She continued: 'We’ve all heard about those broads in relationships who mysteriously stop shagging their Significant Other, claiming they “haven’t got time for sex” and, “I’m too tired”.
'How come they’re never too tired to get trashed on rosé wine with their mates on a Friday night, go to the garden centre early on a Saturday morning and spend every weekday on Mumsnet?'
She continued: 'Maybe sex wouldn’t take so long and be so tiring if they didn’t demand the Ring Cycle equivalent of romance first?" daily mail
Miss Burchill has it partially right. There is certainly a level of "romance" required to bring most women along to the point where they want to have sex. And modern life gets in the way of romance in any number of ways. Cleaning the oven is not usually a prelude to a bit of afternoon delight.
Where Miss Burchill is, I think, off the rails a little is that she seems to think that romance is a discrete, finite thing where a husband woos his wife with a few flowers and a nice bottle of wine and, after much palaver is somehow rewarded with a a rigorous poke. If this is the scenario little wonder that wives are getting gunned on rose (yech) and spending hours in the garden center.
Imagine the same scenario - the flowers, nice wine - as a matter of course. At our house we call it cocktail hour and it is the high spot in our day. There is no need to flip the romance switch. Elliot is romantic and wonderfully attentive all the time. And, if you have been reading this story so far, you know that elliot is chaste and locked in his cock cage so he is well aware that even if he does have an ulterior motive, he only has sex when I decide I want him to. That's one part.
The other part, and this is critical, is that I am in charge of our marriage. I like elliot to do his alpha male thing in the business world because I like the rewards that brings. I like to motivate him to work hard and be successful. (Getting him a maid to lust after will be very motivating.) At the same time, I have trained him to be a loving, respectful, romantic husband. As with any course of training what I have done is rewarded the behaviour I want to encourage and punished the behaviour I find unacceptable. Elliot started out a nice, if not quite house broken, man when I met him. I put in the time to actually tell him what I liked. Men are not good at guessing and women, whether in a female led relationship or not need to make their needs known.
It does not take very long before a well trained husband does what you want him to without you having to say a word. And, of course, a man in chastity is even more ready to please.
The question "what do women want" is always to general to be answered. The right question is what do I want? As a wife, dominant or otherwise, you need to know what you want, need and expect and then you need to make that very clear to your husband.
Of course, once you start being that clear with your husband don't be surprised if you end up as the head of household and all round dominant wife. Because men actually are happier, healthier and more productive when they know who is in charge. Most men, after a little resistance, actually like doing what they are told. Miss Burchill should try it with her husband.