Male Focus

I have always been amazed at the change in elliot first when he accepted his position as my submissive husband and, later, when I placed him in semi-permanent chastity.

The elliot I loved and married had more than a few blemishes. While he was a successful businessman and involved in our community, until he accepted my leadership in our marriage, he tended to be a bit scattered. Like most men, elliot was easily distracted by his own, rich, fantasy life. A pretty girl would walk by or he would see something on the internet and he'd lose focus.

Like most men, elliot really could not get enough sex. He would constantly pester me for "a quick blow job" or "a quickie". And it got worse the more successful he became. The problem was that my delightful husband was an alpha male with all of the sense of sexual entitlement alpha's usually have. At the same time, his alpha sexuality did not seem to actually satisfy him. And it certainly didn't satisfy me.

When I first took the lead, one of the key things which I decided was that there would be only one sexuality in our marriage: mine. Now this might sound selfish, but it was actually very pragmatic. A properly submissive husband needs to focus his sexual energy on the one person he is allowed to lust after. But he also has to recognize that, unlike men, women are not always thinking about or eager for sex or, for that matter, sexual talk or suggestions. I know that I have a cycle of sexual interest and there are only a few days in a month where I am interested in any sort of sexual activity. Prior to taking the lead in our marriage, I would feel some obligation to accommodate elliot's sexual desires even in off and shoulder parts of my cycle. A big deal would be "celebrated" with a romp in bed and a household task completed might be rewarded with a blow job. Which was fun for elliot but once the novelty of our wedding wore off, was a chore for me.

By first restricting and later more or less eliminating elliot's ability to request, much less demand, sexual attention, I was able to assert my own authority and ensure that my needs and desires were the only sexuality in our marriage. Now the focus was on me and, it turned out, that actually took a substantial burden off elliot's shoulders.

Being a gentleman of a certain age, elliot grew up assuming that a strong male would set the sexual pace for his marriage. Worse, he assumed that I expected him to be "ready to go" pretty much all the time. After all, his male sexuality was not supposed to have cycles. In actual fact, his sexuality was actually cyclical and subject to all the ups and downs a successful man's stress levels produce. Without firm boundaries and a good deal of discipline, the divergence between his actual sexual appetite and what he thought was expected of him just added to his stress. Taking charge of our sexuality as a dominant wife took that stress and re-oriented it. He's told me, often, how relieved he is not to have to posture as a sexually rampant alpha male and how content he is to give me my pleasure when I want it without any thought of reciprocation.

Locking up his little cock in its cock cage simply formalized his complete sexual submission. The fact he has not ejaculated except when I have Mady prostate milk him for about two months is his new normal.

Which is not to say that elliot is not regularly teased by Mady's perky little nipples under her sheer uniform or required to give me extended oral attention before being sent to his corner while I come in private. And the micro-doses of Viagra ensure he fills his cage with his helpless little cock often. But his, more or less permanent chastity means he has shifted his focus to what he knows will please me. Under Mady's strict supervision he is in the best shape he's been in a decade. His business is booming letting us live very well indeed. We are still very active in our community although I have taken the lead there. With the surrender of his manhood, elliot is free to do what he does best - business and pleasing me. He could not be happier or more fulfilled and our marriage and our lives move forward easily and with delight. Now that elliot's sexuality has been reduced to longing and oral service, he understands and embraces his position.

As he should.

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If you are thinking of taking control of your marriage or asking your wife to put you in your place, you may want to read a few of our books or buy a cock cage or ball stretching weights:

	You can order a cock cage for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recomend starting with a relatively inexpensive silicone cage for fit and obedience training. Order here.
	You can order ball stretcher for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recommend starting with a fairly light stretcher. Make sure you measure the ball sack circumference. You want the stretcher to fit snugly just above the testicles. Order here.
Books you might like:
The Art of the Maid Mady's Favourite Book
Dominant Woman  Feminine Superiority in Art
Obedient Husband Effortless Female Superiority in a Loving Marriage
See all our books at my Amazon Author Page here Remember Amazon Prime Customers and Books Unlimited Customers can down load all my books FREE

Thinking about a Dominant Wife Guide Book

I have been thinking about putting together a book with the working title "Dominant Wife/Alpha Husband".

The thought came to me as I was instructing one of Mady's friends on the feminine art of caning. Needless to say, elliot was in position and Mady was holding his arms as I showed her friend, Emily, the difference between a maintenance stroke and a punishment stroke. For the former it is really just a flick of the wrist, the later means you swing with your whole arm and follow through. elliot does not like punishment strokes at all. Emily was getting the hang of it and, after a dozen maintenance and half a dozen punishment strokes elliot was kicking up his heels and looking very chastened indeed. We could have gone on but I thought elliot had suffered enough.

"Take him upstairs for a shower Mady." I said putting down my dog stick (which is a nasty instrument I rarely use on elliot, or Mady for that matter.) elliot was naked except for his new stainless steel short cock cage and ball stretchers and he trotted along behind Mady enjoying her short little skirt and the fact his whipping was over. Emily and I adjourned to my sitting room and I poured us each a glass of nicely chilled chablis.

"So, what did you think of that Emily." I asked. She was a close friend of Mady's and had been curious as to Mady's remarkable transformation as she served first as my maid and, now, as my handmaid/companion. In particular, she was very interested in the entire idea of training a boyfriend or husband. I offered to let her come for a few days to see how I ran our house.

"That was so intense, ma'am." said Emily.

"What was Emily? Using a cane for the first time?" I asked.

"Well that was exciting but what was so intense is how your husband just accepted the fact he was going to be whipped." said Emily.

"I suppose it was. Truth to tell I really don't notice his obedience these days. He simply does what he is told." I said quite honestly. It had been a long time since elliot talked back or didn't obey. A very long time.

"But it is such a contrast. When I arrived yesterday there he was in his office making calls, striding up and down, doing business. And, looking at this house, a very good business. He was so "in charge". And, at supper, unless I knew what I was looking for you two seem like a somewhat formal but very loving couple. But today all that had changed." said Emily.

"Actually, Emily, nothing changed today. Which is really the point. Both modes are who elliot is. He is not pretending to be the big swinging dick business guy, he actually is, albeit with his not terribly big cock in its little cage as a reminder of his position. In fact, his complete submission actually makes him a better and more confident business man." I said.

"I guess it might ma'am, but I don't quite see how you go about turning that sort of man into a well trained boyfriend, much less a submissive husband."

"It is not obvious, is it? And I suspect it is not obvious because you are seeing it as "turning" a man into something he was not. I don't think that is the way it works. Some men, and my research on Mistresses and on Escorts, tells me that "some" is really quite a few, have a submissive streak. Of course, the more alpha they are the more reluctant they are to admit it; but a clever girl can usually figure it out. And that submissive streak is fully integrated - if deeply suppressed - in their personality. So that is the raw material and, as I did with elliot, you have to look hard to see what a man actually wants, actually needs." I said pondering whether or not to tell Emily that at the beginning of our marriage I was the one who went over elliot's lap.

"And how do you find a man with that temperament?" asked Emily.

"Well, you are a pretty girl, smart, nicely put together: I suspect you are asked out regularly." I said.

"I am. But not by a lot of men I see as alphas. Lots and lots of betas." said Emily with a laugh.

"I won't start giving dating advice but if you are looking for salmon don't fish a trout stream. Having an integrated personality tends to correlate with intelligence and that means you are more likely to meet a real alpha in a bookstore than in a night club." I said. "And the nice thing about bookstores is that you can see what a man is looking at and gather quite a lot of information. Same with things like public lectures. But not the New Agey sorts of lectures - just by showing up to a lecture on getting in touch with your inner self a man has already admitted he is not well integrated - look for things like urban planning or science. Or work on a political campaign. Lots of smart ambitious men will put in time in the "back rooms" of political organizations."

"But where ever you are, stand a bit aloof. Be a bit unreachable. There is nothing wrong with a woman being a bit stand offish. Dress, make-up, shoes...they all matter and they all signal. You want to look very, very, expensive. Which is really about natural fibres, simple, modest design and really working on your posture - a corset, as Mady shows so wonderfully, helps a lot. Mady might lend you one for dinner this evening."

"That would be lovely. I love her's."

"Mady turns out to be a girl who loves the security being tight laced brings. Other girls find corsets suffocating. We'll see this evening which sort of girl you are." I said lightly.

"So there I am, looking very expensive and the proverbial tall, dark and handsome stranger looms on my horizon...what then?" asked Emily.

"He'll likely make a bit of conversation and, if you are interested, you wait until he suggests drinks, dinner and such like. At which point you run a little test." I said.

"A test?"

"Yes, and I have to admit I did not come with this on my own but a very dear and dominant friend of mine swears it sets just the right tone. Once he asks, you tell him which day, what time and where you will be going. Note the word "tell". Right from the beginning, you are telling this man what he is to do. It will seperate the sheep from the goats rather quickly. My friend ended up marrying a lovely man who, when she gave him his instructions on first meeting, said "Yes ma'am." and has been saying it ever since." I said and Mady and elliot rejoined us. I asked them both to sit down which Mady did at once, heedless of the fact her little maid's skirt rode up over her stockings tops. It must have been a very stimulating shower as her pretty pink nipples were quite visibly erect under her sheer blouse. elliot said, "If it is all the same to you, dear, I think I stand for a little while longer. Emily is a quick learner."

We all laughed and passed on to other things.

But I realized that what I had been discussing with Emily and have discussed previously with Mady, might make a rather useful source book for ladies, young or not, who wanted to take the lead in their relationships with men. We'll see what I come up with.

-----

If you are thinking of taking control of your marriage or asking your wife to put you in your place, you may want to read a few of our books or buy a cock cage or ball stretching weights:

	You can order a cock cage for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recomend starting with a relatively inexpensive silicone cage for fit and obedience training. Order here.
	You can order ball stretcher for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recommend starting with a fairly light stretcher. Make sure you measure the ball sack circumference. You want the stretcher to fit snugly just above the testicles. Order here.
Books you might like:
The Art of the Maid Mady's Favourite Book
Dominant Woman  Feminine Superiority in Art
Obedient Husband Effortless Female Superiority in a Loving Marriage
See all our books at my Amazon Author Page here Remember Amazon Prime Customers and Books Unlimited Customers can down load all my books FREE