Quick Correction

Even the best trained, most obedient husband, from time to time, does something thoughtless.

In a house with dozens of towels and bath mats, elliot used my special hair towel as a bathmat as he had his shower this morning. With dirty feet I might add.

Well, I had just found a lovely, vintage, shoe horn/clothing brush (somewhat like this wooden shoe horn but with a nice heavy brush and flat side at the end). There is no time like the present when it is time to correct a husband.

I had elliot bend over the end of our bed and pull his pants and panties down. No warm up. Just a quick scolding and a dozen good solid swats. His bottom turned a lovely pink and I could see that with a little more force, my new purchase could leave quite an impression.

I think my darling will have received the message. Now back to my new book on Female Led Relationships. I am hoping to publish it on Kindle in the next few days.

Can a FLR save my marriage?

Another question which comes to me a lot is:

Can a FLR save my marriage?

Wouldn't that be great. Just put the wife in charge of the marriage and all will be well. Unfortunately, it is a bit of wishful thinking.

What a FLR can do and do very well is ensure that a marriage will not need saving. When you look at the common causes of marriages breaking down they tend to be, in no particular order, money, sex, unpleasant personal habits and infidelity. To which I will add the self-silencing of wives. More on that below.

As you might expect, if you put your husband in a good, sturdy, cock cage (and I am going to try this one with the cute little electric shock feature for elliot's next chastity device) the infidelity issue tend to disappear. Practically, it is more than a little difficult to persuade Gillian from HR to have a quickie if the required equipment is under lock and key. However, far more importantly, a good cock cage deadens the sensations which keep men on high alert for sexual opportunity. Plus, the fact a man has given his wife control of his "little brain" means that the slight discomfort the chastity device causes occasionally is a reminder of his submission.

Keeping a man chaste also goes a long way to addressing the "sex issue". In vanilla marriages, sex is an issue because of the differing libidos and desires of the partners. Many men seem to feel entitled to sex of some sort when and where they want it. Other men are unwilling to please their wives orally or will insist on ejaculating or pressuring their wives to pretend to enjoy "porn star" penetration. In an FLR, there is only one sexuality in the marriage: the wife's. And, of course, there can also be the issue of a husband's lack of desire. Especially as men get older they can lose interest.

I believe that the cornerstone of a female led relationship is the woman's total control over her husband or boyfriend's sexuality. A cock cage is best but even absent a cage, a man needs to understand that his sexual desires are to conform to his wife's needs. Period. If you don't want to cage your male then the next best thing is to punish, quite strictly, any suggestive language or uncalled for erections. A good long handled wooden bathbrush sitting innocently in the shower can be employed quickly and effectively. The words "hit the shower" will take on new meaning when your husband knows he will be spanked until his erection goes away with a few extra strokes as a reminder. In fact, the firm application of the bathbrush over a few weeks will have him begging for a cock cage.

The longer a man is denied any release the more frustrated and anxious to please he becomes. elliot was just back from a trip last night and, for fun, this morning I had him spend a happy half hour using his clever tongue. Then I sent him to his corner with a pair of perfectly juicy panties. I came, he got as hard as his cage would let him. I was delightfully satisfied. He was deeply grateful to have been allowed to lick me.

The sex issue is not an issue; it is a matter of a woman taking charge of her own sexual enjoyment and, frankly, rationing very strictly her husbands orgasms - if she lets him have any at all they have to be earned.

Which leads to the third and fourth issues. Properly disciplined a submissive husband will never have any odious habits. He'll be showed and shaved on the schedule you set. He will ask permission before having a beer or a glass of wine. He will stay at the weight you decide is best for him and exercise to ensure he avoids the dreaded Dad bod. A dominant wife with a fat husband is a contradiction in terms. Most women enjoy being enfolded in good, strong arms. In this day and age, that means working out. Not too hard, but regularly. Part of his training is to keep himself desirable for you even if you rarely allow him the pleasure of sex. He needs to know that you are proud of him, see him as your arm candy with all that implies.

As to money, in an FLR, the wife sets goals and expects those goals to be met. The money your husband earns should be automatically deposited to an account which only you control. Of course it makes sense for him to have a small allowance and a credit card for emergencies. But every week, when he comes to you for his allowance it is very important that he account for every penny. (I like to have elliot either naked or in a pretty bum baring girdle when he makes his financial report. Sometimes I invite Mady.) If you, as the Lady of the House, control the money there will be no arguments.

I use much the same method to set realistic goals on a quarterly basis. How much he needs to earn, how much to be saved or invested (in my name of course) and how much we will have to spend. These are important decisions and in an FLR they are my decisions. And of course, with the goal setting meeting comes either a reward - usually an ejaculation, sometimes a little more - or a punishment. A good cane can ensure better results next quarter. I keep a suede handled rattan cane by the fireplace in elliot's office for these performance reviews. It is a little heavier than my normal cane and elliot hates underperforming.

Last but not least, self silence. Biting your tongue. Putting up with things to keep the marriage going. The number of women I meet at church or at parties who will tell me about this or that character flaw in their husbands but will never tell their husbands is staggering. I am often tempted to carry an inexpensive wooden hairbrush in my bag and simply hand it to the poor things and say, "This will change everything." And it will.

In an FLR the wife has the last word. When she says, "Not another word." she can back it up with anything from a brief timeout in his corner to a full scale whipping with multiple instruments with her husband tied down. A well trained, well-disciplined husband learns to listen, carefully, to whatever his wife says. He learns to do exactly what he is told and to do nice things without being asked. It takes a while, but with a firm focus, any wife or girlfriend can train her man to first obey and then, as his life improves, surrender.

The time to save your marriage is long before it needs saving.

12 Rules of Nature

I have been very interested in, and impressed by, Canadian clinical psychologist Jordan Peterson's recent book, 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote for Chaos. If you have not read it get over to Amazon right now and buy the book. Peterson is, however, largely attacking the symptoms of chaos rather than its causes. In fact, the causes are rooted in Nature and the denial of Nature by legions of confused, often well-meaning, egalitarians who want to pretend that there are no real differences between men and Women. This egalitarian impulse has led, directly, to the psychological chaos Peterson so intelligently outlines and prescribes against.

So, slightly tongue in cheek, but also with a very real point to make, here are my own 12 Rules of Nature.

1. Men and Women are fundamentally different. Mentally, emotionally, physically we are not the same and the idea of equality between the sexes is a basic and dangerous illusion.

2. Women are primary in the construction of any sort of civilized world. From this Primacy flows virtually all of the social, cultural, sexual and political norms of a well-ordered world.

3. Women are sexual creatures but their sexual triggers are more subtle and more complex than the rude and primitive sexuality of men. Part of civility is bringing men's base urges under the control of whichever woman is in charge of them at the time: mother, mistress, wife.

4. Civilization and civil society arise when men accept that women are in charge of the sexual world and that their male urges and fetishes and needs are best met in subordination to the requirements of an intelligent, aware, woman.

5. Men have no right to sexual expression. Part of the process of maturation for men is to have their sexual lives channelled and controlled from puberty onward. It is a mark of a civilized society that men are only allowed a sexual outlet inside the bounds of matrimony or in the context of a paid relationship with a willing and dominant mistress or courtesan. Outside those two situations, a man has not earned the right to any form of sexual gratification and should be shamed if he, as it were, takes matters into his own hands. Within those situations, however, a man's sexual release remains a privilege to be earned. In a properly understood marriage, the husband is chaste unless and until his wife will enjoy his attentions. Not every husband has his cock in a cage, but many do and it is a growing phenomenon. And more than a few professional mistresses have chastity requirements for their clients.

6. Because of her Primacy in Nature, a woman should be given choices. The decision whether or not to work outside the home should be a choice and, generally, a woman will find it more rewarding to be supported by the work of a man. Prior to marriage, a young lady often enjoys the support of a patron. In both cases, women have the perfect right to demand and receive complete and generous support. In fact, in a proper marriage, a man will tend to turn over all of his earning to his wife and be put on a weekly allowance.

7. When a woman is ready to be supported she may initially opt to provide companionship to a variety of men in exchange for that support but, in the longer run, she will almost always want the stability of a marriage to the best male she can attract.

8. It is entirely Natural for a woman to be hypergamous. Hypergamy is most easily thought of as "marrying up". But that is a very shallow version. A better version is that women naturally want to spend time with and, eventually, marry men who will be good providers, faithful, good fathers and the best men they can be. "Rich" or "good-looking" are passing conditions, but dumb is forever. Women are looking for two very important male traits: intelligence and submission.

9. Standing up Straight, Cleaning Your Room and a number of other items mentioned in Peterson's book are the minimum requirements a woman should have for a man she is considering either spending time with pre-maritally in a paid role, or marrying. The last thing a woman wants or needs is a weak, ineffectual, emotionally challenged little boy dressed up in a suit. And, in fact, the suit may be a social marker which is less important than being a man of real skill in a torn t-shirt.

10. In a civilized world where the Natural order is observed, women will expect, as of right, good manners, deference and a respectful attitude from every man they meet. They will also conduct themselves according to certain basic rules - for example, a single or married woman will never find herself alone with a man who is not either her husband or client. And, yes, this does limit dating quite a bit. Which is alright because, unless there is a professional relationship, a woman will tend to impose the strictest chastity on any prospective spouse from the first date onwards. She will want to see how obedient he is and what level of control he can manage over his baser urges before even considering marriage.

11. As part of her Primacy, a woman will make the effort to be as attractive as she can be. Women are not all supermodels, but good skin care, a reasonable diet, exercise and an attention to clothes and makeup will go a long way towards ensuring that a woman's Primacy is unmistakable. Dressing in a feminine and understated way, avoiding excess, and enjoying the pleasure of being the object of the male gaze are all part of a woman accepting and revelling in her Primacy.

12. In Nature, in a civilized and civil society, women are in charge. A woman should take her natural place at the centre of attention. In situations where her Primacy is not acknowledged, a woman always has the option of leaving, or, perhaps more to the point, of calling a man to order. A woman receives the Primacy she demands.