Tuesday, 23 January 2018

What is the Difference between a Dominant Wife and a Professional Dominatrix

A question which I am often asked is:

What is the Difference between a Dominant Wife and a Professional Dominatrix?

In a very real way, while the two roles may look somewhat similar and may involve some of the same activities, there is actually very little overlap. I am a dominant wife and I have dominated men who are not my sweet husband either professionally or within a BDSM community. The roles could not be more different.

A professional domme is all about the theatre of domination and submission, bondage, cross-dressing and a variety of other things. One client may want to be tied up and teased, another needs to be soundly whipped, a third wants to try out wearing a skirt, heels and hose: the professional dominatrix takes her cues from her clients.

As importantly, a professional dominatrix may or may not be dominant in her non-professional life. A friend of mine who is a successful professional dominatrix leads a remarkably ordinary life with her rather macho husband and their two kids in what can only be described as suburban splendor. Not only is she not dominant at home, I rather suspect she is privately very submissive indeed. But it does not matter when she laces up her leather corset and puts on the thigh high boots.

For the professional dominatrix the "power exchange" is entirely transactional. The client pays his money and steps onto the BDSM stage. Most pro dommes will spend some time either online or before a session discussing what the client is looking for. In session, really talented dominatrixes are able to create an environment where the client forgets he ever mentioned what his particular kink happens to be. After a little while disbelief is suspended and he's being strapped down for a caning because that is what the domme wants. He forgets he asked for it only a few minutes before.

Most importantly, a session with a professional dominatrix is just that - a session. When it is over the client walks away with his particular need taken care of for a while. Even very regular clients are essentially given their session and then sent on their way. For some men that is more than enough. An hour or two spent in the control of a woman perceived to be powerful is an edgy, rewarding, experience and can be left in the dungeon or studio.

A dominant wife, on the other hand, tends to be dominant in every aspect of her marriage. There are no "sessions" because the nature of the relationship is one of her dominance and his submission. A submissive husband is not looking for a particular kink to be satisfied or performed. He is looking for his wife to take the lead in their marriage.

Here's an illustration: a professional dominant will "order" her client to perform a certain task, a dominant wife will "tell" her husband to do something. The fact the submissive husband has been trained to accept his wife's authority and knows there will be consequences if he fails to do what he is told, means that he "hears" his wife as issuing orders which he must obey.

Dominant wives will, from time to time, "dress the part" if they feel like it. However, there is no real reason for a wife to pretend to be a dominatrix unless she wants to and unless she thinks it would be a treat for her husband. Nor do FLR's have to have the rituals which are so useful in a professional dominance situation. I send elliot to his corner when I please and when I think he needs a time out. While there is certainly a routine that routine is simply what elliot has been trained to do when sent to his corner. I can say "corner" and he is on automatic pilot, stripping, finding a pair of panties and standing very still until he is told he may come out of his corner. Now I have used this technique professionally, but it requires that the routine be explained and consented to at the beginning of the session. It might look the same, but the underlying obedience I expect from elliot is quite different than I would have expected from a client.

But the biggest difference between a professional dominatrix and a dominant wife is that the dominatrix steps in and out of her role, a dominant wife simply lives her FLR lifestyle. It is a part of who she is and it is a part of who her husband is. A really skillful dominatrix can create the illusion of male subjugation her client craves, a dominant wife subjugates and directs her husband as part of her marriage and her life.

While I have certainly enjoyed the role of a professional domina it always felt a bit like make believe, like a "dress-up" game. My marriage, on the other hand, has evolved into a pure delight with elliot deeply content being a man in his position and a very obedient husband.

[I'll be answering a few questions about sex and the Female Led Marriage in subsequent posts however, with the exception of occassionally letting a client have a humiliating forced ejaculation, sex does not come into the professional dominatrix equation.]


If you are thinking of taking control of your marriage or asking your wife to put you in your place, you may want to read a few of our books or buy a cock cage or ball stretching weights:

You can order a cock cage for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recomend starting with a relatively inexpensive silicone cage for fit and obedience training. Order here.

You can order ball stretcher for your husband or yourself at Amazon. I recommend starting with a fairly light stretcher. Make sure you measure the ball sack circumference. You want the stretcher to fit snugly just above the testicles. Order here.

Books you might like:
The Art of the Maid
Mady's Favourite Book
Dominant Woman 
Feminine Superiority in Art
Obedient Husband
Effortless Female Superiority in a Loving Marriage
See all our books at my Amazon Author Page here Remember Amazon Prime Customers and Books Unlimited Customers can down load all my books FREE

1 comment:

  1. Miss i do see such a different between real life and role play, one is where i would have to be obedient, it is expected and demanded from me all of the time, the other is where i want to be obedient for a certain amount of time.