Saturday 1 September 2018

In an FLR what is the difference between discipline and punishment?



femdom, FLR, dominant wife
This is actually a great question about Female Led Relationships:

In an FLR what is the difference between discipline and punishment?

As the head of the household a dominant wife is responsible both for setting goals and boundaries and for ensuring that her expectations and directions are met. However, she is also responsible for creating the conditions in which her husband finds it easy to accept and enjoy his submissive position.

For the dominant wife to create those conditions she must be comfortable exercising her authority. Tell, don't ask. Setting standards, requiring respect and obedience. These are all essential to a successful, long term, FLR. However, men are astonishingly literal creatures and a smart woman asks for and receives tokens of her husband's submission. These are the simple disciplines of an FLR and they can range from plain good manners, doors held open, rising when a lady enters a room to more fundamental requirements.

For example, while I keep elliot locked in his cock cage most of the time, I will, occasionally, have Mady lay out a girdle for him to wear during the day or overnight. A good, firm, very utilitarian, long leg panty girdle in nurse's white reminds him exactly of his place. Being forced to wear such a constricting garment is deeply humiliating and "discipline" in its most basic sense. The discipline of doing what he is told and then having to wear something both feminine and somewhat uncomfortable for a few days at a time is very, very good for elliot.

The entire point of disciplining a man is to gradually, but inexorably, break him to his wife's will. While many men may, somewhat reluctantly, submit to their wives, the truly dominant wife will settle for nothing less than complete surrender. A surrender which will include chastity in most cases, the adoption of the wife's sexuality as the only sexuality within the household, and a willingness to do exactly what he is told. It is on this base of a man's unconditional surrender that the new world of a female led relationship is constructed.

In some female led relationships discipline will include regular maintenance spankings, or, more realistically as a woman has quite a difficult time putting enough force into a hand spanking, regular sessions with a hairbrush, or bath brush or even a cane. For many husbands, knowing that they will be whipped once a week whether they deserve it or not, it a key element in achieving and maintaining discipline.

I discussed punishment in an earlier post. There really is a huge difference between discipline and punishment and it is vitally important that a dominant wife understand that difference. Punishment is administered as needed to correct specific disobedience, inconsideration or outright defiance. In my view, even a hint of disobedience needs to be met with immediate and very painful consequences. There is nothing light or restrained about a punishment whipping because, in fairly short order, you want your man to be genuinely afraid of being punished. You have to be prepared to punish your husband or boyfriend for his, and the relationship's, own good.

Where a maintenance session may be quite painful and a bit unpleasant for your husband it will also be somewhat predictable. A couple of dozen swats with the bath brush is quite endurable if more than a little stingy. But when you strap your husband down for punishment he should have no idea at all what he will have to endure and for how long.

In fact, one of the biggest differences between discipline and punishment is that your husband will almost never be restrained for his discipline whereas it is often important for a husband to be restrained for punishment so that he is absolutely clear that he is helpless. Something as simple as a few zip ties (or this double handcuff zip tie) can make your husband's position very clear to him. I am, frankly, not a huge fan of more elaborate bondage in the FLR setting. Too many men have complicated bondage fantasies involving lots of expensive props and leather. If you are restraining your man you are doing it to punish, not please, him.

While a good whipping is often all it takes to correct bad behaviour sometimes you want to set a reminder for a few days or weeks. For example, while I keep elliot in a 20 mm, 340 gm ball stretcher because I like the look, I have a punishment stretcher which is 40 mm and 690 gm. I am now using magnetic versions of these devices. If elliot has to wear both and his cage he has over a kilogram of weight crushing his poor little testicles. A day or two of that and he knows he's been punished.

The point of punishment is to respond to and correct bad behaviour. Which, in turn, keeps a man mindful of his position and the discipline he has accepted in his FLR. Over time most dominant wives find they are only rarely required to punish their husbands. Because their husbands have learned the often painful lesson that there really are consequences for bad behaviour.



4 comments:

  1. Wow, I was just writing about this on my blog today. hehe. I am just starting to get into blogging and I want to say your blog is so well constructed. Very nice to read as well. I will for sure keep reading here and LOVE that I found your Blog, thank you for posting something like this. It gives clarity to what I was talking about.

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  2. I dream of such a relationship as you describe. There is nothing better than living under the authority of the woman you love.

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  3. My wife rarely punishes me, even if I've done wrong she will sometimes ignore my wrong doing completely, or so I think at the time. Then out of nowhere when I think she has forgotten I will receive a very harsh even brutal punishment, sometimes resulting in pain and bruising for up to a week. Sometimes she will correct me immediately, especially for answering back, with either a hard slap to the face or being hit with anything that's to hand at the time. So I never know how and when she will react to my bad behaviour, and this has resulted in me being a 'good boy' as she would say, most of the time. You are definitely right, there is a difference between punishments and discipline

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  4. My wife disciplines me when I do something wrong. I get spanked most of the time it's OTK because she feels it's a more loving way to discipline me. If I swear I get my mouth washed with soap the an OTK spanking then she says I might as well clean out the other end too and gives me a 2 to 3 quart enema. Sometimes after a spanking she will take me with her punishment strap on which a a lot bigger than her normal strap on she uses on me. Some times for punishment after a spanking I will be sent to my room or I will be grounded for a period of time and a few times after a spanking she made me wear a 2 piece bikini and took me to the beach. I usually always have to do corner time and yes I have been locked in a chastity cage full time for about 15 years and I haven't had sex with her for almost all that time although she has sex almost daily because she has me pleasure her orally which I love doing.

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