Wednesday, 13 August 2014

5 elegant ways to begin a female led marriage

Shall we begin Darling?
I am beginning to write my guide to female led marriage and, as I go, I will post drafts here. These are rough and will not likely be seen in anything like the same form in the book. The working title seems to be, "In Charge: Elegant Female Led Relationships" but I bet that will change.


People and search engines seem to love listicles so why not? Elegant women like lists as much as the next girl.

1.     Sexual Denial – The fastest and most elegant way to indicate to your husband that you are in charge is to take control of his sexuality. In the beginning this means, I’m afraid, your husband will not be having much sex. And, realistically, as your dominance is accepted he will be having even less.

For the elegant dominant wife, marriage becomes about having her sexual desires catered to. Sometimes that means quite a lot of sex; but for many women, penetrative sex is, ideally, a once in a while thing. Usually after they have climaxed.

At the beginning, a dominant wife needs to make it very clear to her husband that, from now on, the only sexuality which matters in their marriage is hers.

2.     Rules – It does not matter what rules an elegant woman makes for her submissive or soon to be submissive husband. What matters is that there are rules.

These can and should start simply. Easy good manners. A gentleman rises when a lady enters the room. A gentleman holds her chair, pours her wine, fetches her smoked salmon. As a general rule, a gentleman never interrupts and never, ever adopts any but the most respectful tone in his conversations with the Lady of the House.

Most elegant women have already established these basic rules in their home so none of these should be difficult. After all, elegant women marry elegant men and elegant men have basic manners.

However, unfortunately, over time, even the most elegant man can forget himself and setting rules early reminds him of his place.

3.     Routine – A dominant wife needs to establish routines in her household. They need not be onerous, just constant. For each household these will be different however here are a few items which an elegant wife might expect her husband to follow:

                                               i.     clothing care – in the absence of a maid, a well trained husband can be expected to put his wife’s clothes away, iron as required and take care of her shoes, boots and bag
                                             ii.     handwashing – after his shower, a submissive husband should rinse out any panties, stockings or other lingerie his wife has left out
                                            iii.     chores – an elegant woman likes a clean house and, while she is more than willing to pitch in, her submissive husband can be expected to take care of a significant amount of the work. In particular, a well trained husband should clean the toilets daily, keep the sinks gleaming, vacuum difficult areas such as stairs. As well, there is no reason a husband cannot do simple things like run loads of laundry and fold the clothes in the dryer. (But be careful as many men have not the slightest clue on the laundry front.)
                                            iv.     basic home maintenance – most men, submissive or not, will take on the routine chores associated with the home. Fixing the squeaky hinge and such like. However, a well trained, submissive, husband will do this cheerfully and immediately.
                                              v.     mindfullness – it is a very good idea, early in a husband’s training, to set aside a few minutes a day for him to simply consider his position. It is actually good for a man to be forced to take even ten minutes from his hectic day, sit still, and think how grateful he is for his lovely, elegant, wife. I usually have Elliot do this as I change for cocktails. Sometimes I put him naked in his corner with my panties to press against the wall, other times I will put him in a very small closet and lock it.

The key thing about routine is repetition. Have him do much the same thing, at much the same time, daily or weekly. Men thrive on discipline and structure – the elegant woman knows this and makes sure she creates what her husband needs.

4.     Consequences – For the elegant dominant wife the question of consequences for mis-behaviour should not arise very often once she has habituated her husband to her direction. However, from the outset, consequences need to be made very clear and inflicted with a degree of authority and certainty. Here are a few consequences I have found effective, their exact implementation is discussed later in the book:

                                              i.     corner time
                                            ii.     closet time
                                          iii.     panty time
                                            iv.     girdle time
                                              v.     spanking
                                            vi.     paddling
                                          vii.     caning
                                        viii.     nipple clips
                                           ix.     pegging
                                             x.     caging

Any or all of these consequences can be quick and efficient. But in some cases simply sending your husband to bed will work to address a behaviour fault.

A consequence is tied to a particular piece of bad behaviour and reminds a submissive husband of his place. The duration and severity of a particular consequence is determined by the mis-behaviour but needs to be long enough and severe enough that your husband will think twice about repeating the behaviour.

5. Maintenance – there is considerable debate within the matrimonial discipline community as to whether a submissive partner should be disciplined regularly whether they need it or not. My own view is that most husbands benefit greatly from regular discipline which is a reminder rather than only being punished when they err. Keeping a husband to the mark through a combination of chastity, maintenance discipline and an presumption of total authority will let an elegant woman enjoy the man she so dearly loves.

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