his stripes.

It will cheer him up no end.

Quick Pull

I am always a bit torn between keeping Elliot chaste or regularly milking him. Well, not me milking him you understand. There is none of that sort of thing at my house; but having him masturbate into his little cup as I am dressing is often fun.

I think he likes it when I tell him to "Hurry up and make your little mess with your tiny little cockette."

He can tug himself off in less than two minutes and is delightfully docile for the rest of the day.

And grateful.

Living with a Dominant Wife

A surprising number of my reader don't realize that I have had my submissive husband write a book about his life in our female lead relationship.

It's great fun with the poor darling taking his corner time, humiliating female under clothing and, of course, his whippings with grace and grimace. In fact, now that we have been living as dominant wife and submissive husband for nearly six years, he understands his position perfectly. He has even accepted the fact that, at best, he's allow to come once or twice a month but still has to be hard for me when I want greater pleasure. It is such fun to have him make me come and then push into me for a dozen or so strokes only to be denied. I mean who wants the mess. So much cleaner for him to masturubate into his silly little sake cup.

In any case...buy the book. A second volume is in the works.

Chastity Girdle

One of my delightful readers has purchased the pretty little girdle shown above from Amazon.

While it is actually a butt lifting girdle and, I have to say, makes Elliot's little tush look most inviting, I use it for light chastity purposes. The open back allows for easy caning but it is wonderfully tight and flat in front

While Elliot is wonderfully obedient and I think well trained, I just don't want to be bothered with his little cockette most of the month. I can have him masturbate but I usually like to whip him prior to allowing him to come. Which takes a bit of time which I don't always have.

Putting him in this light chastity girdle means it is difficult, but not impossible, for him to get hard. I don't mind him being hard but he is forbidden to touch his cockette in any way without my permission. I rarely give that permission and this little girdle reminds him of his position.

It is wonderfully inexpensive, $7.95 plus shipping, and I have half a dozen of them. Three are small, for real constriction and three are medium so he is confined but not too uncomfortable.

With the backless design he has no choice but to sit to pee. Which I require in any case.

Even after his whipping and my letting him come, my darling husband is still very eager for sex. I'm not.

Like many women I have a cycle of desire; but unlike my girlfriends who feel they have to "service" their husbands even when they are not at their sexual peak, as a dominant wife I can just ignore my darling's urges until I am ready.

Over the years I have taught him to accept his chastity as his natural state. He has been trained to only come when his nipples are clamped tight between my fingernails and to regard his maintenance whippings as essentially the closest he gets to sex three weeks a month.

But during the one week I am in the mood he knows my satisfaction, my pleasure, always trumps any chance he might have at completion. If he pleases me, is completely obedient, then, for my greater pleasure and after I have come, I sometimes let him take strokes in my pussy. And, once in a while, I will pinch his dear little nipples and let him make his mess inside me.

But not often. It has taken quite a while to train him to accept the fact that in our marriage only my sexual feelings matter. I don't want to ruin his training so he'll just have to wait. But I might grant him his wish and send him to his corner with my wonderfully scented panties.

Always time for a Whipping

The lovely Jerry Hall once remarked that if you had five minutes you have time for a blow job...perhaps if she had used a cane she'd be with Sir Mick today.

My darling has written up his maintenance whipping over at his blog. I will only add that having him kneel, ask to be punished and then lie down and accept anything and everything which I decide to give him is incredibly erotic. Watching the lines form on his still tight little butt and then slashing in the welts I know he adores is delicious. As is making him masturbate his little cock and then lick his cup clean.

I left with a smile on my face and, I fear, there will be more hand washing when I get home.


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I wanted to remind our readers that if you would like to get one or more of our books "free" you can click on this link and sign up for Amazon Prime. You get 30 days free and during that time you can "borrow" any of our Kindle books for free. We have published over 40 books and you can get the entire set free as a Prime Member.

We would also like to thank all of you who have ordered books, pretty stockings, a couple of very strict paddles, a perfect prostate massager and all sorts of other things (and, by the way, get a harness for this) through our Amazon links.

You can Wait

I promised my sweet man that I would give him a blow job. Now, truth to tell, I actually enjoy sucking his cock. It is not terribly big which makes it easy to take all the way in my mouth. Nor is it all that thick which also means it is quite comfortable to blow him.

But, and it is an important but, our rules are that he pleasures me. I only let him come very occasionally and then, mainly, into his little iron sake cup. Very occasionally I let him come in me but usually he must content himself with a few thrusts immediately after I have come, which I desperately desire and insist on.

I don't think I have given him a blow job to completion for a couple of years and I am not sure I will now. I don't mind the taste of his sperm but I don't like the fact I am not in full control.

So I suspect I will lick and suck him for a little while until he is close and then have him come, by his own hand, into his cup while I pinch his nipples. He has been very attentive and I want to reward him but keep him wanting to please me.

And, for Heaven's sake, it is New Year's Eve and I'll tease him a little by flirting with my old sweetie of a landlord. Perfect.

A New Year's Treat Starting tomorrow for a couple of days a number of my sweetie's books are free on Amazon Click here Free Kindle Erotica and to get the books we've published you can look under his author name "elliot jay"

All the Best for 2014!

Well, Get Down There

I have been feeling wonderfully, sexually, alive these past couple of days. One of the perfect things about a female led marriage is that we only have sex when I want sex. And we only have sex the way I want to have sex.

These past few days I have wanted to be licked. I have trained my sweet, submissive, husband to lick my pussy just the way I like it. I rarely let him finish of course. When I come I prefer to use my own hand after he has kissed and moistened me. He loves to watch. And then, if he is lucky, I allow him to slip into my wet, throbbing, pussy. Maybe to come, usually not.

But yesterday morning, after he had pleasured me for a while with his obedient and skillful tongue I decided I wanted my privacy.

"Take these panties and go to your corner...make sure you are hard when I am finished."

I have to admit that the sheer power of sending my husband to his corner to press my wet panties with his nose pushed me over the edge. I left him in his corner, hard, longing for me. I had to get on with my day.

"You can let your little cock go soft now, Dear. I won't be needing it. But stay in your corner until I am done in the bathroom."

Pleasure

What fun. My daring husband is back in chastity for a few weeks. But I was feeling a little frisky. "Turn off the light, I'm having an orgasm." Of couse he obeyed and lay beside me. Hard, longing, as I fingered myself to completion. "All done. I'd like a glass of ice water with a little lime." He looked so cute with his little, hard, cockette pushing against the sheer cotton of his nightie. I'll have to have him start wearing his panti girdle to bed soon. Don't want any accidents. A husband needs to know his place.