Labour Day Celebration

From midnight Pacific time for Labour Day my lovely husband's second book of stories of our female led relationship Obedient Husband is free for Kindle.

We'd love reviews and, for those of you who have related blogs, we'd very much appreciate it if you let your readers know about this free offer.

But just on September 1.

What Fun

Taming the little snake

Every so often I like to have Elliot masturbate into his little cup. This is especially true when I am planning on having him for my greater pleasure in the not too distant future. I could milk him but having him make his little mess himself is all the more humiliating and entertaining.

As he pulls away on my little cockette I play a little with his nipples which gets him wonderfully hard. I was telling him that now that the cooler weather is coming we'll be able to really settle into our routine. Lingerie clips on his nipples for cocktails, our lovely, heavy, nJoy Stainless Steel Wand up his bottom after his bath, his wearing pretty slips to bed...

Then I pinched his nipple, hard, and he came.

"Now Darling, you know what you have to do."

He put the little cup to his lips and licked it clean. It will be a delightful Fall and a wonderful Winter.

Husbands can be annoying

Much as I love Elliott, like every man on the planet, he can be annoying. Yesterday he, without really thinking, said something more than a little snarky. I was a bit insulted but, more to the point, frustrated at his thoughtlessness.

Now, most of the wives I know would have to suffer in silence or, at best, they would have "words" with their husband. Which, in my experience, rare solves anything. I carried on with my very busy day and, just before cocktails, said to Elliot, "Go upstairs and get my cane."

I think he was surprised but he did what he was told and brought me the long cane.

"Go and drop your trousers and lie over the couch." I said and he complied.

"I will not be spoken to disrespectfully." I said having worked out what I wanted to say over the course of the day. "And I will not tolerate thoughtlessness. You understand that?"

I think it is important when you are punishing your husband that he acknowledges his error and your right to punish him.

"Yes Miss." he said rather weakly.

"And you know I will whip you every time, without fail, that you are thoughtless."

"Yes Miss."

"Because we both know that you need your corrections just to remind you to think before you speak."

"Yes Miss."

I gave him eight medium strokes. He would have taken eighty had I decided he needed them but the humiliation combined with a little pain was more than sufficient.

When I was done Elliot pulled up his pants and served my wine. The little cloud which had hung over our day was gone. He was put in his place.

I am not saying every woman should whip her husband but, honestly, I suspect if more did there would be much less divorce and many more happy marriages. Men, if truth be told, need a firm hand almost every day if they are to love, honour and obey as they should. Being able to discipline, train and, if need be, punish Elliot let's him know his position and know how much I love him. Not for everyone but works for us.

My Submissive Husband's Book Free!

A Man In My Position

A Man In My Position (The Well Tempered Husband)

OFFER EXPIRED....We'lll have something else soon.

For the next 36 or so hours my sweeties first book about beginning his life as my submissive husband is free on Amazon. Click here to get it.

Training: Denial? Or Control

One Sexuality in Marriage - Wife's choice

Another set of notes towards my guide book In Charge: Domination for the Elegant Woman

Denying sex to your husband or boyfriend is a bit more complicated than simply crossing your legs and saying no. This because a dominant wife wants much more than every woman's right to, from time to time, decide not to have sex. In fact, sexual control in a female led relationship is a fundamental mark of the husband's submission and when it becomes an integrated part of the submissive husband's psyche it is no longer denial but simple, humble, obedience. He will still long for you but, at the most basic level, he'll have learned that his sexuality has been entirely subsumed to yours.

Which is where we start. Take it as read that male sexuality is pretty continuous at whatever libido level a particular man happens to have. Some men want sex all the time, others just most of the time. However, exogenous events can have remarkable effects on a man's desire. Success raises his libido, stress or failure depresses it.

Now, an elegant woman is never going to marry a man with the sexual continence of a bonobo monkey - which is to say none at all. During her dating years and courtship she'll have determined if a man has odious sexual habits and eliminated him from contention. But a sexually continent man is not the same as a sexually submissive or obedient man. That is a matter of training.

Training should always have a clear objective and, in this case, a dominant wife aims for complete sexual subordination.

A few years ago I came across a wonderful letter in Petticoated,

I am not allowed to masturbate. She believes that male self-gratification is a form of infidelity that robs the relationship of its essence and robs the male of his energy and desire to serve the lady of the house. It is different for the female as they have self-control and, therefore, she enjoys all forms of sexual pleasuring within our relationship. Typically, I am allowed a release no sooner than every 7 to 10 days and often I must wait 14 to 21 days. She notices that I become much more docile, respectful and subservient after 5 to 7 days following my last release. Often after pleasuring her, she simply tells me that it would be good for me to wait and that it would make her happy for me to save my sexual energy. Well, the days go on and on but not without my hope and anticipation and she always says "maybe tomorrow, if you are good." She believes that prolonged sexual frustration of the male is a positive attribute for a husband. A denied husband is an obedient husband. petticoated

For a while I thought that this was the goal - my sweet husband doing what he was told even at the cost of his own sexual frustration. But, in time, I realized that actually missed the point.

I realized that in an elegant female led marriage there can really only be one sexuality - the wife's. To talk about the submissive husband's frustration is to acknowledge the importance of the submissive husband's sexual desires even if the dominant wife choses to do nothing to relieve them. This is profoundly distasteful.

While men may have what they think are sexual needs, when they marry a dominant the very first thing they give to their marriage is any right to have those needs considered. The elegant domina does not want to have to spend her time saying "No" when her husband is begging for release. And an elegant husband never begs for anything. He accepts that only his wife's sexual needs count or matter. He is on her cycle and at her command. This is not a matter of negotiation.

When an elegant dominant wife makes that clear to her husband is a matter of choice. If I was advising a bride to be I would tell her that she owed to herself and the man that she loved to be completely frank before their wedding night. I would tell her that if she wanted to have sex on her wedding night she should set her wedding day when she would be on heat.

At the same time, many marriages evolve into female led situations. Here, one of the marks of the husband's submission should be a period of rigid chastity - either honour bound or in a cage - and that period should be repeated until the submissive husband realizes that all that his pleading does is ensure punishment.

Both newlywed dominant wives and wives who are taking on a new role should not be the least bit shy about enforcing the single sexuality in their marriage with the whip or cane. Each woman will be different but in every case the husband has to be taught and to learn that his sexuality is over except as an extension of his wife's.

It is a hard lesson but if woman wants to run her female led marriage with the sort of elegance and grace she would like to be accustomed to there can be no room for any hint of male sexual energy.

Clips

A lot of what I am writing about in my female led marriage for elegant women book is about subtly training your husband. Of course, initially you may need to use a very direct approach; but, fairly soon, he'll just crave your brief attention.

I clipped Elliott's nipples for cocktails tonight.Told him to make them hard for me and then snapped on the vintage lingerie clips. They are tight but not mean and Elliott loves the ritual.

Half an hour, after ten minutes in his corner and girdle... A very happy, submissive husband poured me my wine.

Amusing myself at Amazon

I am always amazed at the sheer variety of things which our readers buy at Amazon. Sure, there are lots of books about female led marriages. But there are also lots of books about submissive wives and dominant husbands - silly idea but you have to try it out before the natural order becomes apparent. Elliot is worried that this month our Amazon earnings are going to buy him the CB6000S chastity cage. Maybe, but I still have not decided whether to cage him or not...it seems to me that this is going to draw too much of his attention to his little cockette.

Enjoy this month's selection.

Things

CB-6000S Male Chastity Device

Sexy Botty Lift Boyshort Buttocks Enhancer Tummy Control Size XXLarge Black Girdle

CIPA 10800 Chevrolet/GMC Custom Pair Towing Mirrors

Whetstone 19-LED 2 Lighting Mode Camping Lantern

Crank Brothers Candy 3 Hangtag Bike Pedal, Blue

Books

Double Cross: The True Story of the D-Day Spies

How To Set Up An FLR: A Couple's Guide to Female Led Relationships

Taking Back Your Marriage: How To Get Your husband to Fall in Love with You (Again)

The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl's Guide to Female Dominance

Uniquely Rika

Kindle Books

A Husband in Hell - Part One of Two: When a Wife Wants More a Husband Might Just Get a Lot Less

A Man In My Position (The Well Tempered Husband Book 1)

Breaking the Girl: A Novel of BDSM Erotica

Corner Time (The Well Tempered Husband Book 2)

Dom's Guide To Submissive Training Vol. 2: 25 Things You Must Know About Your New Sub Before Doing Anything Else. A Must Read For Any Dom/Master

Dom's Guide To Submissive Training: Step-by-step Blueprint On How To Train Your New Sub. A Must Read For Any Dom/Master In A BDSM Relationship

Elicitation (The Training of Eileen Book 1)

How to Spank a Woman - The modern gentleman's guide to erotic female punishment

In Trouble on the Home Front

Obedient Husband: Elegant Female Led Marriage

Spanking the Maid

Stella Book 1: Female domination erotica only for broadminded adults

Stockings Tops (Retro Lingerie Book 1)

Subduing the Husband: A tale of Female Domination

Submissive Training: 23 Things You Must Know About How To Be A Submissive. A Must Read For Any Woman In A BDSM Relationship (Women's Guide to BDSM)

Submit To Her Will. A practical guide to establishing a successful female led relationship

Tarnsman of Gor (Gorean Saga Book 1)

The Cuckold's Guide to Good Manners

The Very Naughty Boy

Wives Who Spank (Spanked Husband Stories Book 1)

5 elegant ways to begin a female led marriage

Shall we begin Darling?

I am beginning to write my guide to female led marriage and, as I go, I will post drafts here. These are rough and will not likely be seen in anything like the same form in the book. The working title seems to be, "In Charge: Elegant Female Led Relationships" but I bet that will change.

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People and search engines seem to love listicles so why not? Elegant women like lists as much as the next girl.

1.     Sexual Denial – The fastest and most elegant way to indicate to your husband that you are in charge is to take control of his sexuality. In the beginning this means, I’m afraid, your husband will not be having much sex. And, realistically, as your dominance is accepted he will be having even less.

For the elegant dominant wife, marriage becomes about having her sexual desires catered to. Sometimes that means quite a lot of sex; but for many women, penetrative sex is, ideally, a once in a while thing. Usually after they have climaxed.

At the beginning, a dominant wife needs to make it very clear to her husband that, from now on, the only sexuality which matters in their marriage is hers.

2.     Rules – It does not matter what rules an elegant woman makes for her submissive or soon to be submissive husband. What matters is that there are rules.

These can and should start simply. Easy good manners. A gentleman rises when a lady enters the room. A gentleman holds her chair, pours her wine, fetches her smoked salmon. As a general rule, a gentleman never interrupts and never, ever adopts any but the most respectful tone in his conversations with the Lady of the House.

Most elegant women have already established these basic rules in their home so none of these should be difficult. After all, elegant women marry elegant men and elegant men have basic manners.

However, unfortunately, over time, even the most elegant man can forget himself and setting rules early reminds him of his place.

3.     Routine – A dominant wife needs to establish routines in her household. They need not be onerous, just constant. For each household these will be different however here are a few items which an elegant wife might expect her husband to follow:

                                               i.     clothing care – in the absence of a maid, a well trained husband can be expected to put his wife’s clothes away, iron as required and take care of her shoes, boots and bag

                                             ii.     handwashing – after his shower, a submissive husband should rinse out any panties, stockings or other lingerie his wife has left out

                                            iii.     chores – an elegant woman likes a clean house and, while she is more than willing to pitch in, her submissive husband can be expected to take care of a significant amount of the work. In particular, a well trained husband should clean the toilets daily, keep the sinks gleaming, vacuum difficult areas such as stairs. As well, there is no reason a husband cannot do simple things like run loads of laundry and fold the clothes in the dryer. (But be careful as many men have not the slightest clue on the laundry front.)

                                            iv.     basic home maintenance – most men, submissive or not, will take on the routine chores associated with the home. Fixing the squeaky hinge and such like. However, a well trained, submissive, husband will do this cheerfully and immediately.

                                              v.     mindfullness – it is a very good idea, early in a husband’s training, to set aside a few minutes a day for him to simply consider his position. It is actually good for a man to be forced to take even ten minutes from his hectic day, sit still, and think how grateful he is for his lovely, elegant, wife. I usually have Elliot do this as I change for cocktails. Sometimes I put him naked in his corner with my panties to press against the wall, other times I will put him in a very small closet and lock it.

The key thing about routine is repetition. Have him do much the same thing, at much the same time, daily or weekly. Men thrive on discipline and structure – the elegant woman knows this and makes sure she creates what her husband needs.

4.     Consequences – For the elegant dominant wife the question of consequences for mis-behaviour should not arise very often once she has habituated her husband to her direction. However, from the outset, consequences need to be made very clear and inflicted with a degree of authority and certainty. Here are a few consequences I have found effective, their exact implementation is discussed later in the book:

                                              i.     corner time

                                            ii.     closet time

                                          iii.     panty time

                                            iv.     girdle time

                                              v.     spanking

                                            vi.     paddling

                                          vii.     caning

                                        viii.     nipple clips

                                           ix.     pegging

                                             x.     caging

Any or all of these consequences can be quick and efficient. But in some cases simply sending your husband to bed will work to address a behaviour fault.

A consequence is tied to a particular piece of bad behaviour and reminds a submissive husband of his place. The duration and severity of a particular consequence is determined by the mis-behaviour but needs to be long enough and severe enough that your husband will think twice about repeating the behaviour.

5. Maintenance – there is considerable debate within the matrimonial discipline community as to whether a submissive partner should be disciplined regularly whether they need it or not. My own view is that most husbands benefit greatly from regular discipline which is a reminder rather than only being punished when they err. Keeping a husband to the mark through a combination of chastity, maintenance discipline and an presumption of total authority will let an elegant woman enjoy the man she so dearly loves.

A little tease, a little deny

A key element of being a dominant wife is that you need to keep your husband in a state of frustrated sexual optimism. He has to think, in the face of all evidence, contrary to all experience, just to keep things lively, you might want to have sex and you might let him slip into you and you might,as if, let him come in you.

Tonight I wanted a bit of mischief and told Elliot to go upstairs and take his tablet before going to bed. We'd had steak and potatoes for dinner and we have a running joke that this is the cue for a blow job. (If I can judge from Elliot's reaction on the very rare occasions that I do give him a blow job, I am rather good at it. My own view is that technique is less important than enthusiasm and my experience prior to Elliot confirms this. However, I only feel enthusiastic about twice a year so poor Elliot rarely has that pleasure.)

So there he was all tucked in wearing a nice, thin, cotton shift and hard as a rock. I took my time undressing and knew he was watching. In my nightie I got down at the end of the bed and reached up to take his hard little cock in my hand.

"Darling I know you would just love me to suck your little cock until you spurted right in my mouth but.... We'll have to wait until tomorrow at least because I let you come a few days ago and I am very tired."

As I said this I was firmly stroking his throbbing little cock faster and faster. I wasn't worried about his coming, he can't unless I am pinching his nipples. But I was enjoying the pre-cum leaking out.

I stopped. "Now go to sleep Dear and dream about how nice my mouth would have felt if I thought you were ready. Too bad you're not... I was thinking of swallowing...Sweet dreams."

I reached over him, making sure he felt my hard, erect, nipples brush over his chest, and tuned out his light. I wrote this and read.

He's still hard beside me.

Of course...

All excited

One of the funniest things about Elliot, and most of the men I have known, is that if they enjoyed something once they want to do the same thing again almost immediately. Elliot sent me all manner of sweet emails thanking me for his whipping and my using his little cock for my pleasure without letting him come. Which was delightful.

Just for fun, just before he served me cocktails, I bent him over the couch in the living room and tried out a few canes which had been in storage. Not at all hard and I could see it stung more than hurt because his cockette was standing on end at the end.

"You silly man...look at that ridiculous little cock all hard after your whipping. Well there will be none of that sort of thing tonight. Go up an put on a good stiff panti girdle and pour my wine."

He hastened to comply. But all evening he was pestering me for sex even knowing he was not going to be allowed to ejaculate. I am very seriously thinking of getting a little cage for that little cock while still keeping him on the low dose Viagra.

I sent him to bed early and told him he was sleeping in his girdle under his nightie which is a nice way of saying that there would be no activity.

(One note: I have had a couple of notes from readers asking if Elliot's little cock frustrates me for want of length and girth. Two things: first, while I like to humiliate him by demeaning his cock - I think humbling is good for a man - I actually like his perfectly ordinary, if a little small, cock. I have had large cocks and, frankly, most of the time they are more than a little uncomfortable. Second, a slightly smaller than normal cock on a bit of Viagra is a delight. It is more than enough to make me feel full and I can keep Elliot in control so he services me as long as I want. And his little cock is well enough trained that if I don't want him to make a mess he won't. And I usually prefer to have him ejaculate in his cup rather than in me. So it is all good. Better small and obedient than large and messy.)

Pleasure

A Gentleman's Place

Whipping Elliott always makes him more attentive and usually, especially when he hasn't been allowed to come for several weeks, puts him in a very horney place. And I must admit that having total control over my darling husband made me a little breathless so, when he pleaded with me to let him lick my pussy when we went to bed I was delight to give my permission. He has become quite talented and in no time I felt myself coming close. I prefer to finish with my own hand and Elliot is usually sent to his corner for my privacy. But not last night.

The Viagra had done its job and, as I masturbated I felt his hard little cock against my hip. I love feeling his cock inside me immediately after I come and I told him to be ready.

He was, I told him to slid his lovely little cock into my wet cunt. He, very gently, began to stroke in and out. I have trained him to stay at that slow pace unless and until I begin to play with his nipples. And as I lay there in the afterglow of my organs with my sweet horney man sliding into my lovely wet pussy I realized I had all I wanted.

"You can slip out now Darling. I'm done. Put on a pantigirdle so the erection goes away... Good night."

UPDATE: My frustrated darling has posted over at his blog.

Cheeky Boi

Now we are back on track.

My Darling Elliot has been, dare I say it, a bit sassy.

I sent him to the basement and whipped him. Twelve strokes which were not nearly hard enough because the space just is not right. He'll be fixing that soon.

I wasn't angry. I never whip him when I am angry. But I wanted him to know that his attitude was just not good enough.

Now he knows.

As If

The micro doses of Viagra I am having Elliot take daily are having a wonderful effect in combination with my enforcing his chastity until we are completely moved in. He is spending his days tumescent at minimum, hard at least five or six times in a day. It makes him very attentive.

There is a lot of debate over whether or not a submissive husband should be kept in a chastity device. Generally I have relied on tight panti-girdles to keep Elliots little cock in order; but the idea of a chastity device is appealing. Especially with the little tastes of Viagra. I know it seems rather silly to both chemically induce an erection and refuse to allow Elliot to touch me or himself; but it keeps him very much on edge which is where I like him.

This morning, before I was even awake, he was kneeling on my side of the bed, naked, erect and hoping for relief. I sent him to his corner and found his panti-girdle. I don't cage him, although I noticed that the cost of the CB6000S ("S" for short because I want his lovely little cockette nicely constrained) male chastity device, has dropped to $20.00 on Amazon You can order one here.

I think I might just cage Elliot and see how that goes.

Maintenance and then some

Well, that was delightful. Elliot had been a bit cheeky and, no matter what the heat it was time to remind him of his position. He writes about his corner time and his whipping here.

The point about leading a marriage is that a dominant wife needs to set the tone. I really should have sent Elliot to his corner at the very second he spoke back to me but, I fear, I was tired and it was hot. But it was very necessary to see those six welts after his maintenance. And it is lovely to have him back in his corner; the little bit of Viagra does a wonderful job of keeping his little cock eager.

Having him put on the pretty - and very tight - panties for cocktails was a bit mean given the heat and his stripped bottom but it is wonderfully humbling for him to stuff his little cockette into pretty full coverage panties.

I must say I have missed the heft and the springiness of the rattan cane. The little plastic cane was a nice weight and it certainly kept Elliot on his toes, but for real punishment the rattan is perfect. Plus I found out old sorority paddle in one of the boxes which came out of storage. It does not hurt all that terribly much but it will redden Elliot's bottom nicely when there is occasion for a serious whipping.

So, moved in, order restored.