|And Not Today Either|
While I require him to do some of the housework and attend to my clothing, shoes and lingerie, I also want an equal in my marriage. A contradiction? I don't think so. What Elliot subordinates to me is first off his sexuality, second his right to make decisions in our marriage and third, any inclination towards "bad" behaviour as I define it. These are all things which he is better off without. There is no reason for any man to make sexual decisions: men are happiest when they are simply told what to do sexually. Yes, every so often I let him have the illusion of a sexual encounter in which he is on top. But he is well enough nipple trained that he is not coming until he has his nipples pinched.
Elliot has accepted the fact that his normal state is chastity. The fact he is hard, that he is horny, is wonderful. It is also not at all relevant to my sexual pleasure which is all that counts in our marriage. I do like him hard when I want him hard and that means he takes his little dose of Viagra and waits for my needs. In our marriage his "needs" are entirely immaterial.
The best marriages have one partner in charge and responsible for the decisions which have to be made in a marriage. I listen to Elliot but al the decisions - financial, social and family - are mine to make. As to bad behaviour, whether Elliot is snippy or disrespectful, if he goes out without permission or has one too many drinks, if he looks at another woman the wrong way or pretends to have the right to comment on my conduct, he knows he'll be strictly and severely punished.
It is how we chose to live. It is not for everyone but it works well for us.