Thursday, 5 February 2015
The simple answer is, "Any way which suits her."
In fact there is an entire style which has grown up around the idea of dominant women. It is a projection of a different world from the dominant wife.
The sad truth is that there are many more submissive men than there are true dominant women. Demand has created supply and there are women who, for a fee, will put a gentlemen through his paces. Professional dominants have a couple of hours in which to evoke the feelings of submission that their clients crave. Which means they often use props and costumes to create a mood. Whips, chains, a dark "dungeon" and, of course, the leather and boots which signify the pro domme. Now, not every professional dominant uses these props but it is a relatively easy way for a professional to cut to the heart of their clients' fantasies. And nothing wrong with that. But it is not at all my cup of tea.
A female led marriage is not a fantasy - it is a day to day commitment to a certain way of conducting a marriage. And, of course, a marriage is not all corner time and canings. In fact, most of the time a FLR is indistinguishable from a more vanilla arrangement.
So I really do dress to please myself and to take on my regular role as Lady of the House. Yes, I do have corsets - several and two custom made. But, practically, I wear my corsets as a treat once in a while. (And yes elliot gets very hard when he laces me in...all the better.) And I love my vintage foundations and gorgeous lingerie - but long before I took the lead in our marriage I loved all those pretty things.
My style has always been classic, vintage with a few good designer pieces and pretty bags, boots and shoes. I like to wear dresses or skirts and I like the hem to be mid-calf. If I do say so myself, I have lovely legs but I think ladies should leave much to the imagination.
While I don't consciously dress as a dominant woman, I do dress as a lady and, with the right attitude, that is much the same thing. Simply by having nice, feminine clothes, avoiding abominations like Lululemon outside the yoga studio and sweats outside the gym, I project a good deal of power. Women who dress with a bit of style find they get much better service and a good deal more respect.
A little makeup, a great lipstick (here's my current, incredibly cheap, favourite), a nice haircut and you look finished and well groomed when you are out in the world.
Yes, I do wear stockings, often seamed, with my outfits. I love the feel of really fine hose and I love the look of a finished leg. And what is the point of stockings if they are not securely held in place with a flattering open bottomed girdle. These underpinnings with a pleated skirt or a snug knit dress mean that I feel beautifully dressed.
When I feel beautifully dressed I also feel terrifically confident. I am in charge, every inch the Lady of the House.