Wednesday, 17 September 2014

No Wimps

There seem to be two distinct lines on submissive husbands: some husbands are submissive because they are naturally inclined to subordinate behaviour, some are pretty much dominant in every aspect of their lives except their marriages. Both can be happy, surrendered, husbands but I have to admit that I am much more interested in having the respect and submission of a man who I love and admire.

And Not Today Either
Elliot is sitting up in his office in his girdle having been throughly teased and absolutely denied both when we went to bed - I wore a particularly sexy nightie and didn't let him touch me and then stroked his little cock until he was thrusting into my hand - and then this morning when I used my fingernails on his morning erection and then sent him to his shower with the requirement that the last two minutes be cold. He loves these marks of his own submission, but I have no doubt he is pushing forward with his business, writing and working very hard (in both senses of that word) as I type this. His submissive side is only on display in our marriage, the rest of the time he is all the things I want my husband to be: smart, aggressive, risk taking and, when required, even a bit of a bully.

While I require him to do some of the housework and attend to my clothing, shoes and lingerie, I also want an equal in my marriage. A contradiction? I don't think so. What Elliot subordinates to me is first off his sexuality, second his right to make decisions in our marriage and third, any inclination towards "bad" behaviour as I define it. These are all things which he is better off without. There is no reason for any man to make sexual decisions: men are happiest when they are simply told what to do sexually. Yes, every so often I let him have the illusion of a sexual encounter in which he is on top. But he is well enough nipple trained that he is not coming until he has his nipples pinched.

Elliot has accepted the fact that his normal state is chastity. The fact he is hard, that he is horny, is wonderful. It is also not at all relevant to my sexual pleasure which is all that counts in our marriage. I do like him hard when I want him hard and that means he takes his little dose of Viagra and waits for my needs. In our marriage his "needs" are entirely immaterial.

The best marriages have one partner in charge and responsible for the decisions which have to be made in a marriage. I listen to Elliot but al the decisions - financial, social and family - are mine to make. As to bad behaviour, whether Elliot is snippy or disrespectful, if he goes out without permission or has one too many drinks, if he looks at another woman the wrong way or pretends to have the right to comment on my conduct, he knows he'll be strictly and severely punished.

It is how we chose to live. It is not for everyone but it works well for us.


  1. Hi Hannah!

    I relate to what you are saying here.

    With a few minor differences, this is pretty much how our relationship works.

    The basics are that it's her call as to what she wants control of, it can be anything of course. But some things she isn't interested in, so she leaves those to me.


  2. Thanks for your comment jen. There are a lot of things I leave to Elliot for exactly that reason - I am not interested or, and this is the great thing about being married to a man I admire, he is just better at them than I am. Plus traditionally "man of the house" things like fixing the sink. There's a balance.

  3. Your approach has worked for Mistress Barbara and i for more than forty-years. Our FLM is based on love, respect, and communications. We were both successful in our careers. We had to protect our business positions, but Mistress Barbara converted me to panties very early in our mariage. Wearing panties, garter, and stockings does not prevent you from being a leader. i had input in most everything, but Mistress Barbara made the final decision. We made adjustments while the kids were growing up, but the our son did learn to be submissive to his Sister, Mom, and Aunts. he is now also subserviant (as am i) to his Mistress/Wife. Within a FLR/FLM there is value in sharing some tasks and responsibilities because each person enjoys the activity. There are things that one person prefers to do more than the other. There are other things that Mistress insists we do. All of those situations can work together. The real deals is we are better off when we are in a loving FLR/FLM. As a very old sissy maid, i have always been happy. Now that Mistress Barbara is ill, i am also well trained to care for Her, and love providing Her care. We hope more and more couple embrace our lifestyle. Thank you for Your blog.