Summer Pleasures

One of the great things about summer is that my regular round of shopping, social events, committee meetings and church eases off a bit. We like to have an easy lunch - maybe shrimp on toast with home made mayonaise and a glass of Chablis - and my darling elliot, liberated from his cock cage for a few weeks, loves to BBQ our dinner and I must say he looks very attractive in his Dad shorts and a loose cotton shirt. Mady's fitness training has really paid off.

Mady, of course, looks lovely in the sheer dresses and tops I prefer her to wear at home. She is a beautiful girl and why shouldn't she show off her nearly perfect body. It has the delightful effect of making elliot hard as a rock which, in turn makes him very attentive.

I am still working away on my book about Female Led Marriage. As ever, the trouble I have finishing it is that my views of FLR continue to change and to mature. When I first began I was hesitant on the question of male chastity devices, now I think a cock cage is essential. Not only to control the cock and a submissive husband's access to his own sexuality, but also as a symbol of superiority. Which is also why I think letting elliot spend the summer with his cock free is important: it reminds him of what he has surrendered, what he has lost, in his obedience to me.

I am also quite certain that the rituals of submission, elliot's ten or fifteen minutes standing naked in his corner with his nose pressed into the gusset of my yesterday's panties, instant caning for lapses of manners, his having to wear a pretty nightie to bed, have become a part of the fabric of our lives.

Beginning a female led relationship is all about exploration and imagination. But a long term relationship is very much about routine and ritual and then, from time to time, excursions from that routine. While I am not very interested in pegging elliot, it is Mady's favourite thing and she has built a little collection of dils and harnesses. Having elliot serve on special occasions, in nothing but a waiter's apron and kitten heels is a treat. My friend Amy, who stayed with us as I interviewed her for Only on a Tuesday: The Courtesan's Way was struck by the way that elliot simply accepts his position in my house.

I want to get all of this into my book. Which will take a while and, right now, it is time to go to the beach.

Do you punish your husband in a Female Led Relationship?

Another question which often comes up:

Do you punish your husband in a Female Led Relationship?

A dominant wife has the right and the responsibility to correct her husband. Sometimes correction can be by way of a good scolding, but as the saying goes, "spare the rod, spoil the husband." Physical correction is almost always required. Whether that is an over the knee spanking, a good hair brushing, a paddling, a session with the long handled shower brush or six of the best with a well made cane, your submissive husband will be more content if he is physically corrected on a regular basis.

Leaving aside the question of "maintenance spankings" which I will deal with in a sperate entry, the fact is that a dominant wife's authority must be exercised on a regular basis so that her submissive husband learns his place. Of course, you can scold your husband, demand that he get rid of obnoxious habits, be more attentive, do what he is told; but that rarely actually changes behaviour. And actual behavioural change is the objective. In an FLR a dominant wife is in charge of every aspect of the couple's life. Now, most of the time, she will have little cause for complaint but her husband has to understand that if she does find grounds for complaint he is going to be punished. Critically, for real behavioral change to occur, he has to be certain he will be punished and he needs to know that the punishment will matter.

Needing the punishment to matter is one of the reasons I very rarely use my hand alone to punish elliot. I am simply not strong enough to leave much of an impression and while the humiliation of have to drop his trousers and lie across my lap is useful it needs to be backed up with a bit of intensity. For minor infractions I find a couple of dozen strokes with my wooden hairbrush provides the right level of correction without leaving any lasting marks or bruising.

However, it is difficult to really gain much leverage with a nine-inch hairbrush. No mechanical advantage.

I am of the school that says a real punishment should leave a mark...several actually, and for that my options are either the shower brush with its nineteen and a half inch handle and heavy wooden construction or a good, flexible, cane of which I have several. Both are formidable and I will describe their use in separate posts.

The shower brush is a "thudding" instrument and it will cause bruising with even moderate swats. I tend to limit myself to a dozen strikes at about half force. I have, on very rare occasions either increased the number of strikes or increased my pressure. elliot hates the shower bush. He would rather have 24 hard strokes of the cane than a dozen moderate stroke with the brush. Where the cane creates a sharp line of pain in a focused area, the shower brush stimulates a much larger area. elliot knows I am very, very angry with him on the rare occassions I tell him to get the shower brush and wait for me.

For regular punishments, where elliot has been rude, or less than attentive or has displeased me in some way, I think the princess among punishment instruments is the cane. Her great advantage is that, with practice, you can have very precise control over how much pain you inflict and how the marks will come. Better still, a caning is quite quiet. I have taken elliot upstairs when we have had guests, caned him throughly, and sent him back down with no one the wiser. The cane is also, if necessary, very quick. While professional dominas will stretch six strokes over five minutes, a practical, efficient wife and punish her husband with a dozen strokes in less than a minute.

Regardless of the mode of punishment, a dominant wife never punishes without having a point to make. Nor will she punish when she is angry. Submissive men need a firm hand and practical directions for improvement. The entire concept of punishment within a female led marriage is to make your husband a more obedient, better, man. Physical correction is a part of an over all plan. Ideally, a rather small part.

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If you are thinking of taking control of your marriage or asking your wife to put you in your place, you may want to read a few of our books or buy a cock cage or ball stretching weights:

	You can order a cock cage for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recomend starting with a relatively inexpensive silicone cage for fit and obedience training. Order here.
	You can order ball stretcher for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recommend starting with a fairly light stretcher. Make sure you measure the ball sack circumference. You want the stretcher to fit snugly just above the testicles. Order here.
Books you might like:
The Art of the Maid Mady's Favourite Book
Dominant Woman  Feminine Superiority in Art
Obedient Husband Effortless Female Superiority in a Loving Marriage
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