Sunday, 3 January 2016

Male Chastity and Discipline

I am in the middle of writing and compiling a book on male chastity based on my posts here and elliot's over at his blog. Reading through the old posts I am struck by how infrequently, since I caged elliot, I have had to discipline him.

Yes, of course he is still whipped regularly - if not by me then by our delightful and increasingly dominant maid Mady; but the fact is that a combination of earlier training, strict chastity and a more or less permanent cock cage had really improved elliot's behaviour.

Which leads me to the question: are men actually better behaved whan they have very little hope of sexual activity? I've read various accounts of men who are in chastity worshiping their wives in the hope of being allowed some sexual relief. But that seems very instrumental. What happens to men when you take that hope away almost entirely?

Men are, as I often point out, funny creatures. They spend far too much of their time thinking about sex. If you, as a strict and loving wife, take sex largely out of the equation - save your own pleasure of course - my sense is that, after a period of adjustment, they will rechannel all that sexual energy into more productive uses.

Which is not to say that you want to remove sexual excitement. After all, you have to have energy to rechannel. (Mady's perky little nipples under her sheer day blouses seem to be doing an excellent job.) But, by keeping a man in a constant state of hopeless sexual frustration and by removing any sexual agency, I think many wives might find that their husbands are far more ready to accept the direction they so desperately need without the necessity of frequent whippings.

In any event, that is my plan for 2016.


  1. I agree completely. Chastity should be a lifestyle and not a game. Any release the man gets should be based solely on the woman's feelings and mood. He should be consistently obedient and supportive at all times, not only when a reward is anticipated.

    Do you wear his key on a necklace or otherwise make his situation known, perhaps to close friends? Does he wear pantyhose and a bra under his male attire? Have you considered a tattoo, perhaps a lower back tattoo on him, your initials in brand-like design?

    All interesting possibilities. Kudos.

  2. I don't particularly advertise our arrangement, nor do I keep it much of a secret. I don't have many girlfriends but the ones I do have know that I have a female led marriage even if they don't know the specifics.

    As I write elliot, in addition to his chastity and stretcher, is wearing a panti-girdle. From time to time I will have him in a bra as well. Depends on mood and occasion.

    I personally don't like the look of tattoos. If I was going to mark elliot, and I am not inclined to at the moment, I would have him actually branded. There are some hipsters who are into this sort of thing and make monogram brands. The downside is that this needs to be a fairly large area and, I suspect, hurts like the dickens. But it would have the virtue of authenticity and permanence.

    1. Branding is an excellent idea, the pain only lasts a few seconds. I hope you move forward with it. I've been tattooed but never thought about branding.

      Men really love legwear, hopefully he shaves his body hair and wears stockings and heels around the house. They give an overwhelming, breathless sort of sensation that really makes me feel submissive and eager to please, particularly when worn with shapewear. is a great place for shapewear and accessories, if you want him to have a certain look around the house.

      You could also always experiment with henna, temporary tattoos that last about two weeks, if you want to use him as a canvas for your thoughts.

  3. Your comment on "rechanneling" is right on. We are going to have the sexual energy one way or another. Unlocked, that focus is usually on ourselves. Locked, it will go in whatever way you choose. If you don't help him rechannel than it will likely still fall on himself. You have the power, use it to your benefit or he will use it for himself.

  4. I tend to disagree. As with most things in life there seems to be a balance that is needed. Go too far in one direction and you end up with one result; go to far and the other and you end up with a completely different one. Either extreme usually results in a behavior that is less than ideal. It's that middle ground that people often seem to strive for and thrive in when they are there. I can only speak for myself but I know when I am completely free I take too many liberties and become more self centered in my thinking. However, I do remember times where I've been kept locked and have not been enjoyed sexually for what I perceived as being far too long. I remember feeling grumpy and hopeless and started having thoughts that were listed complementary toward my wife. Questions like "what's going on here?" Started coming to mind.

    Now I know you enjoy Elliott's oral services and maybe that will be enough satisfaction to keep him content. Katie is not one who particularly enjoys those similar treats and so when I am locked and denied, so is she. For me the key as a submissive is "is she still enjoying my services?" It's not about getting a release but rather am I still important to her and am I able to do things for her that no one else but me is able to do. In a nutshell it's a way of saying, do you still love me? And am I still worthy of you?


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