A Man's Position

I always find it annoying that there are so many great pictures of girls being spanked, standing in their corner, serving men, being bound - with real beauties, models and glorious women all in pretty lingerie or nothing at all - but so few good pictures of men in their proper place.

I had elliot go and search out a few. Annoyingly, this version of blogger does not have any gallery function that I can find but enjoy anyway. We'll post a few more sets.

One note: for gentlemen who are in female led relationships it goes without saying that you are to look no further without the enthusiastic consent of the lady of the house, for men properly in cock cages, make sure you look at each picture closely and see which produces the most significant pressure on your little locked cock. 

Is a Chastity Cage Essential to a successful Female Led Relationship?

Here is another question I am often asked about female led relationships:

Is a Chastity Cage Essential to a successful Female Led Relationship?

I talked about male chastity itself in an earlier answer. The fact is that one of the key elements of a female led relationship is the control of the male's sexuality. In all its forms. The dominant wife or girlfriend takes charge of her partner's sexuality as both proof of her dominant position and, just as importantly, because it is the most powerful tool she has to shape, discipline and refine her lovingly submissive man.

Ah, but do you have to lock up his little cock?

A few years ago I would have said no. But since I got elliot's first cock cage and then made the decision to keep him caged nearly all the time, I have changed my thinking a lot on the question.

I certainly think the honour system of male chastity can work for couples but the physical reality of putting your husband's cock under lock and key changes the dynamic in quite profound ways. All to the better I might add.

Restricting and controlling the male orgasm is a key element to ensuring that a man is paying close attention to the needs and desires of his wife. However, actually locking up your partner's cock and leaving him locked up for significant periods of time, alters his perspective in very important ways.

Remember, from puberty onward, your husband or boyfriend has been able to masturbate at will and to become erect for any number of reasons. A well-fitted cock cage takes away his right to masturbate and makes erections, without permission, either impossible or acutely uncomfortable. The honour system for male chastity leaves control of your husband's cock in his hands. Locking his cock up, puts the keys and the control where they belong, in your hands.

Symbolically, a cock cage is huge for the obvious reasons. However, practically, your man's submission is re-enforced every minute of every day. For example, most men prefer to pee standing up. A man in a cock cage will almost always find it easier to sit down. A locked man will still experience his morning erection but it will be a very different experience. Instead of a sort of warm horniness - often leading husbands to want sexual release before you've even brushed your teeth - a cock cage will send an instant morning reminder about who is in charge. If you have a morning routine worked out a painful erection will send your husband off to make coffee, shower and return to your service.

Being required to wear a cock cage is also a humiliating reminder for husbands and boyfriends that they have given up their sexuality to the woman they love. Now, elliot works at home and always has, but when he has to take meetings, his cock cage and ball stretcher are a constant reminder of his submission. Obviously, he is never going to be unfaithful when he is locked in his cage, less obviously, he tries to avoid any sort of sexual response at all because getting hard is not actually an option.

Leaving a submissive man uncaged means he retains at least some control over his sexuality. Men in general, and submissive men in particular need to have very strict limits set on their sexuality. For a dominant wife having her husband put on his cock cage and then locking it puts a hard limit on his sexuality. For as long as she chooses her husband is, effectively, neutered.

And all the better for it.

In fact, even men who are not in female led relationships can benefit from the control and humility a cock cage affords. Simply ordering a cage and locking up your own cock is an excellent first step in accepting your submissive nature. Finding or hiring a woman to hold your keys is the next step. Asking a girl out on a date when your cock is in its cage changes the dynamic of the relationship right from the go. As a submissive male you are not going to initiate sexual activity in any case but if the woman decides she wants to move ahead intimately, you will know you will have to tell her about your cock cage and ask her if you could please her in other ways. It is, of course, her decision but as more women realize they prefer to be the dominant partner you may find that your caged cock is actually very attractive.

Update: A number of people have written to ask if I thought all men should have to wear cock cages all the time. It is a wonderful, if wholly impractical, idea. While I have no doubt it would do men and women the world of good if men were all required to have their cocks locked up that is not going to happen. However, there is no reason at all that men, both inside and outside FLRs cannot voluntarily accept the control and discipline of a cock cage.

And wouldn't it be fun if men who have accepted the demands of a chaste life in the service of women could wear a discrete symbol of their general submission? And, yes, I am thinking of a little key pin. Imagine how delightful it would be to see a gentleman wearing such a pin and knowing that he was locked up and that he has accepted the proper male position. Imagine how delightful it will be to pin your obedient husband knowing his cock is locked up. (I've already ordered elliot's key pin.) And, of course, imagine, as a submissive male, properly locked up wearing your key pin and knowing that a select few women (and, of course, your fellow chaste males) know your actual position.

More of Mady's Patreon of Smut

She's a very naughty girl our Mady.

She's posted two more vintage magazines to her Patreon Vintage Smut Archive...Only about 150 to go and then she gets to do some vintage spanking photo sets and some vintage bondage photo sets.

The good news is she has her first Patreon! Another 99 and she'll actually make some money.

You can join her at https://www.patreon.com/hannah_obeyed

She better start posting faster or I will have to take matters in hand....

In an FLR what is the difference between discipline and punishment?

This is actually a great question about Female Led Relationships:

In an FLR what is the difference between discipline and punishment?

As the head of the household a dominant wife is responsible both for setting goals and boundaries and for ensuring that her expectations and directions are met. However, she is also responsible for creating the conditions in which her husband finds it easy to accept and enjoy his submissive position.

For the dominant wife to create those conditions she must be comfortable exercising her authority. Tell, don't ask. Setting standards, requiring respect and obedience. These are all essential to a successful, long term, FLR. However, men are astonishingly literal creatures and a smart woman asks for and receives tokens of her husband's submission. These are the simple disciplines of an FLR and they can range from plain good manners, doors held open, rising when a lady enters a room to more fundamental requirements.

For example, while I keep elliot locked in his cock cage most of the time, I will, occasionally, have Mady lay out a girdle for him to wear during the day or overnight. A good, firm, very utilitarian, long leg panty girdle in nurse's white reminds him exactly of his place. Being forced to wear such a constricting garment is deeply humiliating and "discipline" in its most basic sense. The discipline of doing what he is told and then having to wear something both feminine and somewhat uncomfortable for a few days at a time is very, very good for elliot.

The entire point of disciplining a man is to gradually, but inexorably, break him to his wife's will. While many men may, somewhat reluctantly, submit to their wives, the truly dominant wife will settle for nothing less than complete surrender. A surrender which will include chastity in most cases, the adoption of the wife's sexuality as the only sexuality within the household, and a willingness to do exactly what he is told. It is on this base of a man's unconditional surrender that the new world of a female led relationship is constructed.

In some female led relationships discipline will include regular maintenance spankings, or, more realistically as a woman has quite a difficult time putting enough force into a hand spanking, regular sessions with a hairbrush, or bath brush or even a cane. For many husbands, knowing that they will be whipped once a week whether they deserve it or not, it a key element in achieving and maintaining discipline.

I discussed punishment in an earlier post. There really is a huge difference between discipline and punishment and it is vitally important that a dominant wife understand that difference. Punishment is administered as needed to correct specific disobedience, inconsideration or outright defiance. In my view, even a hint of disobedience needs to be met with immediate and very painful consequences. There is nothing light or restrained about a punishment whipping because, in fairly short order, you want your man to be genuinely afraid of being punished. You have to be prepared to punish your husband or boyfriend for his, and the relationship's, own good.

Where a maintenance session may be quite painful and a bit unpleasant for your husband it will also be somewhat predictable. A couple of dozen swats with the bath brush is quite endurable if more than a little stingy. But when you strap your husband down for punishment he should have no idea at all what he will have to endure and for how long.

In fact, one of the biggest differences between discipline and punishment is that your husband will almost never be restrained for his discipline whereas it is often important for a husband to be restrained for punishment so that he is absolutely clear that he is helpless. Something as simple as a few zip ties (or this double handcuff zip tie) can make your husband's position very clear to him. I am, frankly, not a huge fan of more elaborate bondage in the FLR setting. Too many men have complicated bondage fantasies involving lots of expensive props and leather. If you are restraining your man you are doing it to punish, not please, him.

While a good whipping is often all it takes to correct bad behaviour sometimes you want to set a reminder for a few days or weeks. For example, while I keep elliot in a 20 mm, 340 gm ball stretcher because I like the look, I have a punishment stretcher which is 40 mm and 690 gm. I am now using magnetic versions of these devices. If elliot has to wear both and his cage he has over a kilogram of weight crushing his poor little testicles. A day or two of that and he knows he's been punished.

The point of punishment is to respond to and correct bad behaviour. Which, in turn, keeps a man mindful of his position and the discipline he has accepted in his FLR. Over time most dominant wives find they are only rarely required to punish their husbands. Because their husbands have learned the often painful lesson that there really are consequences for bad behaviour.