Thursday, 29 March 2018

Can a Female Led Relationship be public?

A question I am often asked about FLRs is:

Can a Female Led Relationship be public?

It is an interesting question because it begins with the premise that the nature of relationships, in general, is public. If you see a couple walking down the street or in a store how can you tell who is "in charge". Which is the dominant partner? Generally, it is pretty much impossible to tell. In fact, even if you asked many couples, they would not really know how to answer because most couples never consciously make a decision as to which partner will lead.

Even with friends, the nuts and bolts of a marriage are seldom well understood outside that marriage. There is an element of privacy which almost every couple enjoys.

However, there are also assumptions made which may be mildly annoying and which a dominant wife and her adoring husband may wish to contradict. There may also be a bit of fun to be had, and some usefully humbling experience for an obedient husband, when a wife decides to assert her authority in public. Whether it is in a shopping mall or at dinner with friends or at a public event, a well trained husband will accept the fact his wife may make a public display of her dominance and his submission.

In our little town, elliot's position is, I gather, well understood. At least the women know. Oddly, I suspect very few of our male neighbours have any idea. Men don't really pick up the signals and, if they do, they will tend to see elliot's obvious submissiveness in terms of my being "bossy". (Which, of course, I am but that really isn't the point.) However, elliot's obedience is often remarked on as I go about my shopping. I have actually had sales clerks, from quite young girls to older, mature women, comment as elliot stands holding my bag and the clothes I want to try on. "What a lovely man." or "How do you manage to have your husband take such good care of you?" And, if asked, I am perfectly willing to say something like, "He does what he's told...or else."

One delightful girl of about twenty-five who was showing me dresses and asked about elliot, on receiving my stock response, cheekily asked, "Or else, what?" I answered, "Well it depends on what he has done; but he knows he'll be punished. Maybe time in his corner, maybe a good spanking or maybe something a little more pointed."

"You put him in a corner?" the girl asked smiling but incredulously. "Really?"

"Really." I said. "Naked."

"I don't believe you." said the girl.

elliot had been a bit impatient earlier and I was planning corner time for him in any event. There was a spare dressing room and the shop was empty.

"Come with me. You won't be shocked with a little nudity, will you?" I said to the shopgirl who shook her head. "elliot, you were a bit rude back in the grocery store. Come in here."

Fortunately, it was quite a large dressing room.

"Darling, put my bag and those clothes down on the divan. Then undress. You can do your corner time right here." As I said this I reached up under my skirt and slipped off my panties. elliot quickly stripped and was naked save for his cock cage in seconds. Without a word he took my panties and headed to the far corner. He placed my panties in position in the corner and pressed his nose against the gusset. "He'll stay like that until I tell him to stop."

Yes, the shopgirl's eyes were wide as saucers as we closed the curtain on elliot. "That is amazing..." she sputtered.

"Not really, dear. That is years of training and obedience," I said.

"My boyfriend would never do that," said the girl.

"You might be surprised. A firm hand, chastity, a cage and almost any man will learn to obey. But it does take a bit of work and you have to be firm. Spare the rod, spoil the husband." I said with a smile. I spent a happy twenty minutes trying on dresses, selected one, paid for it and said, "Well, let's see how elliot has made out."

We walked back into the dressing room and, of course, elliot was still in his temporary corner.

"You're finished now elliot. Bring me back my panties and get dressed." elliot did what he was told with a flourish. He knelt as he presented me my panties. "Thank you dear. Now hurry up and get dressed...I'd like to get home."

"Yes, Ma'am," said elliot.

"Amazing," said the shopgirl. "Please come back soon."

"Oh, I will. It will be handy to have a place to discipline elliot on the off chance he's naughty."

And I have used that little dress store several times.

So elliot's position is not a secret. In fact, he is a somewhat familiar sight holding my bag and whatever I am looking at or have already purchased. The fact that I tell him, rather than ask him, to do things is also a fairly public manifestation of our relative positions.

However, beyond this sort of quasi-public display, I prefer to be discreet. Frankly, my marriage, home life, bedtime pleasures are all my own business. And for other reasons, in the business world, I give elliot free rein and we present as a very conventional couple albeit one where the husband is unfailingly polite and considerate to his wife - something not all the business couples we deal with quite manage.

In our little church our pastor is entirely aware having taken Mady's private vows of obedience to me. Of course, I lead our party to our pew and elliot waits until Mady and I have seated ourselves. However, I put the offering in the collection plate. In a small community this is noticed. [Not to mention Mady's change in status from maid to maid/companion.]

So, as a rule, while I make no attempt to hide the fact I am in charge, I also don't spend a lot of time advertising that fact. The key part of an FLR is the R. It is a relationship. It has a public face and a private one. It is my decision as to how much to disclose and, frankly, how much is no one's business but my own. As our dress shop encounter illustrates, elliot does what he is told.


If you are thinking of taking control of your marriage or asking your wife to put you in your place, you may want to read a few of our books or buy a cock cage or ball stretching weights:

Books you might like:
The Art of the Maid
Mady's Favourite Book
Dominant Woman 
Feminine Superiority in Art
Obedient Husband
Effortless Female Superiority in a Loving Marriage
See all our books at my Amazon Author Page here Remember Amazon Prime Customers and Books Unlimited Customers can down load all my books FREE

You can order a cock cage for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recomend starting with a relatively inexpensive silicone cage for fit and obedience training. Order here.

There is really nothing more excitingly humiliating than pushing this up into your husband and teasing him with the remote. A
remote controlled, vibrating, butt plug/prostate massager should be in every dominant wife's toy box.

You can order ball stretcher for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recommend starting with a fairly light stretcher. Make sure you measure the ball sack circumference. You want the stretcher to fit snugly just above the testicles. Order here.


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  2. Agreed! The key is the "R", and this requires flexibility.

  3. I always enjoy reading your calm, matter of fact, descriptions or your relationship. I can only wish that my wife would take on such a firm role, although that may be one of those things that I should be "careful what you wish for".
    I have followed your suggestions of purchasing items to be used in my submission. My wife found the remote controlled vibrating butt plug to be just about the most fun thing I have bought for her.
    She had a great time seeing me jump in surprise when she would switch it on as I washed dishes.
    Thank you so much for taking the time to share your lifestyle with us.

  4. T"he key part of an FLR is the R. It is a relationship."

    What a wonderful summation. Vulnerability from a submissive requires trust and faith in his Domme. Pretty clear from your article he has it!