here and here and that is a good start.
From my own perspective I am not naturally dominant in the sense of wanting to boss people around. Instead, I like to have people, particularly my husband, work very hard to please me. Which is not, I must say, all that difficult to do.
At the same time, very early on in our marriage I made it clear to elliot that, at least in the bedroom, I was in charge. Too many women put up with mediocre sex too often. I was more experienced than my lovely alpha man and I knew he needed training. So, I began by cutting him off entirely after about six months. No sex for a month focuses a man's attention. Then I began our current regime where he is allowed to have sex when I want the greater pleasure his little cock can sometimes bring.
What this did was put him on my sexual cycle. The only time he had any hope of ejaculating was when I was on heat. The rest of the time, while I would have him pleasure me with his tongue and fingers from time to time, his cockette was entirely irrelevant. (Caging him has only underscored my control.) A man allowed to ejaculate only a few times a year is a very attentive man.
It was a natural progression to both punishing him and whipping him to remind him of his place and he learned to accept his whippings as a near substitute for the sexual satisfaction he was denied. He actually gets quite broody when he's not been whipped for a week. Over a year, while he might ejaculate a dozen times, he'll be whipped at least forty. Whipping makes a huge improvement in elliot's attitude and puts a bounce in his step.
Humiliations like corner time, his little black cock cage and having to wear a girdle during the day or a nightie to bed, simply re-enforce the fact that I am in complete charge in our marriage. Special attention like nipple clips or having to push his steel rod up his backdoor add a bit of surprise to the mix.
The wonderful thing about a wife led marriage is that elliot is completely focused on me and what I require. And, of course, I pay strict attention to elliot. At the most basic level after years of marriage, we each are devoted to each other. The femdom element and the fact elliot is chaste means that we both live on a bit of sexual edge which many of our contemporaries' marriages seem to have lost.
When a wife is in charge of her marriage she has no choice but to pay close attention to her own desires while ruthlessly curbing her husband's. More than once I have whipped elliot simply because he was getting all hot and bothered and I was not in the mood. A well whipped man standing in his corner with his nose pressed in your panties is actually a pretty sexy sight and, I have to admit, I have occasionally whipped elliot just so I could take myself in hand for my own pleasure as he stood so obediently. Which is, of course, my perfect right and I wouldn't have it any other way.