Being Available

A commentator in the last post wrote:

"How can I earn a life to be spanked and pegged by a strict dominant woman who will make me submit to her rules and regulations?"

It is a question which comes up regularly and I think it is worth answering. I did so in the comments but I want to expand my answer a bit here.

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Assuming that you are serious a couple of points: begin with being a gentleman to all the women in your life and all the women you meet. Good old fashioned manners will go a long way towards attracting an interesting woman.

Meeting women is not terribly difficult. Meeting the right women is. You are very unlikely to meet the right sort of woman in a bar or a club, much more likely to meet one at a book sale or in a vintage clothing shop. A compliment - "what a lovely coat" - gets the ball rolling. Be very polite and very deferential. "Might I join you for a coffee when you have a bit of spare time?" leave the decision with the woman where it belongs. 

Now, a real gentleman will have a personal - not business - card with just his name, email address and phone number. Making a nice presentation, with a little bow, to give a lady your card will, I will virtually guarantee, be something which has never happened to her before and therefore make you more interesting than most of the men she meets. Plus, your bow will already, suggest your submissiveness. Not a bad way to begin. 

Second, in your interactions with women generally and eligible women in particular, go out of your way to demonstrate your obedience and submission. No, don't fall to your knees...but do as you are told and saying "Yes, Miss." will surprise and delight most women.

Again, as you are meeting women, look for opportunities to serve. For example, if you have struck up a conversation in a vintage clothing shop, there is no reason not to offer to hold the clothes she is going to try on while she is in the changing room. (On a second visit, when you know each other a little and she realizes she can trust you, offering to carry her bag while she goes through the racks and also offering to carry her selections, is a lovely way to introduce any woman to the pleasures of a submissive, obedient man.)

Third, while you will likely ask any number of unsuitable women out understand that it is a submissive male's duty to make the effort. After all, unsuitable or not, girls need nice breaks whether it is for coffee or lunch or dinner. And you always pay. If she demurs, well, wait to be told what to do. But make sure you make the first move. It is the only first move a submissive man should make. Everything else, from whether to see each other again to physical intimacy to which movie to see is up to the woman. Of course, you can suggest going to dinner or to a movie but she decides where or what to see.

Fourth, if, as dates sometimes do, a woman seems interested in intimacy, make sure you let her take the lead. Especially if you are lucky enough to be invited to her bed. Your only reason to be there is her pleasure so do as you are told. Your pleasures and urges simply do not matter. (Note: if you have pleasured a woman properly and she suggests reciprocation, you need to make it clear that she has no obligation at all to attend to your needs. If she suggests a blow job after you have licked her to completion, suggest giving her a nice backrub instead.) 

Some women will love being in charge in the bedroom and that is a very good sign as to their eventual willingness to take charge of the relationship. At the same time, many women are very used to the man taking the initiative. A good way to get past this is to explain that, in these #metoo days it is very important to you to know that any physical intimacy is at her initiation. "You tell me what you want me to do."

After a few encounters, she'll realize that you are really there entirely for her pleasure and at her direction. If she is comfortable with that you are ready to move on to the hard part.

Finally, with her permission, tell her about your desires. Be prepared for her to be a little shocked, or not, but you need to be totally honest. But you do not have to be all that blunt. For example, when something goes a little bit wrong, saying something like, "I really deserve a good spanking for forgetting to put water in with the flowers" opens up the whole spanking question. Pegging is a little different as you'll have to open up the question, "I wish I could feel you in me" and then actually get all the apparatus.

Women are generally caregivers and once she understands that you need a good whipping from time to time and that you feel more comfortable and secure having been taken anally, you would be amazed at how willing many women are to meet your needs. 

Of course, and this should go without saying, you need to be all the man you can be. Working hard, earning, staying in shape and alive to the world. Part of finding the woman you want and need is being the man she will want and need. It sounds basic, but good grooming, nice clothes, good shoes and an elegant - but not needlessly expensive - watch. 

Remember, long before the discipline and the pegging and whatever else you need, the reality is that you have to enjoy the woman who will be in charge and, more importantly, she must enjoy you.

Good luck!!