A dominant wife is first and foremost an elegant woman. She finds a style which suits her, she is demure, lady like, contained and confident. Her husband, day in, day out, cannot believe his luck.
Hose, shoes, handbags, dresses and, for fun, stylish little hats or lovely long leather gloves all add to her allure. While a dominant wife might well have a bit of black leather discretely tucked away for play, her dominance comes from who she is and not from her husband's strange little fantasy life of black leather and chains.
There is a reason for this - an elegant woman can go anywhere in public. She will demand and receive courtesy from all who meet her. She will set a standard of behaviour which will in turn set the standard for her husband. The fact she has a long handled hairbrush in her handbag is her business. The fact she is quite prepared to march her husband into a secluded corridor and use it is also her business.
The click of highheels (which he has polished) coming down a hall towards a husband who knows he is to be punished is often more powerful than the punishment itself. The delicate arching of an eyebrow when a husband is begging for release is an exquisite reminder of his absolute submission to her authority.
Or, at least, that's what works at our house.