From Mistress to Head of Household

I am busily writing away on my mistress book - and, by the way, in my view every young girl should take a year or two as an older man's mistress.

[Regardless of whether she is determined to be a wife or have a business career or, like Mady, enter service, a couple of years after college being "kept" will teach a girl a great deal about the world, men, luxury, negotiation and the pleasures of the bedroom. While escorting at the higher end is always an alternative for an elegant women (and I have written a delightfully long book about the ins and outs of escorting as well, Avails: Escorting for the Elegant Woman), becoming a mistress provides many of the benefits of escorting with none of the potential downsides.]

As I write I have been reflecting on how my own life has shifted through the pleasures of being kept in my twenties to wifehood in my thirties and now head of my own household. I very much doubt I could enjoy my position as much without having first learned how to tease, seduce and pleasure a man in my years as a mistress to three rather different men.

The critical thing I realized back in my twenties is that I could not possibly be with any man who I did not deeply admire and respect. And yes, I know that as I write this the man I love has his cock in a cage I have the key to, is wearing a scrotum stretcher whose weight I will increase this month, and is being exercised by our maid who he is required to obey and to pleasure at her command. Which all seems contradictory until you realize that I fell in love with elliot precisely because - though I didn't know it at the time - he has the strength of character to accept his essentially submissive nature.

Two of the men who kept me in my twenties were very nice, quite wealthy gentlemen who, from all exterior appearances were alpha males. They ran their companies, they had busy lives, they were quite dominant in the bedroom and in public. A mistress, unlike an escort, gets to know her patron very, very well. As I grew to knew these two men I realized that, in fact, they were highly successful fakes. Sure, they had the appearance of leadership but, in fact, were essentially worried that somehow they were going to be "found out". Which meant that they never really relaxed, never were comfortable in their skins. Their lives were, essentially, performances.

The third and last man was very much the real thing. Oddly, of the three, he was the least conventionally successful. He could afford to keep me but he actually noticed the few thousand a month keeping a mistress requires. He was not conventionally dominant, a bit the opposite actually. He was the first man I ever caned for example. But what was striking was that none of what he did, what he wanted or who he was involved any performance at all.

A good mistress relationship can last for years but two or three is more typical. Men like variety. (Mady does serve many purposes doesn't she.) My last relationship with this wonderful man lasted a little over two and we are still, distantly, in touch. What he taught me was the incredible value of being exactly who you are and doing what you want to do rather than what other people might expect you to do.

When I was considering marriage I was looking for a man who, while younger, would have the same integrity my final patron had. I met elliot and, I have to admit, I really put him through the wringer. I am an old fashioned girl. I knew I would only marry once. Get it wrong and I would have to live with the consequences.

I didn't get it wrong. We did spend a few years trying to live a marriage which was contrary to both our natures - elliot is very capable of disciplining a young girl or a young wife but it is not his natural role. We sorted it out.

elliot is at his most effective when taken firmly in hand. He is my husband but in name only. His position is much more wifely in the old sense of that term. He does what he is told. He is sexually compliant and rarely allowed to enjoy his own pleasure. He is subject to very strict discipline and is whipped for disobedience, talking back, or even taking a disrespectful tone. Most of all, in our marriage, he is the junior, subservient partner.

I am the Head of our Household and elliot obeys me without demur. Because that is who he is. Of course I remind him of his place from time to time but it is actually unnecessary; elliot is at his most alpha accepting his corrections and pleasuring me without any expectation of reward.

Now he really is the man that I love.